Do you have to lie or be dishonest in order to succeed in the dating world?

the reason why I'm asking is because the dating world seems to force people to beat around bush... So bluntness/honesty is an instant fail.

Everyone seems to to be playing games and it's really frustrating... incredibly annoying actually. Also why are guys always being called out on this when every girl I've tried to date/been with played games the whole time.

I'm sort of sick this shit and really losing faith in the concept of relationship (more so because I've been deceived by girls I though were trustworthy)... I feel like I should just make myself as appealing as possible and if that means changing/pretending to be someone else than so be it...

But if I some how became miraculously more appealing to a larger number of women then why should I ever stay with one person when it's most likely doomed based on past experiences & current feelings?

  • Yes, you do sadly
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  • No, be yourself
    62% (13)50% (7)57% (20)Vote
  • It depends... there's things that you should share (your strengths) and things that can wait until later (or not at all because they might not actually be important).
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's very important to be yiurself. Believe it or not, no 2 women really want the exact same qualities, and if yo uh pretend to be someone you aren't, your true colors will eventually show/you can't be someone you aren't forever. If you outright lie and it comes out you will lose her trust also.

    That said, don't rush in with the list of everything that is "bad" about you! There is nothing quite like a first date with a guy who gives you this long list of everything he feels insecure about or the biggest things that scare women away! I understand why men do this (or any person really). Who eats to invest all the time and effort into dating if there is a deal breaker you are hiding? But the thing is, when we are getting to know you, we don't know the positives that counteract those flaws.

    If you become someone you aren't though then you may blow it with the woman who would've been the one to accept you for you. I can think of many examples where a friend of mine and I will have polar opposite qualities we are attracted to OR polar opposite views of the same action or trait.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree that "It depends". Be yourself but share your strengths at first. Don't go on a first date and talk about being "desperate for love". But don't wait for a year down the line to share those weaknesses.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Nope it's all about being charming.
    lovelace-media.imgix.net/.../...2-664e810dbf95.gif

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    • You should develop the skills to read body language and tell when a girl is just a lying cunt.

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    • I'm pretty sure that's what it is, I bet they sometimes yell a lot when you or a sibling does something that could get you hurt. Basically they're saying, "I'M SCARED!!" it wasn't mean to be taken personal it was about how they felt.

  • You can be honest without being blunt.
    You should be the best version of yourself you can be.
    Unless you have no redeeming qualities then be someone else.

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    • "Unless you have no redeeming qualities then be someone else." So reject who you are and lie through your teeth, gotcha.

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    • Yeah I have issues seeing sarcasm due to my mental disability, my bad.

    • Even if you said that face to face I wouldn't be able to tell if it's a joke.

  • Just be yourself. Do what you feel.

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  • PUA's say YES!!!

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    • What do you say?

    • No it's partially the reason why I have trust issues, I am so paranoid about being deceived since I can't figure out someone else's motive or intentions regarding me. I want real and honest, any hint of dishonesty, I'm out.

What Guys Said 7

  • lying and being dishonest is how you lose... Sure you might hook up with someone, but then you have to keep up the act... When you stop acting things degrade and you end up breaking up... Do you want to live a lie with the person that is closet to you?

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  • Depends on what kind of a person you are. Personally, I don't need to do any of that. If she has a problem with it, it's her problem.

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  • No, but you have to be relentless and sometimes ruthless.

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  • I'd say yes you usually do.

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  • You only have to cheat to 'win' if you aren't good enough to win any other way.

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  • Fuck dating and FUCK relationships... These are feminist arrangements that MUST be condemned!!!

    This isn't how male-female relationships have ever been. It's MUCH BETTER to be single than with a modern woman.

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    • Okay? But what is your sex life like living with that mindset... Weekly, monthly, yearly?

    • Men have always used whores. It was said that a town without brothels is like a house without toilets... remove the toilet and the whole house becomes a foul smelling place...

      Women's liberation has not only led to the abolishment of arranged marriages, but also the illegalization of brothels... or at least made whores (among richest 5% in the West) extremely expensive... So now men have to bend over backwards and do all this "dating" and "relationship" shit if we want to get sex. It's truly sick.

      Better to control oneself or watch porn/use hoes when the drive is uncontrollable. Sex has ALWAYS been shunned. It has NEVER been considered good to talk about sex anywhere outside the bedroom... it is considered indecent... Men have always been advised to try and control themselves as much as possible and stay away from women.

      Only a FEMINAZI would see getting sex as a way to put down & shame other men. This leads to the 2nd class status and oppression of men.

    • Women have always been shunned... and the men who control themselves the most have always been the most respected.

      Stop being such a feminist.

  • Don't be what she wants you to be, find someone who wants who you are

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