Best (safest) way to turn down an aggressive guy asking for another date?

Went on two dates with a guy. First date was great. On the second date, we got coffee and our conversation made me really uncomfortable. She said some aggressive, potentially violent, things about women. For examle, he told me several stories about exes and each one, according to him, was a "bitch," "slut," "whore," etc. I could also tell he has some anger management issues because he got really worked up during these and other parts of our conversation.

He's texted me once inviting me over to his place. I ignored that one. Now, he's texted me two weeks in a row asking if I'm free the next weekend. To be blunt, he scares and I don't want to see him again. What is the best (and safest, because he knows where I work) way to turn him down? Should I keep ignoring him? Text him to tell him I don't think we're compatiable? Make up that I've realized I'm too busy with work and don't have time for a relationship?


0|0
3|12

Most Helpful Guy

  • tell him you're not interested anymore, ignoring him will only make him more aggressive

    0|0
    0|0
    • I'm a direct, aggressive guy in nature so i can tell you personally... I don't take passivity, passive-aggressiveness nor ambiguity very well at all! Ignoring him will only make him more aggressive in his seeking for closure.

      Based on the vibes u said about this guy, he may start seeking u out in person to get closure, which can get dangerous with this guy. Tell him over text that you're not interested anymore.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should text him and tell him that you didn't feel any chemistry and don't see it going anywhere with him. If he becomes rude or aggressive, DO NOT ENGAGE.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Not out of the blue - next time he texts you asking you to go out tell him that.

What Guys Said 11

  • Just tell him, that this doesn't seem to be going the way that you want, and wish him the best of luck. To ignore him is sending a message of playing hard to get, honest communication is probably best here.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not compatible is a good neutral option, it's neither aggressive nor is it ambiguous.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think you should just say he seems like a great guy but he's not your type so you don't want to see him anymore. That's the nicest way I can think of telling him to leave you alone

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes tell him. tell this in a crouded place or via text. if he threatens you, tell him that you'll go to the police. if you have brothers or cousin bros, they will help you in this situation. take care of yourself after this for sometime. always keep a relative or friend with you while you go out. change your phone number if needed. it's only 2 dates. I doubt if he'd take this personally.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just text him "sorry I don't think this is going to work out" you don't have to explain yourself or anything just leave it like that. It's like ripping off a bandaid

    0|0
    0|0
  • ignore him is the best solution, cause no matter how many excuses or problems you pretend to have he will offer solutions :)))))

    0|0
    0|0
  • Word for word. Im just not confortable in this relationship right now, maybe we can continue as friends and see how it work out in the distant future. Treat him like and applicant that didn't get the job

    0|0
    0|0
  • Watch that movie "Gone Girl" and do what she does to Neil Patrick Harris to him. Hint: it involves a lot of blood yo

    0|0
    0|0
  • Tell him he scares you

    0|0
    0|0
  • In a restaurant or something

    0|0
    0|0

1 private opinion(s)
Only the asker and the opinion owner can see it. Learn more

What Girls Said 2

  • do it early and do it gradually, i don't think an outright "no im not interested" works with aggressive men.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yea just keep ignoring him. Those guys go psycho if ur direct.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I very much disagree, the ambiguity of "going ghost" is what makes a guy turn psycho with seeking closure.

      Saying to the guy "i'm not interested" has the finality needed for him not to seek anymore.

Loading...