GUYS PLEASE HELP!!! How do I make this guy commit without nagging?

I'll keep it short and simple:
-He's been REALLY hurt in a past relationship (to the point of attempting suicide) as well as having members of his family betray or lie him in some way (major trust issues)
-He's said he needs time to heal and that he's not considering a relationship with anyone right now
-I've already nagged him on 3 of 4 occations of wanting a relationship and moving towards an emotional closness with him but he claims he "can't" and may not ever be able to
-We have been hanging out a lot since October and he says he really likes me and that I'm a close friend to him but can't tell me how he feels about me right now

I REALLY like him and REALLY want him to be with me!! HOW DO I MAKE HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME , FORGET HIS BITCHY EX-GIRLFRIEND WHORE AND MAKE HIM WANT TO COMMIT TO ME, WHO REALLY LIKES HIM FOR HIM AND WOULD NEVER HURT HIM?
Please help, I really think he is special and the one for me, is there anything I can do that doesn't put anymore pressure and nagging on him as I've already done? :'(


0|0
3|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • Would you ask him to walk if he had a broken leg?

    He's not over the ex. All you can do is be patient, and help him in ways that you can.

    To give you an idea of how long your wait is, the recovery time for a highly sensitive man is between 1 and 2 times as long as the relationship lasted. This means if he was with her for a year, you might have to wait up to 2 years for him to be ready again.

    1|0
    0|0
    • PLEASE tell me I don't have to wait 8 YEARS if his last relationship was 4 years? :( I can't wait that long!! I am totally willing to do anything and everything to help him but I am hoping it will take at most a year or so for him to realize that I'm much better than his ex (who obviously doesn't like him anyway if she dumped him) and for us to (hopefully) fall in love!

    • Show All
    • I see... is it healing though if he is admitting to still loving someone who betrayed you (if say this guy im seeing is doing this) when he should letting her go and moving on?

    • Well, if he's really as hurt as he says, then he shouldn't be with anyone.
      It isn't' fair to be with someone when you love someone else. People deserve better than that.

      But I treat people the best I can, not everyone does.

Most Helpful Girl

  • You can't. You've already tried like 3 times and he has said no every single time. If you push him, it'll most likely just turn him off from you completely and he'll start distancing himself. Don't act desperate. You can't force him to like you or want to commit to you. The best thing you can do is give him time and not pressure him. He knows how you feel and he'll come to you if he feels like committing. Don't hold your breath though, you might want to start looking for other guys since this might take a while. And there's no guarantee that he'll end up wanting to be with you. He might find someone else when the time comes.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • There is nothing you can do. I tried it all. So move on, before you get more invested, and get hurt more. It will surely get better, and his feelings can change later, so there's still a chance.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for helping-what do you mean you've tried it all? Please explain?

    • It was 3 years ago, I was just stuck on a person who was already in a relationship. Uh let's say, things went sideways.

    • Aw man :( well this guy isn't in a relationship! I'd never go for someone who was!!

  • I don't think he's into you. only way you can make him feel respect towards you is to stop proposing him and keeping a little distance with him. don't take his emotional baggage on your head or completely ignore him. be just a friend. don't make yourself too much available. find something that keeps you engaged and motivated. my friend, why do you want to compete with his ex? that's not gonna do anything good for you instead of making you more weak.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Why dont you think he's into me? He said he's not interested in anyone right now for a relationship and is questioning if he will ever be able to do emotions again because he been hurt bad. He said he's considered a relationship with me but is afraid of getting hurt and needs time. on the two occasions I've said i will leave if he can't give me the commitment i want he's managed to convince me to stay. i just get the feeling that maybe he might have some feelings for me but is confused about it.

    • if he said so, then there is hope. make sure that he doesn't see you as someone to ease off his tensions, worries and stuff. well a bit sacrifices are required in every relationship. but don't go desperate.

  • Brainwash him take him to a hypo therapist and have him act how you want him too.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 2

  • You don't. And from the way you talk, it sounds like you're the reason he won't commit. You're scaring him by being too clingy and demanding. You sound really needy and desperate, which is exactly what he doesn't want or need.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You can't make him be anything nor should you. Just be there when and if he's wants or needs you to be there for him. Stick with him but give him space, be there for him, be his backbone but dont overwhelm him or he will push u away. Its a delicate situation..

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...