Boyfriend won't greet my family, hadn't made a good impression, doesn't want to change?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months now, and he hadn't made a good first-impression with my family as he didn't introduce himself at all, and he didn't even greet my mum when she came to pick me up. He also didn't introduce me to his friends when he took me to their birthday meal. His mother had to ask him to introduce me to his brothers.

My mom and grandma told me to think carefully about him, because they didn't like his attitude. I spoke to him about this yesterday, because I wanted my family to reconsider him. I understand why he's so reluctant to speak up, because he's shy and I know it's kinda hard for him to participate in social situations - I get that. However, greeting someone, especially your girlfriend's family is really just common courtesy. He says he knows it's common courtesy, but he doesn't want to change. He just says its easier for him if he just stays the way he is.

I'm not sure what to make of this because this relationship not likely to work if my family doesn't like him, but as cliche and as cheesy as this sounds, i don't want to lose him. It's not even a major thing - all he needs to do is just say hi every time he and my family meet and just make a little effort.

What should I do? As a couple, this is our first argument ever. Oh, this is also our first time being in a relationship. We are both 17.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all, I think you could have introduced your boyfriend to your family.
    Second, it was rude for him to not introduce you.
    Third, the fact that he won't change is going to bring down the relationship in the future. I agree with your family.

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    • I agree, I think I was at fault too for not introducing him first

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    • well i asked him if he would greet my family next time, along with two massive paragraphs about why i am feeling like the way I am now. He just replied "I will", and I stupidly put "thank you". why does it feel like i'm the one who is in the wrong? i feel like he's hardly making an effort

    • I don't know if I can say why you feel like you are in the wrong. But you are right that he is hardly making an effort. Just saying "I will" is not much of a way to apologize and talk out what is going on. He is just making things up so you can move on and not bring this (or anything) up again.

Most Helpful Girl

  • Tell him calmly that him having a good relationship with your parents is really important to you and that sometimes he has to make sacrifices. Remind him that greeting your parents is nothing more than common courtesy and it shouldn't be a big deal to him.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with your mother and grandmother.
    His conduct is a red flag that is the size of a roadside billboard.
    Dump this fellow. He is bad news.
    If you were my daughter, the toe of my boot would be up his arse.

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  • He just needs to mature a little. If he's ever going to be something in life, he has to communicate.

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What Girls Said 0

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