Have you dated anyone who has gone through a traumatic experience (and still has emotional baggage)?

I really like this guy, and I've been dropping hints that I like him for many months. We're finally (almost) together, and he's opening up to me.

I had no idea but he opened up to me about a traumatic experience that he has when he was younger, and how that made him very depressed for years. I saw a completely different side of him (he's usually confident, funny, and just awesome) but he was so vulnerable and hurt, and insecure.

I guess I knew that he could be moody because pre-dating he would just disappear for weeks from everything, email, texts, Facebook, Twitter etc. I'm scared that he'll disappear on me again.

But I still care so much about him and I want to be there for him. I have a really bubbly and cheerful personality and he told me that when he sees me, his bad thoughts go away. I'm afraid that I won't be enough for him, though. I've also never dated guys with such emotional baggage. Would it be hard? Do you have any experience to share, what I can do to support him?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I know I am one of those who have emotional baggage for sure, I have a baby mama who won't respond to me to see my kid and I now taking legal action. I was in and out of foster care as a kid and watched my mom be abused by my dad and I dealt with depression and anxiety and yet nobody would know this unless I got close to them and let them actually know because most people see me as always smiling, always happy loads of confidence but we all have emotinoal issues some just choose to not show it.

    The fact that he's opening up to you is a really good thing because he trusts you and that's rare to find and that's a VERY good thing for your position, I know you might look at it as this might require more support and help but actually if he's opening up to you he just wants you to listen and keep being yourself because he likes you for who you already are. So I wouldn't worry or change yourself or think about how you can support him, I would simply just be there and be the ear he needs and realize that he trusts you to open up to you and that's likely a very big step for him and that's a good sign for you.

    Don't be afraid that you're not enough, you're clearly more than enough for him, keep your head up and be there for him and keep being yourself and you'll make him happy and he will always want to be with you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • you're just there for them i think. And actually listening. Empathize before automatically sympathizing. Just talking. Making eachother laugh.. smile.. cuddling.. Playing with his/hair.. Just being close. A shoulder to cry on. A hand to hold and take the next step. Really just taking into account whats made the two of you you. and moving on from that. its nice when someone there to brighten your day.

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