How can I control my feelings and stop my feelings for this girl?

I'm 24. I was in a 4 year relationship with a girl I loved and that ended 2 years ago. I'm a monogamous romantic guy, my type is a girl whos innoncent, monogamous, quiet shy, cute nice girls. These past years I have went on 20 dates with 20 differnt girls who fit all of my preferences, shy, quiet, innocent, commited etc, but for some reason I can't feel anything for them, it didn't feel right so I always ended things before they got too serious to not break their heats and lead them on.

Last week I got paired up with this girl in my university (lets call her Monica) for a science project. We ended up sending time together, like a whole 3 days and we got along great, she shares a lot of my interest, we have a very similar sense of humor, I feel she's intelectusally at my level where we can even talk about deep things etc. And we even have a mututal attraction for eachother and she said she would date me. But when it comes to relationships she's is compltelty different then me. she's prmiscious, not monogamous, more into hook ups, casual dating, open commited relationships etc. This should turn me away since its always something I reject from other girls as well... BUT for some reason I have fallen for Monica. I keep thinking about her, and missing her and I even thought about compromising my personal preferences just so I could be with her in a way that I would not be ristricting her from her preferences.

I'm not sure if maybe deep down this is me trying to change and to come out of my shell and become more open to relationships and casual stuff, or maybe if I like her so much as a person I'm willing to overlook or compromise so I can be with her. But its still confusing because it takes a lot for me to get attacked. This feels so wrong but so right at the same time. But I want these feelings to stop because they are scary and the terretory scares me as well. But at the same time it integrues me and I'm also like exicted for something new. Any advice or thoughts?

I mean attacked as in attached. This is weird, I never developed feelings for someone this fast. Im usually pretty closed with my feelings, even peopel I have dated in the past have told me I'm not affectionate enough or I dont try enough, thats only because I haven't felt anything for a woman since my 4 year relationship 2 years ago. I haven't felt this sense or wonder and terror, of fear but comfort, of hope and hopelessness, and a feeling that I'm loosing control
That I'm drowning and drowning but instead of swimming to shore I want to keep swimming to the ocean because I just can't help myself.

I want this to stop on one hand but on the other I dont want it to.

I haven't felt anyhting like this and it confuses me. I even tried to not contact her but it does not help it, the feelings remain


What Girls Said 1

  • You both have different dating styles. But perhaps if you give it a chance, it may turn out to be something great. Always take a chance, before it slips away.


What Guys Said 1