I can't find a girl that fits my standards (which I didn't think were that difficult), so I'm thinking about what the problem is.
-She has to be good looking (7/10+, I'm also pretty good looking so its not like I'm an ugly guy asking for this) -She has to be laid back and a nice girl, she can't be too b-tchy, sassy, high strung, or controlling. -She has to have passions (I dont care what it is, music, art, video games, whatever, but I can't stand women that dont like to do anything but watch TV) -She has to be my religion (Christian) -She either has to not care about politics, or be my political affiliation, I dont want to get in arguments with her about politics. -She has to be willing to move anywhere in the world with me (I'm super adventurous, and planning to move to Africa after graduation from college).
Other things that are pluses but not mandatory: cooking skills, musical ability, a good major that will get her a good job if necessary (STEM, Medicine, Finance/Accounting, etc), a love of kids.
What do you think? Are my standards too high? What should I get rid of to make it easier to find girls that fit my standards?
The best advise I was ever given was to make my "must have" list 3 things. Most successful long term couples say they picked their partner because they possessed the 2-3 most important things to them. Make sure there are not contradictions in your list (like a career driven woman who has traditional values (ie wants to be the home maker and have lots of kids) or what has already been pointed out to you-well educated career woman who is willing to drop everything and move with you)
While you can certainly have MORE than 2-3 things you want to look for, the longer your list gets, the more unlikely it is to find that woman (and the more likely you are to jump into a relationship with someone "close enough" who may not have the top 3 things you need from a woman).
I believe if you have a standard for any woman, you are already beginning to fuck up... or at least thats what they say... apparently women are the only ones that can have standards lol... jokes aside... the question i always ask anyone when they talk to me about standards is "Can YOU match those standards?" you can't want a 10+ when you are an 8 or 6. can't want laid back and ur high strung... can't want her to go anywhere for you but you won't go for her... etc. I say if your list is past 5... there's a tad bit of fantasy in there and you will die alone. in the relationship world my brother... the KEY to having a happy relationship with some is to enjoy their "positive" sides and ACCEPT their "negative" sides. All what you listed are Expectations. and im DAMN SURE you won't like it if someone did that to you... (eg... she wants a 9" dick and you are rocking a 6.5") not fair right? plus you sound controlling.
Are you all of these things? Would you move anywhere in the world with her? Are you well educated? See if you can mold yourself to the check list because unless you bring as much to the table you can't be here making lists.
and have you ever considered girls have their own life as well.. they're not robots that would do everything you say and move wherever you want them too.. just find a chick in Africa if you want to move there..
If you have a checklist, nobody is ever going to fulfill that checklist because nobody is 'perfect' and nobody fits into a list of things. It's okay to have a few things that are desirable or necessary. Like I couldn't ever date someone who hates animals - that's necessary. But it's one thing, not a whole checklist. It's better if you meet people, see if you like them and roll with it, rather than cutting down your options so finely to find this perfect person.
Have you ever tried online dating? If you like to travel why not meet people from all kinds of places online. If between the two of you distance isn't an issue then she might be shilling to move to Africa with you. But if she has a good job already then moving for her would be difficult and she would most likely refuse. Your never going to find the perfect girl but you can find someone that is just as good. Maybe try finding someone out of ur type and who knows maybe you will like her.
that isn't TOO demanding, you'll have a hard time finding someone to move with you to africa (people don't generally want to move to africa although it's great here :P ) a passionate, attractive, christian, non-argumentative woman isn't extra hard to find.
I am everything except political and I am a bit sassy, bitchy and high strung. It comes with the package. In the end women are women. You have to expect something thats not on that list to be there. So far it sounds pretty good tho
To be blunt. Yes. You shouldn't go around looking for the "perfect girl". Because one day if you find that girl, think about if she is looking for the perfect guy? You can't force someone to fit all of your standards. The most you can do is better yourself, so that when the time comes, you'll be the bet person you can be for your woman.
Not really you might still find a girl you will meet most of your expectation but not all, I have high standards as well even though my boyfriend won't probably meet all of them I still find him perfect for me.
I don't think your standards are to high. Aleast you have some and I think you have some good ones.
no. not at all. I live in stockholm for a long time and guys have higher demands on woman. let me list: - Must be taller than 5"9'' (yes. height requirement. silly ha?) - must be skinnier than normal. (like Candice Swanepoel. ugh) - must have longer legs, shorter torso (omg) - must have thin bones. - must have long neck.
haha your dream dude, you ll never have a girlfriend with this. In plus even if she's like that she would not go out with you cause your so boring and demanding
Well... I've spotted at least one contradiction. You want her to have a great career, but be able to move anywhere on a whim for you.
It kind of sounds like you're looking for someone to be just like you and give you all the things you want in life with no needs of her own. BUT, considering your youth, that's a fairly normal fantasy and not a sign anything's wrong with you. As you grow, learning the give-and-take dance becomes more of a habit.
Your standards are your standards, just be aware you're target audience.
7/10 = top 30%, Christian faith lowers that, moving to Africa lowers that even more. Factor in the pluses and you are really narrowing it down to like the top 2% of women. That means your competition is the top 2% of men, and at this point you only 'might' have your looks to go on, while the chances are that they have better looks, money, power and experience.
I have also very high standards for girls I date (these are basically interests in music, art and fashion), but still menage to find people to like through my friends, even though I don't live in Moscow or London, where all these types of girls are. in my opinion, you are a smart dude, who knows what he wants.