My boyfriend thinks im a slut?

My new boyfriend has found out that I've been with 3 guys he now plays football with and they told him i have been with a lot of guys. He called me a slut and said he is not going out with a slut. i dont want to lose him help x


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Guys that age, once they form an opinion they don't have the brains to change their minds. Drop him. He is going to treat you badly. Don't let him!

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 41

  • three guys that he plays football with is a high percentage within a small group. And they told him there were many more. That really is making it look like you are making yourself available to groups of guys. Not a wise decision. He see that as you being a slut, and obviously you numbers are not going to magically go down, so there really is no way for you to hold on to him.

    Expect similar results if you continue making yourself available to guys that know each other.

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    • its a team who are sponsored by our local niteclub so a lot of guys train and play together etc but i think guys try and boast etc about girls.. i would love to approach them and ask what they said but i will end up looking worse..

    • If you had sex with them, then that is what they said. You are right that it would do not good to approach them about it.

    • Thanks for your advice

  • Well, you're a slut, you've slept around so you gotta deal with. I mean, it's your past, you can't change it, you accepted the responsibility of your actions when you fucked those dudes, and you gotta understand there are people that don't like going out with sluts.
    Clearly you're not the right person for each other.

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  • He can't handle the idea of always being around 3 guys that have hooked up with his woman... most guys can't handle that TBH.

    Women must keep in mind that after you hookup with a guy, his close friends, common friends and fellow sports team members are all off limits.

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  • Too late he is already gone

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  • if he called you a slut, he is not a good man. you didn't go with them all at the same time. whom you dated before him is none of his business. tell him that if his ego can't handle your old relationship, he can leave. don't get stepped over girl, don't go extreme to save the relationship. he might say that if you did something he will pardon you. that things may make you an internet star in a bad way.

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  • You have only been with three guys? Thats not being slutty. Does he know it was only three guys in 28 years?

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  • Id rather date a girl who has sex with 8 men I'll never meet rather than a girl who has had sex with 3 men who I am friends with and/or will see on a frequent basis.

    The fact he knows them and they have probably given him all the juicy details makes it much worse.

    Your relationship is most likely over.

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  • Well i dont go around calling women sluts even if they truly are thats really rude especially to say to a woman who likes you, i just find an excuse not to date her in a nice way... with that being said you slept with 3 guys who your boyfriend knows... thats a big no no for most guys !! friends, relatives, mutual friends and anyone close like that is a no no, guys dont date girls who hook up with other guys they know, basically guys dont like sharing their stuff, and sleeping with 3 gusy he knows is way past sharing !!!

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  • Too late.
    His views on women and sex are very set in and he feels ashamed to be with you. Embarrassed even, just because " all " of his friends have already been with you. It sucks and I'm sorry. But he's gone. Maybe in a few years his views will change. But for right now you are a huge no go zone in his mind.

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  • Actions have consequences. People look down on promiscuous people - especially women. You wanted to sleep around and did it knowingly and now you reap what you were sowing.

    Because the reality is that promiscuity is directly linked to all sorts of negative statistics. Mental illness, higher divorce rates, addictions, violence, etcetcetc.

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  • Be happy to get rid of him.

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  • What, you are joking right? You shouldn't accept that kind of disrespect regardless of your past activities, eventually you're long term guy will reap the benefit of your experience, less likely to choose a guy that isn't what you want because you have actually been thoughtful enough to tune your taste and know what you like...

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    • statistically the benefits of her experience are divorce, child support and alimony. not a good prize.

    • @dudeman That's a terrible statistic, I hope that she or anyone will experience life through action, accept the past for what it is " gone " . Also, there is no reason for anyone to accept being abused, insulted or belittled. If you are associated with some one and they wouldn't treat a total stranger the way they treat you, you are better off being a stranger... So, I have to say it again... there is no substitution for experience !!!

  • First of all, each to their own and secondly, if he thinks that way then why would you want to be with him?

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  • Makes me wonder what number wouldn't make you a 'slut' in his eyes... just one? None? I know you don't want to lose him, but it's not like you've been locked in "the highest bloody room in the tallest bloody tower" your whole life, and he's your Prince Charming
    media4.giphy.com/media/mbQw8N6qbFgvm/200.gif

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  • Either you live in a REALLY small town, or you are a slut. If you have had sex with 3 of the guys he plays football with, then my gosh, what is your total?

    You have already lost him. Move on. Some guys are ok with sluts.

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  • Wow he's calling you a slut for sleeping with 3 guys by age 28? Damn that guys pretty shallow.

    I mean not that I slut shame but 3 sexual partners at age 28 is nothing. I mean I prefer if my date hasn't slept around but as long as she doesn't have an STD, kid, or cheats then I don't really care that much. I don't even ask my dates or sexual partners about their number of partners. They don't even ask about mine.

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  • Well you have to tell him that those guys are telling him the wrong thing... And that he is an idiot for believing them

    You are 28 and have been with 3 guys? That's nothing and would be happy about your number...
    Is he didn't believe you then dump him... He isn't worth it

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  • i dont see a problem with whats going on her? you didn't lose him, you never had him. had he know of this the first date you never would have had a relationship to begin with.

