If a guy stops trying to hang out with you after you tell him you aren't ready to have sex yet, does that mean he only wanted you for sex?

I was dating a guy for 6 weeks and he's been trying to get me to sleep with him for the past 4. He finally asked me why I won't have sex and I told him I only have sex with guys I'm in a relationship with. He said he's not looking for a relationship now. That was a week ago and I haven't heard from him since, and he used to text me every day and try to hang out 3x a week.

Does this mean all the times he told me that he liked my personality were just a lie and he just wanted sex from me?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He might have genuinely liked your personality, but at the end of the day, he wasn't looking to be "just friends" with you under any circumstances. in my opinion, the majority of single guys don't want female friends - he knows he'll want sex, and that will make spending time with her frustrating for him, and there's just no point to that.

    He was looking for a casual sex relationship. If your relationship with him included casual sex, it might well have included a "friends" component as well - hanging out and doing things together. But when you told him that wasn't an option, then you had nothing to offer him that he wanted, because, again, he doesn't want "just friends" with you or ANY girl.

    It's absolutely fine to be against casual sex - most girls simply can't have casual sex without developing feelings and eventually getting those feelings hurt when he doesn't - but it also means that you have to accept that what you want is NOT the same thing that many/most guys (in their 20s especially) want, and you have to be PREPARED and OKAY when the guy tells you that he only wants casual sex - and you have to be able to move on without looking back.

    There ARE guys out there who DO want a relationship, and even some who want female friends, but, honestly, those guys are rare on the upper half of the "attractiveness scale" (because attractive guys can GET casual sex, and they know it), so you'll find most of them on the lower end of the scale. Some will just be shy or lack confidence, and some will be jerks or ugly or annoying, but most of them will realize that they aren't attractive enough to be choosy and will take what they can get.

    Also, guys tend to hit their late 20s or early 30s, and are finally ready for a real relationship, so you can look more towards those ages. Guys in their teens or early/mid 20s are in "party mode" or "work mode" and most don't have time or any interest in relationships - but they still want sex and will take it if they can get it with no strings attached.

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What Guys Said 11

  • You weren't putting out. He decided to move on. That's all. Maybe he would've give for a whole relationship if you banged him. Hell, maybe if the two of you were sexually compatible, you both could've gotten married. Maybe not.
    It's kind of absurd how much of a taboo you place sex for yourself.

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  • Yes, but sometimes, at least for me, I get caught up learning all these new things about her, and finding her attractive, and thinking about her, I forgot to stop and think how I really feel about her. I don't stop to examine what my intentions are either most the time.

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  • No. It doesn't mean that he was ONLY into you for sex at all. It just means that he's willing to risk getting stuck in sexual exclusivity with someone who isn't willing to satisfy his sexual needs.

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  • Hahaha really? He has been trying to have sex with you from the beginning and just told you he doesn't want a relationship with you.. I don't think anyone can be more clear that that.. Smh

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  • He could have genuinely liked your personality as well as just wanted sex with you... but he was probably just looking to get laid and said the thing you wanted to hear.

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  • No, it doesn't mean He is sex hungry animal. I have some friends that have that have sex as their pros and they always test her in bed, before starting something serious.

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  • Yes, it's obvious.

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  • it may not be that all he said about liking your personality is a lie. it mean he really wanted sex.

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  • He is the definition of a fuck boy

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  • I think the title answered your question

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  • yes, he wants sex... a relationship needs sex... I typically dump someone if there's no sex in 3 weeks or 3rd date.

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What Girls Said 7

  • He made it pretty clear in my opinion that he's interested in only sex and not actually being with you romantically. If a guy really likes you he'll make a effort to hang out and sex won't be something he'll pressure you with ever.

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  • He probably liked you but he was only looking for something casual, people do that very often these days... so did my boyfriend at first but after I cut everythino with him he actually came back after 2 months and told me he was ready for a relationship. I would suggest you to not contact him at all because if you do then he probably would think that you changed your mind

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  • yeah honey, it's called life

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  • he only wanted you for sex

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  • Of course!

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  • guys will say everything to have sex so yeah he was just talking shit coz he knows girls want to hear that stuff

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  • yes, that's obvious

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