I met a great guy who has awesome personality that we totally get eachother but his life is a wreck. We met to get to know eachother for dating and really clicked... now he really wants us to be very serious (he's even mentioned marriage down the road) but he just told me all the stuff that's happening and he's got a real mess (he's 36, no house.. he's temp living with family, no license... trying to get it back, no car, etc...). I'd be all for a serious relationship if I could see a longterm future with him because he is an amazing person but there are a lot of things that I know I can't live with (smoking, over drinking, money spending, etc) but I don't want him to change anything for/because of me. He says he's "fixing things" but I don't see any of them being "easy" or happening in near future and again don't want him to make these decisions or changes because of me...
How should I tell him I can't date him like this? Could we just be friends (nothing physical JUST FRIENDS) to see if he does "clean up"? How could I bring up I might be interested in the future without stringing him along?
Most Helpful Girl
Maybe just tell him, over text or over the phone if you're more comfortable with that. You have to first make sure that he knows you are not comfortable with what's going on in his life and take it from there because it's important that you two are on the same page.0