What is the point of a relationship if you can have different and even better?

Why do people want to Be in a relationship, when there are so many different interesting people out there? Why tie yourself down when their are Plenty of oppertunities? I just don't get it, I don't understand why one would want an exclusive relationship, especially when you're still young. So what gives?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I suppose to each their own - Some want to be single, some want an open relationship and some want a monogamous relationship - I reckon just follow your heart but if you are in relationship tell the other person what you are thinking and why you are thinking it. For me I would think differently as in I feel there is nothing better than meeting right person and settling down but that is just my personal bias.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm poly/non-monogamous myself, but when you get to be my age, you'll start to realize that you'll want or even need someone to come home to. I was lucky in finding a man who was open to letting me be myself. So long as he is the one I come home, and I am always safe and clean, he is ok with me having some fun on the side.

    But young as you are, don't tie yourself down. Go see the world while you still can, while there is still beauty left in it.

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What Guys Said 14

  • Because later in life you'll want more, some one who is more then just an object to have sex with, have a family etc and just because your young now doesn't mean you always will be but your actions now will absolutely impact you in the future. It has a particularly large impact on women. So yeah, just because something is enjoyable doesn't mean its good for you or that it always will be enjoyable.

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  • there are people who always have "the grass is greener on the other side" mindset

    and then there are people who just want to be with the person they want to be with.

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  • It differs by people. Some people like 1 person for as long as possible while others like multiple people for as short as possible..

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  • Being in a relationship just gives you a different experience when compared to a series of one night stands or even several flings.

    I'm not saying you should always go for a long term relationship, but I don't think it's good to just keep going out with different people without ever considering anything serious.

    Just mix it up and you'll be able to experience best of both worlds. ;)

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  • Love?
    is it really that hard to conceive that people might be in love?

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    • Love can be very deceiving and lead people to bad places. Not saying that it's always a bad thing. But I see many people falling in Love with the wrong person, end up having terrible relationships. People fall in Love and get into relationships like it's nothing. Never thinking bout it in a rational way.

    • "But I see many people falling in Love with the wrong person, end up having terrible relationships."

      ^^ Ever heard the expression "Live and learn"?
      The "Live" part refers to doing a whole bunch of shit drastically, horribly wrong. That's where the "learn" part comes from.

      I mean, I suppose _you_ might just know a bunch of people who do absolutely everything right the first time, every time... but, yeah, I doubt that.

  • Stability, trust, getting to know someone can be fun and actually healthy I think. If you bounce around from person to person, you end up being very shallow, and you only know the surface of somebody. Like when you get into a group project and you knkw he shitty students in your group and the ones you can rely on and delegate the work among.

    Plus do you want to go on a trip with someone who you only knkw a little bit? Not me.

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    • What about real close friends? It's not just bouncing around, there are Plenty of ways to get your fill without a monogamous relationship I think.

  • It's pretty simple, actually: kids. In order for the species to ensure a new generation of healthy, stable offspring, it needs monogamous (or polygamous, but never polyandrous) couples to raise children. Neither singles mom not single dads can usually do that job effectively alone, as ample research has shown. Jumping around from mate-to-mate jeopardizes the species if enough people do it, thus most people don't do it.

    So, that's why. It's for the kids.

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    • So if a person doesn't want kids, there is hardly a need for a serious monogamous relationship?

  • Love, and that chemistry, connection you have with someone special, and having that emotional connection and bond that you can only have by devoting yourself to someone.

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  • Because you'll never have that emotional connection that you only get by devoting yourself to one person.

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  • I would tie myself in a relationship if I'd meet a girl that I felt at ease with, that I'd love to come home to :D
    And I've never had one so for sure I'd be very careful to take good care of her :D

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  • Before modern times, for women it was so that support from the man would all go to her, and only her, and for her lifetime even after she has lost her ability to bear children.

    For men, it was so that he could be sure he was the father of the children his wife produces.

    Some things have changed, and the reasons behind marriage have come from a variety of places and been muddled over time, but these things didn't just fall out of the sky.

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    • So why monogamy in this day and age?

    • Religious directives, tradition, and the taboo on tradition.

      But when we get rid of monogamy, it's really good for women and really bad for (most) men. Harems form, and only the very top men ever get wives (or mates, or whatever), and most women do get to be with someone, and are mostly happy to share one powerful wealthy man than be content with all of a more humble man. (This is what history has shown, repeatedly)

      We are descendants of about 80% of all of the women who ever lived, but only 40% of all of the men who have ever lived.

      So the original reason for MARRIAGE (which was instituted largely to fight this outcome, as opposed to the much older pair-bond, which was the "original contract"), is still valid today. Or at least it's valid for men. Women don't have much to gain, who can generally reproduce regardless of whatever else is going on.

