Second Date Flake, or Was I Wrong?

After a few meetings at a shop where she worked, I hinted her attraction level was high, so once I got her number, I instantly asked her out the same day & she agreed.
That evening she waited as I was 30 mins late, took her to 3 different places, had a lovely dinner where she was amazed by my magic tricks & the people being very nice to me (I took my dates there, that's why) & sent her to her friend's house by 11:30pm where she had sleep-over plans originally. Her friend giggled when she got off the car - it was awkward to kiss her. The date lasted 5 hours.

Texted her the next morning. Then after 5 days. With her "Hii" & "niceeeee" replies, I reckoned she was excited to hear from me & enjoyed reading the book I'd lent her. After 3 exchanges, we went no further. She could be busy from work, I thought. That afternoon I texted if she could join with me the next day for an exciting trip to the place we talked about on our date. I knew this was a long shot since she's got work. I got no reply.

I texted later that I hadn't heard from her so I went on but would just make it up to her next time. I didn't mention I proceeded with another girl I have been hooking up with for sometime - 'twas the same girl she mentioned she'd once seen in my car when I went to the shop.

I radio-silenced. After 2 weeks she texted she'd finished reading the book. I called her the next morning & arranged for a "definite" date. She sounded very excited asking me where we were going as I told her to bring her fave head cap & sunglasses. The 2nd date was set 7 days away.

I did what a relationship expert said that after setting a date, inorder to create more attraction/excitement, avoid contact 'til the day of the date. That day, I waited at the supposed rendezvous. I got a no show! I called but no answer, so I texted with polite messages later.

She's 19, pretty, deep-thought & social media icon. I'm in my 30's w/ a busy career.

Any thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Not interested, it seems.

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    • I did call her after 15 mins past the meeting time, but no answer... And later sent 2 polite text messages containing "sorry we missed each other", "don't worry" and "take care," but no reply.

    • Still, at that point she probably still just thought that you only reach out to her when it's convenient to you, and that you calling and texting her didn't erase the fact that you went a week pretending like she didn't exist. Add this to the fact that she didn't seem too interested right from the start. Just not a very good combination at all.

Most Helpful Guy

  • "I did what a relationship expert said"
    That sounds to me like it was your mistake.

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    • Shed some light on please.

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    • Good point! So, how do I go about this?

    • Act like she just couldn't be there. Don't take it as a rejection. It might just be that she forgot. Maybe she still thinks you are cool but she flaked and still like you. If you just stop seeing her, you will never know what happened and migth be wasting an opportunity when all it took was a little more time for her to get to know you. Maybe make it less formal. Just taking a walk with her or having coffee. Also, tell her that if she is not interested, to feel like she can just tell you. Make her feel confident that she can tell you the truth. That it is better that way for both parties.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 2

  • If she was really interested then she'd have replied to your messages. Sorry, man.

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  • Probably thought you lost interest so didn't show.

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    • 7 days without contact, I suppose? I usually do this no contact thing with other women even it is about 5 days waiting... I thought it was ok still, I'd been busy anyways, so time flew fast for me.
      I had flakers before but they had sort of alibis and would come around.. This is my first to experience with a 19-year old no show (no call, no text). Any advise?

    • Ask her why she didn't show?

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