My current boyfriend has an issue with the fact that my ex was black?

Yesterday my boyfriend of 2 years and I were joking around and looking at old pictures on our FB pages. Everything was fine, until we came across a picture of me and my ex that I broke up with a few years back. He's heard about him but he's never seen a photo of him before. He suddenly started acting really weirdly and wouldn't speak to me properly. After a bit I asked him what was up, and he said he feels strange about the fact that my ex is black. I thought he was tolerant of other races, so I don't see why this is such an issue to him? We're both white by the way.


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Most Helpful Guy

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have no idea either, like why is it even a problem? Your relationship with him ended years ago.

    Sounds to me like he's racist or insecure. He needs to get over that fact, it was a long time ago. You are with him now.

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What Guys Said 34

  • He's a narrow-minded, judgmental racist. Poor choice of a boyfriend, I must say.

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    • I didn't even know this about him until this, you can't really blame me...

    • Then you need to have a serious talk about him regarding this, and ask what his problem is. He is probably insecure about the size of his junk, due to the common stereotype of black guys having bigger dicks (which is of course not always true).

  • Just point out that he needs to grow out of being sterotypical white dude. As a part of the Minority (I'm South Korean) I got lots of friends. The coolest part is that I got friends from just about every race and they are awesome. Minorities dont hate all white people its the ones with the racist opinnions that we have issues with. If you can accept us we treat you like family. the only real cost of dating us or being like a family to us is the fact you may gain weight xD. (As we tend to cook lots but also dont like to let stuff go to waste.)

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  • your boyfriends kind of a dink lol. his first world problems, wow. he needs to prioritize his insecurities let alone his life.

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  • he's either racist or insecure about the stereotype that black guys are sexually superior

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  • Probably sexual discomfort because he probably thinks (and I apologize for saying this but I'm just answering) that you've been "railed" for a while and that he isn't as satisfying as he may of thought he was. Which I can somewhat relate but I was reassured before I actually found out her ex was black and so therefore when I found out I didn't care as much if at all after a day. Or it could be just where you're from it's not that common? I know back home (Alabama) different ethnicity dating wasn't very common but now sense I joined the military and been in three years, two of which stationed in Arizona I've seen for more mixing and what not I guess. So there's a couple of reasons or it could just be the fact of seeing you happy with your ex and wandering if you're as happy with him?

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  • I've never understood this type of thinking. As if a black guy is any different from a white guy. You're with him and obviously like and enjoy him.

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  • He probably worried that he is not "big" down stairs. That or he is actually racist.

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  • I'd be jealous also, at some point he is black, at the other he might have bigger p**is compared to me so, perhaps it's normal he to act like that, he just didn't know.
    I also was feeling strange my ex reveal some things to me, just talk to him, normally.

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  • That's a red flag right there. Ask him to elaborate on his discomfort.

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  • He is getting insecure cause your have Been with guy with a better dick size... And he thinks he is not that big enough to please you...
    If you live him then tell him his dick size doesn't matter

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  • I don't know why people are calling him racist everyone is too sensitive these days
    He is obviously afraid to tell you that he is thinking the ex has a giant dong
    Believing in a sterotype doesn't make you racist and anyone who says so is a hypocrit

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  • He's insecure, either from the fact that he could lose a fight against your ex or about possibly being shorter downstairs. The best you can do is reasure him that he's the one for you and that your ex means nothing now

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  • Must... resist... using... a Sexual... Joke... ARRRRGH!!!
    Your boyfriend needs to chill... whats past is... past.

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  • Uhhh, my best guess would be that he now feels insecure because he believes that his penis is small compared to the black dude.

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  • Why does the white race have so many shitty women in it :|

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    • Are you referring to me?

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    • As gross as that can be and usually is, You are anti-white for making a question anonymously to attack white people.

    • Lol where did I attack white people? This is ridiculous...

  • It's because black dudes are associated with having big dicks, so he thinks your ex was a lot bigger than him.

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  • Cultural mythology.

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  • Must be the black guys are bigger rumour

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    • They're both roughly the same size though.

    • Well he clearly bit paronid over it cause a lot of girls make out black guys more hung

  • does he believe in evolution?
    or was he raised in one of those families

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  • your boyfriend is insecure as fuck. I'd question what I see in him

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  • Change your boyfriend.

