How come I can't get a date? Even when they ask me out?

So im on a dating app and if it wasn't for me reading and hearing about people actually meeting boyfriends/girlfriends on it, I would have deleted my account a long time ago. I have been on the app for about 6 months now (after last deactivating my account) and I got one date, who I only went on because I was very lonely, and on the date found out he was a total idiot.

I talked to several guys, some for even 2 weeks, but I Just can't get a date. The few guys who actually do ask me out never go throught with it.

I have tried being passive and active in Our conversation. Its har not to think its something im doing wrong, especially when I Just learned that my sisters roommate is going to meet a guy from tinder tomorrow and they dont even live in the same city.

I dont take Those apps too seriously, but it shouldn't be so hard to just get one date? What am I doing wrong?

I have tried asking guys out too, but they'll say yes, but can't go when the Day comes


Most Helpful Guy

  • Can't really tell without seeing the profile, or least describing it.

    At the end of the day, you have to remember apps give people multiple options at their fingertips, they can be talking to several others at once and they'll simply pick the best one.

    • Well I need to take new pics for sure, but I get attention so I doubt my pics are the problem.. and I know you're right, but I dont know how to stand out... in addition I dont understand why they ask me out just to back off. . It happens everytime. ..

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    • Ahh, see, by not approaching you've further cut the number of legitimate guys down. You might have missed one or two who didn't give a second glance but might have gotten to know you and dated after a 3rd glance (you messaging them). Or even a shy guy who was too scared to message you lol.

    • Maybe.. when you mentione it I have matched with several guys, but only a few of them actually messaged me, so maybe the rest of them are shy

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm really sorry this is happening to you! I am having a very similar experience. After 4 months on Plenty of Fish I decided to try another site. I have had good luck on POF before, but this time around it's just not working out.

    Like you, I've talked to many guys. I initiated many conversations, I act interested or passive (tried both), and either way I was getting nowhere. I'd talk to a guy, he'd seem excited initially and then after a week or so of conversation, he'd drift off and I would never hear from him again.

    There are several reasons why this is happening. Perhaps they just got out of a relationship, and things are still iffy as to whether they will get back together or not. They met someone they like more, or they met someone before you and things are getting more serious. Perhaps they aren't all that serious about dating in the first place. Maybe they are still reeling from a past heartache.

    Ultimately you just have to keep trying. In the 4 months I was on POF I only managed to get 2 dates. 2 dates! That's not a whole lot. And I had so many guys ask me out, only to flake when the time came.

    I feel this is a symptom of the modern times. No one wants to commit to anything anymore (not even a coffee date) because something far better could be just around the corner! It makes me really sad. And I hope for both of our sakes that we start having better luck.

    I've been told I'm a wonderful person, and guys have told me they have no idea why I am having such a hard time. I feel like you are probably in the same boat. Nice person, great qualities, but just not having any luck.

    Have you tried any other sites? I just started an account on Ok Cupid and it seems to be getting more action (though I'm a new member, so that's maybe why?).

    Either way I hope our luck starts to change!

    • Thanks! Maybe I should try another too

    • Thanks!!

    • Thanks!

What Guys Said 1

  • Are u against one night stands?

    • Not against it, but not something I want to do because I want my first time to be with someone who actually gives a fuck about me

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    • I think u suck at texting and u can't establish a connection. Try to get your dates in rl

    • Its probarly the issue, haha

What Girls Said 1

  • You're not doing anything wrong. I think you might just be looking in the wrong places. I've been on a dating app like that before for the past 2 years and I only ever got one date out of it too. Most people just use those sort of apps to hook up, so if you want to go on a real date, I'd suggest looking elsewhere. Try joining a club or a society or meeting some friends of friends :)

    • I joined a volunteer group, I joined a handball team, I go out , but still nothing. I had a very short thing with a guy in October, but I haven't managed to meet anyone since then. Thats one of the mainly reasons I look for guts on apps, I just can't seem to meet guys irl

    • Aw don't worry, I felt the same way before (hence why I was on a dating app) and then one night I went out with my friends just to have a girly night out and I ended up meeting a guy. Trust me, it'll happen when the time is right and it's usually always when you least expect it :)