Why guys care hotness that much? Is appearence important?

There is a boy at econ class. I realized that we have same hobbies, same view of life. He is Nordic, a fan of kult horror films and Scandinavian myth. I stalked him at facebook for a long time. GOD we have same music tastes! Pearl Jam, Devil's Anvil, Fleetwood Mac. He is also obsessed with wolves and he is also playing Dota. I thought we are the same person. I decided to take the first step, we met. I called him home in the evening to play Dota.
Next day, I sat near him. I started to flirt even I couldnt get response. Then, he asked me if "my tall beautifull girl friend is single or not." I was dissapointed. Then I realized that he was hanging out with me to meet with her. Yes I admit, she is taller. And I read a question here, majority of guys said "yes attractiveness is important." I mean, really? I thought personality, soul must me more important than how long legs I have? isn't it superficial?

Updates:
ttp://www. girlsaskguys. com/qt/how-do-i-look/q1922708-how-important-is-it-for-guys-that-their-girls-are-hot
I am not fat, (not too slim eitler) I am fit. but short. 5"2.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Attractiveness is important to everyone... but not everyone has the same desires or standards.

    For example, I *specifically* prefer petite girls, so I'd have no problem with your height at all. My buddy specifically likes "Amazon" women - 6 foot tall or taller and thick/curvy is his type. The point being that every guy is different, but it's a good idea to figure out if there is some mutual attraction before you get too attached to someone. Girls are actually more likely than guys to "forgive" guys who don't meet their desired physical characteristics... but only IF the guy has a personality that really does it for her, and even then, it usually takes some time.

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    • in country where i live, nobody prefer petite girls :D but i mean, a girl must satisfy "every condition"? can you ask your buddy, would he date with a girl who is short but have super perfect personality?

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    • I guess I need to go to Sweden and collect some awesome petite Swedish girls and show them how much us Americans appreciate them! :)

    • YEES WE NEED YOU :D

What Guys Said 23

  • Well, attractiveness, hotness and appearance is important, no doubt about that. There is nothing wrong a guy giving importance to this factor. However if the guy is only giving importance to looks, appearance, hotness then that guy would be a shallow type of guy.

    Hence along with the physical appearance and attraction the person should give at least equal importance or more importance to the personality aspect also.

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  • Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I find athletic women more appealing than fat woman because natural lines and curves draw my eye. There's also a health risk associated with being fat.

    As for face, eh... I have the face of a troll, but my confidence level and general demeanor more than make up for it. Or so I've been told, lol! Regardless, ALL beauty fades with time.

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    • I am not fat, (not too slim eitler) I am fit. but short. 5"2. I mean, confidence level, personality must make up all physical appearences. it is important at first but when you see how perfect personality she have, then you dont care it, right? :D

    • Beauty draws the eye, personality draws the mind, and character draws the heart.

      This is how my father explained love to me as a kid.

      Beauty fades with time, personalities change over time, but character lasts for all time.

    • good.. i like it.. :D all guys must think like you. :D

  • Appearance matters to a certain point but it isn't everything needed for a lasting relationship. I'm pretty sure most people (men/women) care about how their partners look.

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    • it is baaaad. what's your advices? should i give up on dating? :D

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    • why all guys i have met love same thing?
      - tall, slim etc?

    • Because you keep going for guys who like tall slim etc.

      Pretty sure the majority of guys I've talked to like girls shorter than them... typically closer to average.

  • it is important, to a certain extent.

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  • First, you're getting hung up on the height component do his statement. You must realize that men don't traditionally value height, certainly not like women do; you'll find that men generally don't care.

    He probably finds her body and face beautiful. Work towards being physically beautiful yourself, as well as internally beautiful. That way, you'll ensure success.

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    • I am fit, I care my health but, a short girl without long legs can be attractive? nope. I mean, is it really important factor? I thought personality is most important. I thought guys must love me for who am I. Physical attractiveness is not important.

  • It's important to an extent to be physically attracted to your partner but it's not the most important thing.

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  • essentially, aren't you guys competing against the next female to stand out?

    look around you. fake hair, caked faces, clothes that lie about your butt and tits and waistline

    looks are very important too. why can't people accept everything is important.

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    • I want to reject it. I dont wear clothes that lie about my body. (I am fit i dont need it), I dont use fake hair... I am short but I dont wear heels because I dont have to be "ideal beauty". is there any guy who does not care how look I am?

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    • whats you're ethnicity?

    • swedish :D

  • Attractiveness is what draws people into getting to know someone personality is what keeps them interested

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    • what should fat or ugly or short girls do? :D

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    • naah i am not fat or ugly either.
      just short :/

    • Well I don't mind short girls / women what you. Have to remember is you always the same size lying down lol

  • Girls actually care more about a guy's "hotness" than guys caring about a girl's "hotness". Unless the guy is rich.

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    • Ummm.. I dont? :D Is there any guy who dont care how look I am?