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  • If his opinion of U is that bad, there is nothing U can do to change it. A girl sleeping with 3 of her boyfriend's buddies, coworkers, teammates, etc. is kind of a dealbreaker. Sorry, but at this point it is better for both of U to move on. He will never truly respect U or himself if he stays with U.

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  • Past mistakes have a way of coming back to bite you. He's got a point though, why would he want to date a girl that has literally been banged by three of his acquaintances?

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  • Call it quits. Even if I'll agree with the "slut" terminology, it doesn't apply to you. 3 guys at 28 is a relatively low number... he broke up with you already from what I can tell, I suggest you move on.

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    • From what i understood reading her story these 3 guys (well 4 including her current bf) are guys who play in the same team and there are more guys these two are linked to her problem thats why she mentioned them.

  • Dump his ass that guy is not worth your time..
    He is listening to his friends instead of you..

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  • Lose him! He's a dick! A massive dick!

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  • Oh c'mon girl, just let him go and be thankful he's out of your life. Don't loose your time dating a conservative.

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  • If he's going to believe them over you or think you're a slut, why do you want him?

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  • I'd lose him, if he doesn't respect you for a number then he is not the person you want

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  • rule # 45 if you have more than 3 bfs you're a whore. Get your shit together, op

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    • WTF... at 28 years old she's a whore if she's had more than 3 BF's?

      Get real man. Do you have a scale that slides up with age? What's the ratio? Is it different for men vs. women? How many years between S. O's does one need to go to not be a whore?

      My mom's 50. She's been divorced and remarried a couple of times. I know she had BF's in high school. So... I suppose your mom was the virgin Mary before she married your dad and never dated another man? Or is she a whore too? What about your dad? Did he have GFs? Is he a whore?

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    • Unless someone cheats on you or hurts you badly, there is no reason to call someone you're dating (whom you even chose to be with in the beginning) names and treat them like garbage. That speaks volumen to me of the person's character. No one should apologized for someone's verbal abuse.

      Even as a low-count and sexually reserved woman myself, if I were dating someone and find out he's been with many women. Sure I would not like it but I wouldn't go all my way of calling him names. I would simply tell him we're not compatible in that area and break up. Calling him names, would be like saying that I never loved nor care for him.

    • @CheerGirl38139 lol, never kiss a girl who has given a Bj. shit, he's going to have to date a 12 anymore.

  • any girl thats been with more than 2 guys is a slut! you should feel ashamed of yourself

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  • thank god he just saved himself... at this age he should focus on his career he will have a lifetime for a woman to destroy his life... and as to whether u are a s**t or not that i don't know ... but if i was in his place i would also not go out with you

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  • It's no doubt that you are one. I don't understand why your shocked. In sorry but the fact that you slept with 3 of his freinds suggests your pussy is accessible to the whole of mankind. I mean cmon that's nasty. At least have sex with people that don't know eachother. by the way if he's nearly 30 he wants a real woman with values and a long term relationship. Men who want this won't date someone like you for the most part

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    • Hwat? What does sex have to do with a person having values? Please, make this clear for me! Does she have the poor because she's had more sex than you? Does she club baby seals because she's had more sex that you? I bet she hates veterans because she's had more sex than you. Please. Please. Define for me what a real woman is.

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What Girls Said 21

  • I believe calling you a slut is taking it a bit too far. But if you have been with a lot of guys or even just three, it isn't going to matter. The truth is that if you did, then you have. It doesn't make him a bad person or he is going to be abusive to you. He placed his judgement based on your past experience because he doesn't know if you are just going to have sex with him and that's it, even if it's a long term relationship. I would not be involved with somebody who slept with a lot of girls and won't change his ways for a better relationship. I wouldn't even dare have sex with him without a marriage, even if he didn't. If you really like this guy, then you need to ask yourself why do you like him? Are you willing to make sacrifices and changes just to better that relationship, even if it means that you won't have sex? Are you going to put in your whole 100% in devotion or less? Because if that is not your concern and you can't answer these questions, then perhaps it is for the best that you don't be with him. You need to understand that your choices now can effect the type of potential mates you can have for a life time, even the good ones. You can attract the wrong kind of people and have a host of guys coming after just because your willing to give yourself over to them, then the one person who would be devoted to you from a far, but cannot because of your life choices. Not so much from your past, but from your current state. Are you going to change from this? Or will you continue to be the same person from your past? You need to critically think on this before you step into another relationship.

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  • What the hell?

    Why would you want to keep someone that calls you names? Pardon me, but fuck that shit.

    There are tons of guys with enough manners and self esteem to not ask you your "number" (at going on 30 yo no less).

    You don't have to endure that. Nope.

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    • The slut shamers will come out of their caves for this one. They will call you names and tell you that it's your fault. The bottom line is that you don't have to put up with being called names by someone who's supposed to care about you.

    • Thankyou chick x

  • Those 3 dudes are obviously still bitter. Tell him you made a mistake with those others or say their lying and he's everything your looking for. I would caution that if it doesn't work out, you pick guys from a larger pool so this sort of thing doesn't happen again.

