I've known my boyfriend for 8 months and we've been together on and off for 6 months. We have made it through some rough patches and I have been trying to make things work with him but I don't see myself marrying him. I'm 19 and he's 25. He's my first and I do love him but he wants more serious things than I want to give him right now. Such as children and I want to finish school and become a doctor, so I really don't see myself having children in the near future let alone with someone who I'm not married to. And I'm also not ready to marry him so here I am. I think we have a decent relationship but nothing too spectacular besides the fact he's my first. He treats me well and loves me but he says things I don't agree with and my lifestyle is also changing and it's not like we live together so I feel like I'm drifting away from him by the day. I'm not someone who is afraid of being alone but I don't want to ruin something that has the potential to be long lasting. Any advice would be great
Well you must then sit down with this guy and be very direct as to what plans you have and want.. if he loves you he will go along with your choices, if he does not agree and goes all huffy on you.. then find another guy that will respect your decisions.. you are young and there are many guys out there that do respect a decision a women makes and will stand by them for it.. but at the same time as saying that point there are just as many if not more that want it to be their way.. or the highway.. I do hope all works out for you.. you have a good plan in place do not let no guy trample on your groundwork
Ok, it seems you are 90% latching onto this guy simply because he was your first. 10% is because the relationship sorta works. If you take out the fact he was your first, there really isn't much holding you two together. Your relationship is rocky at best. Here is the secret... The easier the relationship is, the better it is. When you have to work work work and fight and struggle to make it happen you need to take a step back and realize that this maybe isn't the best relationship for me. Again, it is sorta working, but you can sorta make it work with a 90 year old man who lives in a different country too. See what I mean? I think you are repressing the fact that both your lives are just very different right now and you both want different things. I think you both are afraid to hurt each other feelings and do what needs to be done which is let go.
He doesn't expect any of those things and honestly wants to give it time as well🙃. He knows you can't commit and its perfectly haply woth adjusting to that. Actually he's coming to find a number of your ways sensible for both sides. And take comfort in having you while he finishes school as well. No rush. No pressure. All he wants. is you. and has np waiting to keep everything a possibility. he's not tied to marriage as an essential and is doesn't expect much very soon. Just chill🙃
Sounds like you guys are in totally different phases of your lives and that's the moment you know the age gap is too big. You just can't offer him the things he want in life and he either has to accept that or break it off. Although I do recommend him to break it off so he won't miss out the things in life.
If he expects such a young girl to build a family with him just because you've dated 8 months, I think you should consider breaking up honestly. He might be the one wanting kids, but you sound way more mature than him.