Why does this guy who's a bit of an asshole have so many girls want to date him?

So my guy friend goes through the girls so fast, it's crazy. We're in highschool and he's on his fourth in the last 10 months.
He's a bit of an asshole to say the least, and I don't understand what the appeal is, and how so many girls want to date him?

There are so many nice guys and girls out there that are interested in dating but don't get asked or whatever for whatever reason, and I just can't figure out how a mediocre (in all genuine, brutal honesty) can have so much interest from the opposite sex while nice people get left behind (or so it seems).


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, he's yr friend, right? So, SOMETHING must have SOME kind of appeal about him... I mean, you did explicitly introduce him as "[your] guy friend". Not "some asshole rando".

    What's the basis of yr friendship?

    And/or, are you next in line (or you really want to be), and kinda trying to deny it?
    I suspect that this ^^ might be the case.
    yep.

    Brutal honesty moment, girl. Is yr "friendship" really just a platonic friendship? Or, are you kinda getting sucked into that same vortex?

    I mean, that IS a thing, ya know... just the fact that other girls are interested, can actually perpetuate itself after a while.
    Like, say yr standing on a corner, and a few people look up. Well, obviously, you'll look up, too, right? And so will everyone else... until you have hundreds of people looking up at NOTHING AT ALL, just because a few rando's decided to start that.
    In lots of these scenarios, THAT explains part of the appeal -- it's just a weirdo chain reaction, where some girls were interested (for some stupid-ass reasons), and then other girls became interested because THOSE girls were interested... and then the cycle became a cycle.

    There's probably some real reason beyond that, but, you'd be surprised how powerful that effect can be.

    Aaaaaanyway, back to you.
    Platonic friendship yeah?
    Or, are YOU weirdly intrigued, just like the other girls?

    There's no "correct answer" to that. I mean, if you ARE weirdly intrigued by him, it shouldn't be that hard for you to take the upper hand away from him, if you like playing fun games with boys.

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    • Definitely in denial, and definitely weirdly intrigued. You've actually understood so well it's freaky, like I want to give you MHO right now ahaha

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    • Tx for the MH luv. <3

      Any updates on this situation? How is everything going?

    • 2mo

      Omg how did I miss this?

What Guys Said 12

  • Most likely, he projects an attitude of confidence and that is what teenage girls are looking for.

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    • This is also most certainly true.

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    • Hah I like how you tossed that totally unnecessary qualifier "teenage" in there. Lol

    • @redeyemindtricks Because the asker is only 16 years old and I wanted to make sure that she understood I was talking about the age range which is of interest to her. Of course older women want a man with confidence!

  • Well, there is an epic answer to this, ladies, titled "What happened to the Nice Guy? YOU did..." This was written by an older man, but the analogy still applies at your high school age:

    www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html

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  • Its the girls sex hormone its addicted to confidence and girls even admit it that they would rather date a confident asshole that a "nice guy."

    But as some one who fits the nice guy persona I dont have any of my ex's talking behind my back. Unless its to provide an example of what we were like. If they have something to say I already told them to tell me rather than to start rummors.

    As a result I dont feel bad for girls at all who date assholes who can't keep their shit together and feel the need to jump from one girl to another.

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  • Lol well your age pretty much says it all, high school, girls you age are all about the bad boys/asshole, the confidence, the mystery, the alure, and their idea of a badboy is probably what they see in the movies, the fact that they are hormone (ly) and chemically unbalanced and unstable also plays a part in that.

    It's no real surprise, why, but they'll wise up eventually.

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  • Nice people are kiss asses and get walked all over women want a challenge. Either a challenge for authority in the relationship or to try and fix their messed up ways

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  • because we assholes are the most desirable. we give women a thrill. keep them on the edge. we are unpredictable. and we are dominant and masculine.

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    • I don't disagree but I'd like to add I think there's an appeal of the girls wanting to 'change him' or other crap like that out of a B-grade movie.

    • totally. almost every woman on earth deep down believes SHE is the special snowflake that will make us change... . buhahaha its frankly hilarious.. .

    • You're on the mark ahahah

  • Because jerks get chicks. Didn't read the memo?

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  • Girls like guys that are somewhat asshole. They like confidence guys.

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  • Why is he an asshole, what did he do

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  • cause he is cool

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  • Humans are not ruled by our instincts the way an ant is but we are shaped by them. They delineate our inclinations and show themselves when populations are viewed demographically.

    Women have two instinctive reproductive strategies. Find a guy who will support and protect them and help care for their children so that they have a better chance of survival. The ideal of this type is both supportive and capable but can be much more one than the other.

    The second strategy is to have children with the most attractive male possible because even if he is unwilling to support or protect if your children, particularly your male children inherit whatever makes him attractive they will spread your and his genes far and wide and some will survive. Women who went with one or both of these types had more successful offspring and are our ancestors.

    The characteristics of this second type of male are that he be high status, high sex drive and promiscuous. Humans identify high status lots of ways, we watch how other people treat someone but we also associate behavior like acting with less consideration of others or acting as if the rules don't apply to you, asshole behaviors, as those of a high status person. Indeed when you put them in a position of power most humans will act more like assholes and the people under them will be more accepting of asshole behavior.

    Naturally males evolve to be what women want in a partner, the ones who don't don't reproduce. One of those strategies is to fake high status. This works best on inexperienced or insecure women.

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  • Because teenage girls are so easy to fool and play around with. They're just stupid and naive in so many ways.

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What Girls Said 4

  • That's a good question... I have no idea. I tend to fall for guys who are total assholes and I can't explain it.

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  • it's high school. no one has the best judgement and almost every one there is surely a dumbass. But, in college, he might have tougher luck.

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  • Some girls are assholes too. Usually, like attracts like.

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  • Maybe the girls think they can change him?

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