  • I think you'll have to experience it for yourself.

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  • You would feel completely different about it if someone found "better' than you.

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  • thats actually TRUE

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What Girls Said 12

  • Well different people have different goals. I've always been very family oriented and a serial monogomist. I just see life as more fulfilling with someone special to experience it all with me.

    You are more interested (from the sound of things) in experiences the most diverse variety of experience and meeting many people.

    Nothing is wrong with either one. They are just different

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  • Because when you meet that special person you don't want to be with anyone else. They suddenly become everything you want and need and therefore there is no room for anyone else or other opportunities. Of course it isn't like that for everyone which is why there are plenty of people who prefer not having a relationship and that is great too, because you should always do what makes you happy.

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  • Why fuck around and never settle down even though you've already found someone you wanna be with and love?

    Look at @redeyemindtricks she's with a man she absolutely loves, and he in return, they're relationship is practically perfect. If she fucked around with guys like a whore all her life, even after finding him, then she wouldn't have 3 kids she loves more than her entire being, she wouldn't be where she is now and she wouldn't be happy. But she's just one example.

    I can see why you'd wanna "play the field" but I can also see why you'd wanna settle down.

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  • Being in a relationship is a completely different experience than being with several different people so you'd have to find out for yourself.
    For me, I love being in a relationship with ONE person only, but different people like different things I guess.

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  • I don't care about different, interesting people or "plenty of opportunities." I've met my best friend and I know that I want to be with him. I've connected with him more than I have with anyone else. There's no way you can have a deep connection with people when you spread yourself so thinly amongst many; if you focus your time on one person, the ability to form a beautifully deep connection is incredible.

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  • Because when I love someone, I love them a lot. And all my energy and time is towards them. So I can't jump from guy to guy. Also it takes me a lot to be able to open my heart to a man and have feelings for him.
    I'm too emotional and attached to be able to sleep around with no strings attached. I can't even get sexually attracted to someone I'm not deeply attached to.

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  • Not everyone wants "different" and "better" is subjective.

    Trustworthy companionship is pretty grand.

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  • I personally would rather spend my entire life with 1 person & create countless memories with them. So then we can get old together & talk about all those good times. Look back on photos from when we were however young. It's just a lovely thought to share my life with that same person than to play the field & possibly end up an old spinster with nothing but a hundred cats around me.

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    • What about good thrustworthy friends? Everyone regardless can end up by themselves.

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    • Yes, it is. How can other people not be added into the equasion? Having a lover is not the only human relationship one can have. Having emotional needs, if you can depend on good trutsworthy friends, won't that counter what you said? About making Memories, having someone to Talk to etc...

    • Tbh no, because those friends will most likely settle down themselves one day, possibly move somewhere far away & start their own family. They'll be busy working & spending quality time together so they most likely wouldn't have time to see you very often.

  • I don't know... You just get hung up on them when you fall in love. Eventually you can't see yourself with anyone else. Ever. Unfortunately by the time you realize this. The relationship may have already slipped through you fingers.😔

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  • Sex with random people just doesn't appeal to me. I think it would be super awkward to fuck someone I don't know well. Sex tend to get better over time. I feel like if I have sex with someone I'm investing in them and I want more than just sex in return. I don't mean financially but emotionally. Sex for sex is hardly a straight swap for hetero women. We are taking more risk and it's harder for us to get pleasure. Love and commitment appeals to me much more,

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  • Monogamy isn't for everyone but don't go bashing on people who see the need in it.

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    • Its not my intention to bash. This is just a genuine question.

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    • That's how I feel about it. I wanted to see what people could give as a reasoning for them to chose a relationship or not. I simply have no clue except if you want to reproduce

    • It's more than just about reproduction. It's not even about morals, it's the mere fact that it's a lot easier to keep up with one person than several people at once. Also, you're always gonna run into interesting people, that doesn't mean that you can't be with just one person. I've been in a long term relationship and my ex and I have ran into some amazing, good looking and intelligent people. We've befriended the opposite sex, but in the end I still would rather have him because he was just right for me at the time. However, now that I am single I later hope for a monogamous relationship with someone new, but I'm not rushing it and enjoying meeting new people. New people that I could see myself with. There are perks to being monogamous as there are perks to being single. I'm just against polygamy.

  • I recently had a discussion with my friends in regards to this topic. My friends were wondering about that as well.
    However, when you're in a relationship, the other person automatically becomes better than the rest because you fell for them and you chose them to be with you. It's... different. You don't feel like you need anybody else. You do not compare because nobody and nothing compares to them.
    In your mind, you don't want other opportunities, you're more than content with the person you have. At least, that's what happens to me when I am in love.

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