Bros before ho... right decision?

So i have a friends circle of 5 friends including me, we go to this small resturant often and my friends friend works there, she is 19 and very pretty and cute easily an 8 or 8.5+ with makeup and nice clothes, she had a thing for me so i chatted her up online and the conversastion was flowing smoothly and i even expressed my desire to get to know her more and better, she seemed happy about it, two days later she stopped responding, after a little over a week ( yesterday) i told her to forget what i told her and that iam not interested anymore and i want her to be friends with my friends and not make it awkward... she was like "what? but why? what is it that i did i ont understand why you would say something like that?" i reassured her that its all good but iam not interested anymore and i want things to go back to normal so we had a normal converstaion.

The thing is i truly like her she is decent, hot, pretty and cute but the thing is... my friend who has been her friend for over a year has a huge crush on her and he confessed to a third friend that he's afraid i will take her from him cause i can easily do it... now she is not hoe thats for sure but i dont wanna lose a friend , especially a nice one so i decided to take a hit for the team, even though she sounded pretty happy to continue from where we stopped...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tricky situation. I understand wanting to step back because of your friend. But why didn't he step up first? Especially when he knew that you were interested too. He should've told you right then and there that he was crushing on her.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well it was nice of u.. buut.. if u guys had somthing u could do it... plus its first come first serve if he didn't act on it befor thats his fault..

    Bros befor hoes is like if i hav a girlfriend.. n she cheats on me with my friend... im not gunna fight my friend over it... becuase she's a hoe n she cheated on me... id still b friends wit that guy n well joke about it... but she's looked down on by bouth of us cuz she betrayed me.. u get it? This ofcourse if its a child hood friend if i jst met the guy.. theyre bouth getting beat up.

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    • yeah i get your point, this friend is really nice and sweet and he is not exactly good with girls but he's a great friend and we've been friends for over 6 years , so I don't know, i truly like her but iam confused atm.

    • Wel talk to him abiut it. N to make it fair.. who ever she chooses wins? Or u can jst watch him fuk her :$ eeeee that would b sad

    • yeah i gotta talk to him and make things clear for him , i mean he likes her but he has got to do something about it i can't just wait if he's not gonna do anything.

What Girls Said 4

  • You should explain to her that it's a conflict of interest and you feel uncomfortable going forward with things because you don't want your friend to get hurt. She is probably confused by what you said because she doesn't understand what is going through your mind with regard to your friend. I bet she'd appreciate an explanation if you feel comfortable enough to be honest :)

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  • I'll keep it simple. Yes. Respect guy code.
    You know your friend likes her more than you or you wouldn't be thinking so hard about it. If this was a girl that you TRULY liked, you'd want your best friend to do the same for you in this situation.

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    • here's why its tricky, been chatting to her for at least a month, iam not asshole so i asked my friend prior if he wants to date her or if he has any interest whatsoever in her (beyong friendship) he denied it and said i can do whatever i want.

    • and after a month of talking to her i found out he likes her.

    • Oh forget what I said. Do you man. In regards to your friend...
      A guy who's a afraid to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets.

  • Tell the girl you do like her but your friend was first and you respect the friendship more than your feelings for her. At least be honest with her.

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    • her is a good friend of hers and i dont wanna ruin it for him, i can tell her that but what i she doesn't like him? she obviously likes me big time, i've done in a week more than he has done in a year...

    • You don't have to say which friends, just "a close friend" is enough.

      You can also talk with the friend and ask for "permission". It's not like they're dating, it's just a one sided crush.

  • Ohhh thats hard I kinda have the same problem but with my girl friend and I haven't even told her that I liked him I even liked him before uggh but I like him sooo muchh

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What Guys Said 6

  • That's a shitty place to find yourself in no doubt about that. In all honesty if you knew your bro liked her you should have NEVER started talking this girl up. It was cruel to ever give her a hope then yank the rug out from under her hopes

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    • thats the thing i asked him if he loved her and he denied, i asked him if he wants her before i do anything and he said do whatever you want its all good... so i did, and halfaway through ( no one knows anything) my other friend was looking at the girl and telling me how our friend though i could easily get her if i wanted and he likes her... so its not like i knew from the begging he never admitted to being or wanting anything more than friends.

    • In all honesty you should pull dude off to his self and just say dude I'm not looking to make a threesome if you like this give come off with it and I'll move on , but if you honestly don't see being interested in her then say so

  • The thing is, she's got feelings for you, but not your friend! So it's tricky, admit to her that your friend likes her and you don't want to upset or ruin your relationship with him either. If she denies she likes him then... your choice from there buddy :)

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    • I've never told her anything about my feelings i did mention that she seemed pretty decent and i want to know her more and get to know her better she was happy as i mentioned in my question, but iam afraid if mention my friends feelings she will start feeling awkward about him liking her and will drift away from him and then he will blame me, its so fking tricky !

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    • But your friend should know he can't change how she feels, he should realise that, and if he doesn't he'll sooner or later realise it. Bros are bros for life, he'll forgive you. But also if that happens and he gets mad at you, realsie you're not in the wrong her. None of you are and it's more of a misunderstanding, both of you should know not to fall out over it.

    • @TrainwreckAdvice Haha I'm glad someone agrees! :P

  • ALWAYS. BROTHERHOOD COMES FIRST.

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  • Depends on the girl but personally, I don't hold friends really that close. They come and go. If they have a problem with my girl or they don't like what I'm doing, they can walk away and I would probably not even notice.

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  • I am proud of you man *sniff*

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  • She's not a hoe but I think you did the right thing. Bros always come first in situations like that.

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    • iam not sure anymore tbh i tried fixing things up by talking to her and i was like " just forget it , whatever i told you about getting to know you, just forget it iam not looking to ruin your friendships or relationship with other people " ... and i was expecting a mere "okay dont worry about it" but instead i got much more and it just feels a bit weird atm for me.

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