Guys will call, text and visit you 100 times a day until you sleep with them. Then, suddenly, radio silence. Nothing for two or three days. Why?

Why, why, why do you insist on doing this? Because you know it drives us absolutely bonkers. Is it because the thrill of the chase is gone? You got what you wanted and so you just want to be left alone?

Updates:
don't know what to think now, but at least he is speaking to me again, I guess. Should I use subtelty like you said, or just not bring it up at all?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dunno about other guys, but I can say that I've never done that. I've never understood "the thrill of the chase" either.

    The chase is the worst part. If I really got off on chasing shit, I would never order fast food. I'd just be out running after bunnies to snare. Or hunting deer with a knife or something. Na. The best part is eating.

    *shrug* I don't know. Maybe there's some other circumstance that you're not taking into account, because you're jumping to conclusions about it being all about "he got sex, now he no longer needs". Maybe you did something freaky. Or maybe you implied something like "Okay, now you should marry me." Or something. Or maybe the dude is just busy.

    Point being, it might not necessarily be simply because he got laid. Then, presumably, if a chick slept with you once, chances are she will again--so unless you've got like 3 other chicks on the side, ready and waiting, then it's more efficient to continue to invest in the chick who already fucked you.

    Correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation, ya know.

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    • Not always. But communication has been steady and constant for seven months now. Then, after waiting seven months to have sex, we finally do, and boom--no contact. Three days of silence. Nothing freaky or unusual, no marriage proposals, no 'I love you's': none of that. Just seems immature for him to leave me wondering and waiting like that. Yet friends of mine say the same thing has happened to then. Was just hoping to get some insight as to why.

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    • Yes, shortly after I posted this question he went right back to texting and calling as usual, like nothing had ever happened. I don'

    • Ah, well, in that case I don't see a problem. If he's just playing it off like it never happened, then it clearly wasn't a big deal for him. If it happens again, then it shows a pattern, and you'll be justified in asking him wtf. But it's the past, now. I think it would be best to let it go. It was just 3 days. If it was like a week or a month, then I'd totally get it. But 3 days isn't that long. Anyway, GL

Most Helpful Girl

  • You gave them what they wanted, and now they're done. There is nothing left for them to gain except what you already gave them. It was a wam, bam thank you ma'am, sayanora lady, I'm out. No need to further question.

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What Guys Said 14

  • That's the reason why girls shouldn't sleep with guys with the hope of it turning into something more, unless they are actually in a relationship.

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    • I agree with you there, but we've been in a relationship for seven months now.

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    • Okay, thanks. I will probably try that, at least for now. I probably shouldn't bring it up today anyway, because I am still so upset about it that if I bring it up I will probably just start crying, which can only make things worse. Then he will think I am crazy for crying over something that he sees as a non-issue.

    • Yeah, maybe bring it up later on, when your relationship is more stable, a nd you are both emotionally invested in each other more deeply! :)

  • First off sorry if this happened to you. Second of all, not all guys are like this. But you answered it already, for this guy in particular, the thrill for him was in the chase, the hunt. U were his trophy. He sounds like a jerk, and if thats what he did, he is one. U can't allow guys that do this to leave U jaded to the point where U think we all are like that. If this keeps happening to U, then maybe U need to re-evaluate the kinds of men U are attracting or u are attracted to. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me..."

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    • Thanks. I just thought this guy was different. He seemed genuine, and kind, and mature. Down to earth. He's 52, so I thought he'd be moving past the 'playing games' stage of life. Guess I was wrong. I am sure there good men out there. I thought I had finally found one, but it seems like he is just as clueless (and cruel) as the last one.

  • no because we want to see what your pussy feels like. after we've explored that cavern there's no reason for us to stick around because there's other girls out there who we haven't probed yet... indulging in some new pussy for the first time is hard to compete with

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    • At least you're honest!

  • Look, men and women are created differently. A lot of men don't have the emotional attachment or connection that women have. This is the reason why some men will do anything to have sex and sever ties. My recommendation is to wait. I know sex drive varies from person to person, but it sounds like you're a "stereotypical" woman that can wait a looong time for sex. That's actually a good thing. Save yourself for the man that deserves you. If a man keeps hounding you or begging you for for sex, THAT'S A VERY BAD SIGN! A real man will understand and appreciate you wanting to wait.

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    • Thank you! You are right.

  • From time to time, yes, we got what we wanted and we moved on. We may be scared of commitment too, or that specifically.

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  • Because the guys you went with were players. That's what players do. Players play.

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    • Players don't play for 7 months.

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    • And then men wonder why we have such a hard time trusting them.

    • The thing is, this is done by a VERY small percentage of guys.

  • Only assholes do that

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  • Unless your performance was absolutely horrible... that is usually not the case...

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    • Well, he emailed me on the fourth day saying how great it was and that he had never had a day/night like that before (trying not to be graphic since there are kids on here). Now hiscommunication is back to normal and he wants to see me later this weekend. So I don't think it was that. But even if it was, a "hey, sex with you wasn't what I thought it might be, so I'm moving on/taking some time/chasing someone else now" message would be better than silence. I mean how would you feel if a girl didn't talk to you for three days after sex? It's stressful, right?

    • nope... not really. guys with experience are used to the idea that they could be shunted at any time after sex. its girls that usually have a problem with it. sure its gonna bug me... at first... cuz of those damn questions i will be asking myself but then i override it by remembering that girls are too lazy to make first moves so i contact em, find out why.
      i'll just stop there.

  • Players gonna play... Keep an eye out for a decent guy, he will call you the next day.

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  • I'm sure you can work that out for yourself. He only wanted a shag...

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  • hmm... kinda. but when he get horny again, he will surely come. he will call you beautiful and sexy. so be happy.

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    • Yeah, that's part of the reason we never know what to believe. Because guys say things just to get laid, not as a genuine compliment or to express how they feel.

  • Then don't sleep around... What were you expecting from such guys? Relationship?

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    • I wasn't 'sleeping around'. We've been in a relationship for seven months already. It wasn't until we did finally sleep together that he stopped calling me and texting me. And no, I'm not expecting anything other than some decency.

    • Oh woow he just disappeared? After so many months? That is so bad...
      He looks like a jerk

  • yep.. he "hit and git

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    • That's what it feels like.

  • every guy is different , some will do things like this , others might even try and communicate more after sex

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you are chasing the wrong kinds of men

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  • what did you guys do when he visited you? did he take you out? meet his friends, family? your friends? did he tried to get to know you?

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