I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and 4 months. The other night I found out he has a tinder. From what I saw in the messages he's been having this account since September 2015. Some conversations were casual, but in some he said that he would be down to meet up, and with some he said he would be down to hook up. I told him I found it, he told me he just made that account recently but then again the messages say something else. He said that the hook up message was sent by his friend and not him. He told me that he just did it so I can feel the same way he did when I hurt him in the past. He said that he's sorry and that he regrets it and that it didn't mean anything. He also told me he wanted me to find it. He told me his side but somethings just don't add up. I don't know what to do
The only believable part in his story is that he created the account so you could find it and be hurt the way he was for what ever it is you did to him.
.. but that's the only thing, so his odds don't look so good from where I'm standing. Instead of sorting this out with you he needs to stoop to stupid mind games like the little kid he really is.
However, it's not for me to decide what you do with him. A little talk won't hurt, if he's not man enough and tries to turn it into a joke, not only does it demonstrate his irresponsibility, but also proves that he's a kid.
Remember, he lied about several things regarding this tinder business and then goes on to tell you he's sorry and regrets it and yade yade yade. Who is to say, this isn't another lie?
Whether he actually did anything or not, what he told you his reasons were is extremely childish... if you're having problems and something is bothering him, he needs to talk to you about it, not plant messages for you to find to make you jealous or upset.. that's petty and immature. Not sure what you did in the past to hurt him, but if it was that bad and he's not over it, he should have left you.
Being on tinder to talk to new people is like watching a porn video to see if the plumber fixes the sink. It's a dating/hook up app and there is no reason why anyone in a relationship should be on it. Its a huge red flag. You could give him the benefit of the doubt I suppose, but its likely he was planning to cheat on you.
I don't believe him when he says that was his friend, seems to me that people use that excuse all the time hoping that their partner is naive to the fact that they may want more. What you do to others shouldn't necessarily be done right back to you.. However it's up to you whether you want to save this relationship and move forward. But it's going to take a lot of trust
Even if he did make it recently, I don't see why that would make it any better. Regardless, if I'm reading right, you did the same thing - or roughly the same thing - to him previously. So you either decide 'well, now we're even' and endeavour to trust each other in the future or you decide that you can't get over it and you break up.
Online accounts have always caused a issue in my relationship that's why we both agreed to close all social sites if he is being honest then he should have no problem giving up his email and password so u can check out what's really going on
The best way to know if it really is him is to see if the writing style matches his. I can tell instantly when someone else steals my friend's phone and starts texting. Certain people have certain ways of phrasing sentences.