I was dating a guy for 6 weeks and he's been trying to get me to sleep with him for the past 4. He finally asked me why I won't have sex and I told him I only have sex with guys I'm in a relationship with. He said he's not looking for a relationship now. That was a week ago and I haven't heard from him since, and he used to text me every day and try to hang out 3x a week.
Does this mean all the times he told me that he liked my personality were just a lie and he just wanted sex from me?
Most Helpful Guy
He might have genuinely liked your personality, but at the end of the day, he wasn't looking to be "just friends" with you under any circumstances. in my opinion, the majority of single guys don't want female friends - he knows he'll want sex, and that will make spending time with her frustrating for him, and there's just no point to that.
He was looking for a casual sex relationship. If your relationship with him included casual sex, it might well have included a "friends" component as well - hanging out and doing things together. But when you told him that wasn't an option, then you had nothing to offer him that he wanted, because, again, he doesn't want "just friends" with you or ANY girl.
It's absolutely fine to be against casual sex - most girls simply can't have casual sex without developing feelings and eventually getting those feelings hurt when he doesn't - but it also means that you have to accept that what you want is NOT the same thing that many/most guys (in their 20s especially) want, and you have to be PREPARED and OKAY when the guy tells you that he only wants casual sex - and you have to be able to move on without looking back.
There ARE guys out there who DO want a relationship, and even some who want female friends, but, honestly, those guys are rare on the upper half of the "attractiveness scale" (because attractive guys can GET casual sex, and they know it), so you'll find most of them on the lower end of the scale. Some will just be shy or lack confidence, and some will be jerks or ugly or annoying, but most of them will realize that they aren't attractive enough to be choosy and will take what they can get.
Also, guys tend to hit their late 20s or early 30s, and are finally ready for a real relationship, so you can look more towards those ages. Guys in their teens or early/mid 20s are in "party mode" or "work mode" and most don't have time or any interest in relationships - but they still want sex and will take it if they can get it with no strings attached.1