In a long-term relationship (marriage material) would you prefer: constant spark/ excitement or someone comfortable where you can 100% yourself?

assume in both you have great sex.

be yourself option: you have laughs, fun, not worry about "relationship" games

spark option, it's exciting, you can talk for hours on end

  • Spark option
    20% (5)15% (4)18% (9)Vote
  • 100% yourself option
    80% (20)85% (22)82% (42)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Defiantly B as the spark that flare, that passion it can be reignited if it ever goes out but how can you truly be in a long term relationship with someone if you don't even feel comfortable being yourself around them?

    Besides if your and your partner are comfortable being yourselves around each other then you'll be open to trying new things, experimenting and the like which in turn will help keep that spark alive as well as reignite it should it go out.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • The correct answer is A. Yep. The correct answer.

    __

    "A relationship where I can be 100% myself" is self-bullshitting code for "a relationship that doesn't challenge me to keep growing as a person" -- in other words, a relationship that's stagnant. Slow suffocation. Every day is... one more mark on a calendar, one less day left in this world.

    Yeah, y'know what, fuck that.

    "Comfort" is a sign that something's wrong. It's a sign that you've stopped GROWING. Stopped learning, stopped learning, stopped struggling to better yourself and the world around you.

    Fuck comfort.

    Keep that spark burning.

    Keep YOURSELF burning.

    NIN made a song that describes these shitty "comfortable" relationships PERFECTLY.
    Here ya go:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Aj9_8t1eQc

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What Guys Said 8

  • Comfortable is the clear winner. The spark will fade. It's inevitable. Those super exciting, hot and steamy aspects are not what love is. They're probably a great temporary partner, but thinking it's going to last forever is stupid.

    When it's more in the middle, that's where a good relationship can form; because, when the oxytocin wears off, there's not that much of a drop off. Being comfortable with the other person is a lot more efficient, long-term, than being all hot and heavy and sparky. Because when you ride those highs, you have to come crashing down eventually. Of course, there remains the problem of the more neutral road getting boring and tedious. Becoming too accustomed to the other will often lead to boredom.

    Now. That is assuming my ultimate goal is a long-term partner. Which I don't believe is natural to humans. So, I would prefer to take the spark and blow it into a raging flame, then watch it die; then look for the next spark, afterwards. That is how humans were meant to be, in my opinion. And that spark can last a year or two or three. Not like I'm talking about hookups. Though, I'd take those, too.

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  • Sorry but the constant spark option will fade in time. Then you are stuck with someone you cannot really be yourself with.

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    • That's what I think! But I don't know if I can tell someone I'm seeing that you know?

  • Constant sparks will burn me alive. :P

    Being able to be myself is the whole purpose of being in a long term relationship as far as I'm concerned.

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  • Doesn't make sense, I would put talking for hours under being yourself, and spark as intense fun and other stuff.

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  • Spark we get in once a while in all relationship but I preferprefer being 100% myself for living the way I want

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  • B all the way 😎

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  • I'm 100% myself either way.

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  • 100% myself

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What Girls Said 8

  • 100% yourself.
    Having a constant spark is great, don't get me wrong. However, it's truly exhausting plus doesn't leave much time/energy to actually be able to carry out any academic/career-related responsibilities.

    The best relationships are the ones where you can get a bit of both; being always 100 yourselves and accepting each other as is, then having the spark brought back when you're both free for a while, like on long weekends and such.
    Gives you something to look forward to with someone you love. ;)

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  • Finally, a poll that interests me!

    My finger hovered between the options for a while, I'll be honest.

    Spark means constant excitement. It also means never really being comfortable.

    Being comfortable means being yourself, but being too comfortable runs the risk of taking each other for granted.

    Naturally a mix of the two would be ideal.

    What it comes down to, though, is snuggle time in comfy clothes, down time on the couch watching reruns, and knowing he is as happy doing that as anything else. Give me comfortable.

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  • A spark is great, but it's not going to save a marriage that is falling apart due to different opinions. Sparks can fade. I feel like being able to be 100% yourself is more important than a spark.

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  • I would need a constant spark.

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    • Why? And how do you know that spark won't fade?

    • Show All
  • I voted B

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  • Voted B.

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  • 100% yourself.

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  • Can I have 50 50? Hahaha

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