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  • He must think the saying "Once you go black, You never go back" is true and he's scared to lose you.

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  • If he isn't racist, maybe he just has some insecurities. Everyone does in some way.

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  • well it means your pussy cuold be stretched a lot so it makes sense

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  • i think in this case he's scared of his dick, maybe he feels in adequate

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  • Why is everyone here saying that her boyfriend thinks his dick is small compared to a black dude. It's probably not even the case you know some people just get grossed out by the thought of a black dude had fucked the girl their with. They just think It's just gross. Also let me guess you didn't even tell your current boyfriend that your ex was black until he figured it out by looking at that picture.

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    • Why should I be obligated to tell him that he was black? Does it matter?

      And tbh I spoke to him and he's obviously insecure because of the penis size myth.

    • That's stupid I can't believe some people believe in that Stereotype.

  • I personally don't like black people, but i have a reason for it. When i was a kid i was chased down by 3 black kids with knifes and they would have killed me if they caught me. That's my personal reason to dislike them. Maybe something like that also happened to him?

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  • Dude is a racist

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  • Maybe he buys into the dick size thing and feels inadequate all of a sudden.

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  • it's not races. white guys just feel like they can't live up to the black guys sexually and becuz they have bigger penises than them. so that's prolly it.

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What Girls Said 20

  • I would try talking to him about it.

    If he thinks that you're "tainted" because you had a black boyfriend, personally I'd end the relationship.

    If he feels insecure because he's afraid that he may not measure up, that you could probably work with him to resolve.

    Either way, good luck! ;-)

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  • Meh, I'd dump him for being a racist douche. However, if you're more lenient than I am, I guess I recommend sitting him down and reminding him that your past is your past. You're with him now and any other guy shouldn't matter to him, especially if the only problem is the other guy's race.

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    • It's not about me being more lenient at all. I spoke to him about what was worrying him and it was clearly a sexual issue.

  • If he freaked out like that than he may have a problem with interracial dating, which is stupid af. Who cares what race you date, as long as you like them? And it's in the past - tell him to get over himself. He sounds judgmental and hateful.

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  • Did you ask him what about his race makes him feel strange?
    It could be something so stupid like 'because your ex is black, he would have been bigger and pleased you more in the sack'. If thats the case, you might just need to give hime some reassurance in the bedroom that he's doing just fine...

    if its because he doesn't like people of colour... then he's a dickhead.

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    • I asked him but he didn't really answer me properly. He's very insecure sexually already, so I think this might have added fuel to the fire. I'm really hoping he's not racist.

    • Well they say 'once you go black you never go back'... he probably assumes your ex was bigger and better purely because he was black.

      I don't think he is racist. I honestly think its because he's sexually insecure.

      I'd encourage you to talk it over with him.

  • just tell him you can't change the past and you should both be working towards the future together. if he can't except it then its time to move on

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  • Than you need to talk to him about it!

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  • -He's racist
    Or
    -He feels inadequate because of the whole "big dick" stereotype.

    But he should feel great because you went black and went back lmao XD

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    • Exactly. If he's keeping his girlfriend happy, wouldn't it be a source of pride and be like " yea she used to date black guys but now I turned her around" type of thing. Then everyone would think his dick game is on par with or better than the black dude.

  • omg tell him it's over and tell him to get his head out of his ass. what matters is he has you now.

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  • Maybe he secretly thought that black guys were no threat boyfriendwise but now that he see's you're quite capable of dating and being interested in a black guy, he may be questioning things and adjusting his thinking and realizing he should be paranoid about them too... sorry just my theory

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  • Owww I took your question another way (is he thinks he's inadequate). If his racist he's a idiot.

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    • To be honest, I think it's a combination of both.

  • lol my boyfriend did something like that too, but my ex was the same race as me except he wasn't really attractive and my boyfriend was very upset why i was with him bla bla bla...

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  • maybe he's scared his game won't match up lol tell him not to believe stereotypes... or maybe he's just racist I don't know 😐

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  • he's not bro enough

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  • huh... I would probably break up with my boyfriend if he had issues about the race of my ex.

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  • he may have heard something bad

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  • Because he's racist

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  • That is kinda silly of him

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  • It's because of his dick size and he is worried he isn't performing good enough.

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  • lol I would dump you If I seen that

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  • I am sorry to break these news to you:
    Your current boyfriend is an idiot.

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