Little background info: I'm 22 turning 23 soon. I'm in medical school (have a bachelors degree) and I'll be a doctor in a couple years, been a very successful athlete both nationally and internationally (ongoing), have a bodybuilder type physique (I'm also 5'8-5'9) that stands out and I'm definitely well rounded overall. I live alone, have a car, have a couple passive income sources and so on...
I've had 2 long term relationships. One was a high school sweetheart and second was an attractive girl with borderline psych issues (found out later). Besides that I've had a lot of hook ups, largely with average girls from online dating and some attractive ones.
My problem is that I simply cannot get any sort of interest from attractive girls for anything that would lead to dating. Had lots of first dates this past year with no second dates. So when rejected in a subtle way (online or 1st date) my conclusion has always been that she didn't like my face.
Hard to describe what I look like, but a bit of a greek/italian type look. Been called handsome/cute a lot though I always assumed that was the halo effect of my body + having a nice smile. Don't have the greatest jawline and pretty average eyes which I tend to think is my critical downfall.
So going back to the dates, I usually do a movie date + getting a drink etc. I'm a fairly social guy and tend to click with the girl on these dates.
So I haven't been open about all the details with female friends but they always make comments like "who wouldn't want to date you" , "you're perfect" , "body and brains" and so on. This just creates further frustration because if that's the female perception of me then why so little success with actual dating? My only conclusion is that attractive girls who have endless options seek out the guys who have the best facial aesthetics and care little for anything else (besides personality). Any thoughts? Ideas? Thanks!
Gotten a couple variations of that excuse as well.
Most Helpful Girl
Well maybe your standards of what is average and attractive are too high?
It's been proven that men and women are greatly influenced by edited images they see online and in magazines, setting the baseline for attractiveness. But even super models, who would easily be in the top 5% of most attractive people on the planet. But even they aren't all that without the right pose, lighting, make up and editing.
And say adriana lima was going to your college, you'd never see her like in the first picture and you'd see her more often like in the second or third. So do you think she looks average or attractive there? If the answer is average, you might want to adjust your perception of reality
A different, unrelated point might be that attractive girls are more likely to demand relationships over hook ups, while attractive men do the opposite. So attractive women, might not think your interested in commitment. Which begs the question, what exactly are you looking for? More causal dating or a relationship? Maybe you've given girls the impression it's former
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Most Helpful Guy
No one can answer this question, really. I will tell you that I have had a similar experience - lots of first dates, few second dates, still fewer third dates, nothing serious ever. I think you're right - attractive women have lots of options. Unless they want to start a family, there seems to be no incentive to settle down into monogamy.1