Girlfriend really close with guy friend, should I be worried?

I place a lot of trust into my girlfriend, but I get jealous very easily. 4 months into our relationship this guy came into the picture. A guy that she has been friends with for years, but she never mentioned him before. For the past 4 months I hear about him from her almost every time we hang out, I never see them texting personally but I know they text on a daily basis. She never gets texts from him when we are hanging out though. He has asked her to go up to a college for a party to drink and stay the night there, a college he doesn't attend. She declinded because she said I wouldn't like that but she facetimes him, and hangs out with him often. He has visited her at work and he lives about an hour and a half away. She doesn't face time me. Should I be worried or are my worries for not?

Updates:
She often refers to him as the boy version of herself

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Most Helpful Girl

  • yes.

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    • Care to elaborate on that a bit?

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    • but you're not her best (guy) friend. that would worry me.

    • I'm just trying to understand all of this. Because I'm sure she would be upset if I started talking to a girl friend of mine randomly all the time again mid relationship. What I don't understand is how she couldn't see it being bothersome to me

Most Helpful Guy

  • You definitely have every reason to be worried. I mean you said that she has been friends with him for years but she never mentioned that to you? I mean that's a little strange and now this guy comes into the picture and to me it really seems like he is asking too much of her time as a friend and that is clearly not a good sign at all and even your girlfriend's behavior is not very appropriate.

    I mean even though her guy friend seems to be asking much of her time, she doesn't really seem uncomfortable or she doesn't seem to be having any problems with it, yes she did decline him once, but that is only one time. However most of the times she seems to be very comfortable and the fact that she face times him more than she face times you is not at all a good sign. This I would say can be seen as a red flag.

    By the way your girlfriend and her guy friend are interacting, it looks to me like her guy friend sees her more than just friends and also the signs indicate the same. I am not saying that this has to be true, but I am just putting forward a possibility.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Nooo if you suspect something she will feel it so don't and you'll be fine

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  • one night stand is surely really near... you know

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  • You should be slightly worried

    Since you're college age most of these don't apply to me, but I have lots of guy friends and I mention them just as names to my boyfriend (18, goes to uni) often, and he doesn't mind even when I tell him that I might have crushes on a few of them.

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    • You have crushes on other people while dating someone? Jeez, classy.

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    • @Raythehowdtguy each to their own i guess, you have fun with your devoted relationship :)

    • @Raythehowdtguy the other day at school me and my friend were walking along and i pointed at a guy and went 'this guy's hot' and my friend went 'you have a boyfriend', and i went 'no, no, he's the hottEST.'
      so there :)

What Guys Said 6

  • TBF you're girlfriend should be thinking how you are feeling. I. e. switch the shoes and imagine if it was you facetiming and messaging another chick. And so many girls say they have guy friends that are like brothers or like best friends but that is a load of BS. I think most guys know how a guys mind works and put it this way, if you're girlfriend did make a move on this guy I don't think he would reject.

    Im personally not fond of these type of relationships. I feel that when a girl and a guy are together they shouldn't be extremely close with other men/women. The focus should be on you two

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  • She is lining up your replacement... Beware dude.
    LOYALTY doesn't mean jackshit to these women...
    The worst. you can do is to have a freak out and confront her about it..
    Just tell her u trust her and she won't cheat... The best way to see the things is to see how she acts around him...
    A woman's level of interest is judgesd when both the dudes are present... try to go out with her and him together

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    • I have yet to meet him and I've known about him for about 6 months now, she constantly tells me that she wants me to meet him but I have yet to

    • Meet him as early as possible... Dude don't wait..
      And watch her actions when she is with him.

  • fuck ! hell yes !
    look guys stay friends as long as the girl decides to, you are a guy and you agree on that otherwise you wouldn't be worring right now !
    did you see the guy or talking to at least? do you go out with him?
    look take my advice when ever you get in relationship with a girl search for what she calls "her best friend" or friends and go out with them and her together then keep in touch with them and have the "talk" with them, you don't want to be a dildo for lonely nights only ! and sorry for the impression but you need to wake up, and open your eyes wide open !!!

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  • Well are you hotter than him?

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    • I have no idea to be honest

  • "For the past 4 months I hear about him from her almost every time we hang out"
    ^^ That kind of shit is annoying

    If he invites her to a college party and he's just being friendly then he should've invited you as well cause I'm sure your girlfriend has told him about you... I HOPE.
    She did decline the invite so she clearly does respect you and wants the relationship.
    I would recommend you talk to her about how you feel.

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    • I mean is that something I should have to talk to her about? I mean lets be honest here, if that isn't common sense that it would annoy a partner than what is common sense? He knows about me yes but I gave up my bestfriends of opposite gender well not gave up but I don't really hang out with them or talk to them on a daily basis on the grounds of being respectful. And they all could see that and even told me that I was a good guy for that. To be honest if a girl friend of mine has a boyfriend I make sure to not go out of my way to talk to her. I'm just trying to understand this because I have never experienced this before, nor is it in my capacity of thought.

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    • I talk to her about everything, I just feel as though it is common sense in this area. Ya know?

    • I feel you, but she doesn't so...

  • If she is spending more time with him than you then you should be worried.

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    • She doesn't spend more time with her, but I am sure she talks to him almost as much as me.

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