Should I give up on trying to find a girlfriend?

I can't get a girlfriend to save my life. I get a girls number and she either blows me off or just randomly stops texting me. I don't know what to do anymore. I've tried online dating. Doesn't work. I've tried going to bars and clubs. Doesn't work. It just seems I'm not good enough. I'm really starting to think maybe I'm not meant to have anyone special. I've never had a girlfriend before and all I get is rejection. So should I give up? I honestly think I should.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You seem kind of desperate and most girls pick up on it. I know I do and trust me, nothing is more off-putting than a guy trying too hard and being needy. I know most guys probably don't realize it but it makes us lose interest in them even if they're good looking. So my advice would be to stop searching and just let it happen naturally. Go out with friends, go to the gym, join clubs, do any kind of activity that forces you to go out and meet new people. Get busy and sooner or later you're bound to meet someone with similar interests. It usually happens when you least expect it and when do don't expect something, you don't come across as desperate. So instead of asking out random girls (and lets' face it, that creates expectations) focus on yourself and the one you're looking for will hopefully come around.

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What Girls Said 2

  • yes, sounds like it's time you take a break in trying to find a girlfriend right now.
    Sounds like the only reason you'd want to find someone who accepts you is because you're seeking some sort of self-validation. Nobody deserves to be with someone who wants them for mainly that purpose.

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  • You know what they say, it happens when you least expect it. Just focus on yourself, meet new people without looking at every single girl as a potential girlfriend and eventually it may happen. You seem desperate. Desperation tends to push people away rather than towards you.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Anon,

    All the opinions here are spot-on and I understand the frustration.

    Still, let me give you some perspective here that took me YEARS to figure out.

    First, have you ever had a salesman try and pressure you to buy something? Maybe he asks a million questions, gives tons of details of why his product/service is the best, and he watches your face constantly to see your every reaction?

    Then, if you seem uninterested, he tries even harder to get you buy. It could be a car, a cell phone, or a cable/internet bundle, but has that happened you and do you remember how you felt?

    Well, if you remember being pressured to buy something, you also remember that it felt uncomfortable. It felt like one of those interaction where you think, "How do get out of this conversation? This SUCKS."

    Why did it suck? Because the sales guy was being desperate and needy. Same thing with trying too hard to "make something happen" with women. Women have a higher level of emotional intelligence than men and they almost always know when a guy is trying to "make something happen."

    Lesson? Get good at just talking to people (including women in general - even ones you don't want to date like rjoy3 said). This will help you learn what it feels like to interact with someone in a non-needy, non-desperate way. Do this enough and when you meet that girl who's attracted to you, you'll know that the most powerful approach with women is not to make something happen, but to LET things happen.

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  • Yes, you should give up on trying to get a girlfriend for the time being and start learning to be good with women in general. Because at this point, even if you did get a girlfriend it wouldn't be because she's just so amazing and you're great for eachother. It'd be because you're kind of desperate and you settled.

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    • Kind of sucks. But the moment you stop caring about getting a girlfriend or getting girls in general. That's exactly when you'll find a girl you hit it off with and start dating. Because girls feel that.

    • Show All
    • I can tell you I'm definitely not needy. In fact I hate needy and clingy people. Women just get nervous around me and when I'm trying to make an order at the coffee store or getting food at the market girls my age to around early 30s seem so nervous and get all quiet around me. When I make eye contact I see fear. Maybe I'm just that ugly...

    • @fueledbythc
      Lol, I'd have to see it. You might just be making them uncomfortable

  • You are doing something wrong. Einstein once said: doing the exact same thing the same way and expecting a different result is insane.

    Rethink your text/chat game

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  • I felt the very same my friend. I've been to the bars, tried to find girls through friends, even used apps, but unfortuently that brought me nothing. My luck actually changed a few weeks ago when I signed back up with Tinder. Yes I know... the dreded tinder lol I found this girl and have been hitting it off since. Maybe you need to change something about yourself? Put yourself out there. Don't be shy when finding girls there out there, maybe you just have to change up what you are doing. Good luck!

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  • Man I'm there too. I can't get a girlfriend to save my life. I don't know what to do. I'm not even an a$$hole that's just looking to get laid, I genuinely want a real relationship

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  • I know the feeling. But the decision it's entirely up to you. No one can guarantee you anything

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