How to get a guy that only wants sex?

So I've been seeing this guy for 4 weeks now, we've only had two dates, we made out on the second date, but didn't have sex and ai miht have told him I wouldn't have sex with until the 11th date. That scared him away, he still talks to me but seems disinterested. Well I want him to be interested again, i don't want to have sex with him just yet, I wouldn't make him wait for the 11th date, but I wanted to see hos reaction. He says sex is not the only thing he'a looking for but one of the things he's looking for. Should I just be real with him and say: "look, i really like you but i am not ready to have sex, if that's what you want great, but you're mot gona get it with me" or should I try to play his game? Which one would work better on getting him interested?


Most Helpful Girl

  • if you show him that being friends and having emotional connection is awesome then he will want to date you. That happened to me

    • Really? can you help me on how? I think I totally blew it yesterday... I texted him and said if sex is what he is looking for then we're not a good fit because he is not what I am looking for... Did I mess up? Is there any way to remediate the without going after him?

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    • Yeah, you're right, if he doesn't contact me then probably I should just move on. Thanks 🙁

    • and never run after him. Will make him avoid you


What Guys Said 2

  • Speaking as a former player, you went on and put limitations... or a kind of ultimatum. Let me put it bluntly... you are NEVER going to get anything serious out of this guy. you have lost every chance to have anything serious with this guy... and you did that with your own hand.
    ugh.. you women, in your attempts to try to get something to hold on to you end up destroying it.
    "no sex till marriage" "no sex till the 11th date"
    seriously? using sex as a weapon is a sure way of losing a guy's interest, its supposed to be something that just happens when you feel it... not something that is put on a timer or as some kind of quest.
    If i were this guy and you told me this... sure... i'll pull out the note pad and start crossing out each time we date... counting down... and as soon as we have sex... Sayonara. and best part, i'd be having sex with someone else too while i count down.
    cuz thats bullshit what you said/did.
    (lol... to be an even bigger douchebag, i ain't paying for shit on those dates... we are gonna spend time... only)

    • yeah it wasn't like that basically I wasn't ready and he wanted to, then he was like, so when are we actually doing it? I said it might not be on the 3rd not even on the 4rt not even on the 11th it depends on how I feel at that point, he kind of ignored all that and heard "no sex until the 11th date". yesterday I told him he's not what I am looking for trough text, but I regret it with all my heart, I was just so confused because I really do like him. How do you think i can remediate this without sounding desperate?

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    • do you necessarily have to "date"?

    • Well I am not going to be someone's "pass time". I ended up texting him yesterday. :( which he did reply.

  • I think you should walk away from this one. If you tell him you won't be with him just for sex then he'll just lie to you and tell you everything you want to hear

    • Oh! I told him he's not what i am looking for. And ai wanted to text and sy but we can be friends, because I dont want to close the door but I also dont want him to think i am one of those craxy girls who changes her mind all the time.

    • You can't be friends with him he only sees you as a conquest

What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should tell him the truth.