  • It is not superficial to want to be physically attracted to your love interest!

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    • yeah. I mean.. what should i do?

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    • so I give up on dating.. :D

    • That's the wrong thing to do. You need to find people who'll find you attractive. I like 5'2", FWIW.

  • Attractiveness is important. Personality is important. Ideally, a person would be hooked up with someone who satisfies both. That's what i look for anyway

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    • but physical attributes does not define us and not everybody is lucky to born with model body. :/

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    • a short girl can be "fairly attractive" if she really put effort into her looks?

    • yes, especially short women. For most men, shorter is the preference. Its certainly the preference for me, but im not really a heightist so i dont care either way

  • Attractiveness matters for majority, sad but true. I personalliy dont date with girls under 170, does not matter how super personality you have. Dont blame me and call me superficial. I can't be together with someone I can not attrached.

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  • The more important question should be.. Are you both in the same MMR bracket?

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  • Well personally, intellect, and humor are usually more important to me, being attractive also plays a big role. If a girl can't look good and take care of herself then why bother?

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  • You can't bang personality

    Hot chick with bad personality > ugly chick with good lol

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    • all guys think like that? :/ i think i should give up guys :D

    • Probably if you can't get laid like that, do what u gotta do OP..

      Turn lesbian lol

    • logical.. :D

  • for me personality is more important than love.

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  • It has to do its genetics and the passing along of good genes. Would you date a midget?

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  • yeah it is more important for me

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  • well to a certain extent

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  • it's how it is... get over it.

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  • Maybe she is more appealing to him but he probably never knew you were interested. You should tell him how you feel. A sure thing is going to appeal to more people than a sexy maybe.

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  • It matters.

    Fit and 5'2" are positives.

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  • Sex is about glands, not intellect. There is a template in men and women's brains (though the one in women's brains is more complex and flexible) when something fits it there is attraction, if not, not.

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    • guys brain... :/ looks is priority?

What Girls Said 9

  • I feel you. I'm the girl that guys in the club used to talk to so they could meet my hot friends. Fuck that. I don't go clubbing no more. I've tried meeting people online so we have a connection first and that doesn't work either. I'm giving up on dating, people are too superficial - either gender tbh.

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    • clubs are worse, dating sites are worst. :/ I think I'm giving up on dating too :D

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    • i dont think i will meet someone who like short girls but maybe dont care it?

    • If you don't care even better :) not being able to meet someone makes me sad :/

  • It's not only guys that care about the attractiveness but so do girls. If we aren't physically attracted to the person we're seeing then we can end up cheating on that person with an attractive one, and why be with someone who we don't feel attracted to anyways?

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    • we are all superficial. I give up on dating. :/

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    • but you said "attractiveness matters for most" is there any guy who does not care looks?

    • attractiveness does not matters the most, the only time it matters the most for guys is when the only reason their with that person is for fucking. Personality matters the most for men and women for a relationship. If a lady may be the most gorgeous woman in the planet and turns out to be the dumbest person on earth, that is a huge turn off and she will probably be only good for fucking nothing else.

  • Yeah it is superficial but looks are what a guy first notices...

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    • d00d do all the girls in Ireland look like you lol

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    • I'd say keep looking for a guy that appreciates you for you, and thinks your absolutely stunning inside and out... you deserve it

    • @MyUsernameRules that's also very true... I just didn't add it in since she was asking about guys in particular

  • Actually, most guys I know have incredibly low standards when it comes to looks. This question is surprising to me.

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    • i live in sweden. guys here have such hiiigh standards.
      -must be at leat 5"9
      - must be skinny
      blablablabla

    • Whoever's standards involve only looks, or give looks such a high importance, is not a loss to you ^^ no worries!

  • Yeah, appearance is important. Most people wouldn't date someone they aren't physically attracted to.

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    • what should i do? :/ i have super good personality but short

  • Oh please, girls are just as shallow.

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  • A lot of guys seem to get really hung up on one or two features.

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  • If he is Nordic, dont even try him. Nordic guys only like amazon girls about their height. Unless you are taller than 5"9, you "out of target"

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  • Ah it seems you are DUFFed. (duff, designated ugly fat friend) google it.
    your prince charming used you to approach your hot friend. Yeah, he is an asshole.
    I can not say appearence is not important. Yes, it is important, even priority of guys. We can't blame them, it is evolutional. Beauty is what guys look for in a girl at first and certain extent attractiveness is neccesary. Dont panic, unless you are shorter than average or have troll face, you can be attractive too.
    - Are you fat? Lose weight. trust me it is not impossible.
    - Are you hairy? Go for epilation.
    - Do you smell bad? bath every day and buy good parfumes.
    - Do you have bad style? First, know you body type and then research for good styles. You can find fashion blogs everywhere!

    If you are short or have troll face... fell in love with your career or create a boyfriend robot.

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    • I am none of you write, but short. hahaha :D isn't there any solution? :D

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