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    • Thanks sarah im def gona stay clear of those guys x

    • Sometimes it can be bitter. Other times they are being helpful, especially if they are on the same team they probably take care of each other. Today with social media, word will eventually get around. She needs to find a guy that is okay with the female version of a player.

  • It sounds from where I am sitting, @chantelx88 that this is One relationship one One end, my friend, that is Not... Unconditional.
    He is already Pointing naughty fingers at you, listening to what others are saying some Dirt and has made up his own Mind, not so Kind, that you are This... Slut.
    Have a long serious talk with him. If he Appears with his own Fears to want to Continue Tossing this sour ball in your face, then you Need to then 'Face' that he is Not going to ever let you live it Down... He would then be no Touchdown.
    Good luck. xx

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  • Guys give the worst advice when it comes to situations like this. To be honest, I think you dodged a bullet. I don't know why guys slut shame when a lot of their kind have slept with the whole volleyball team and cheer team. Just let the boy go. You'll find somebody who truly appreciates you and doesn't care if you slept with more than two dudes. Also, you're 28, so three guys is nothing compared to what the true sluts score. I have a girl who's in my class who slept with more than ten guys in the past three years. Now that's a slut. Besides, is it wrong to experiment or have sexual relations with another guy before getting a new boyfriend? Those three guys sounded bitter because they could have had you in their arms but wanted to sleep around and party. I'm sure you're a good person and that you didn't just fuck any guy left and right.

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    • "I have a girl who's in my class who slept with more than ten guys in the past three years. Now that's a slut."

      33.media.tumblr.com/.../...e_n31fws5Stu1s6v7f6.gif

      lol you say that like it's a lot...

    • @redeyemindtricks She has a boyfriend every week. I lost count after ten. I kid you not. I've known her since middle school, and she started it since freshman year. She dated the whole football team, some baseball and soccer players, rednecks and even dated a sophomore. With a clear conscience, I can say she's a whore. She says she's done with guys after a breakup, but literally the next day, she's skipping through the hallways with a new boy toy. I get it if you're a sex addict, but she's definitely not one. If she's not a slut, then what is she?

  • 3 is such a small number but its probably because they are people who he knows / sees on a daily basis. Would make it kinda hard for a guy. However, that doesn't give him the right to slut shame you or whatever. If he feels this way then you should consider breaking it off...

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  • First of all, why do you even want to continue being in a relationship with someone that disrespects you and will forever view you that way?

    I'm a low-count myself but even if I don't agree with having casual sex, I wouldn't continue to disrespect someone like that.

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    • Even if I were dating someone and found out he had been with many women, if it bothered me I wouldn't call him names. I would simply say that we don't share the same views towards sex and intimacy and explained that we're incompatible in that area. No need to verbally abuse someone, no excuse for that. Drop him.

  • I would start looking for someone else... I mean, you can't change the past, you can change starting today.
    And what boyfriend calls her girl a slut...

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    • Thats what i said but he repeatly called and texted calling me names i wouldn't repeat.. thanks chick for your reply x

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    • thanks chick x

    • You're welcome!

  • You should want to 'loose' him if he thinks that way about you. No one is perfect and unless u cheated on him or had babies by like 10 diffrent men ur not a slut. why do you want him? .. my feelings for him would be gone if i was you. I bet he's been with loads if women he hasent told you about. Let him go and find a better guy.

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  • Oh really? And you still this dude?

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    • Oh I would make it clear I have fucked mmm 100 guys! How about that? I swear double standards! Makes me want punch a guy in the face for saying something so damn old fashion!

    • Nothing wrong with old fashion. Definitely wrong with punching somebody in the face.

  • eh, i think you dodged a bullet.

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  • Dump his ass or find a way to humiliate him in front of all his friends because he's an asshole who needs to learn a big lesson. He obviously thinks of you more as an object or product and not a human being he does not love you, hurt him.

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  • If he calls you that, he's not good enough for you anyway. Don't let him drag you down. A boyfriend should never insult you. They should be a support system, someone who lifts you up and defends you and makes you happy

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  • Are you serious? Get a hold of your fucking self and move on. Him and those guys are obviously pieces of shit. Dont break your neck over it. Have some self respect.

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  • umm... a guy who calls you a slut is def not one to date...

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  • Why do you want to be with a guy that obviously doesn't respect you. I wonder how many people he's slept with huh

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  • honey he just called you a slut to your face. have some self respect walk away from him and find someone who deserves you. you are worth more remember that and hold your head high and move forward.

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  • It doesn't matter how many guys you have slept with. It all happened before you met him and he needs to understand that. If he can't accept your past then that is his problem. You are not a slut if you've slept with more than one guy.

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  • he is rude D:

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  • First of all, 3 guys is not "a lot" and in no way makes you a slut. People who tell you otherwise are likely immature.
    Second, I would be happy to be rid of a guy like that, he doesn't seem to respect you and sounds like an asshole. I bet you could do better.

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  • your a slut assume your act now, he can do what he want. Let him be with a better girls

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    • i do hope he regrets dumping me and i will move on but not just yet x

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    • i didn't understand your answer im no slut

    • you're welcome

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