Just a question out of curiosity, if a guy is in a committed long-term relationship and say for example the girlfriend doesn't like his female friend (s) why is it so hard for the guy to cut his friendship off with them? If another girl is his prioritiy then why is he in a relationship? If he can't cut off the female friend because his s/o doesn't like her does this mean the female friend is his priority? I mean if you truly love someone shouldn't you do anything for them? Just a question. Shouldn't guy friends and his loved one be enough? Why does a guy need female friends for if he's in a long term relationship? May as well stay single if another girl is a priority in compared to you partner. Any thoughts here?
Most Helpful Guy
Because if someone really loved him, they would never ask that of him.
Asking someone to give up friends and social support networks is a manipulative thing to do that can do harm to your mental health over time.
The idea that 'if you love me, you'll do anything for me' is a romantic fairytale, but it is a form of psychological manipulation and it is a false path to walk. If someone loves you, they want you to be happy, and healthy, and have a good group of friends that you can do solo activities with. If they want to control you, control access to you, and place their own jealousy above your happiness, then they are not in love with you, they are in love with how you make them feel, which is a very different thing.
I mean, all you have to do to realize that 'if you love someone, you should do anything for them' is false is look at extreme examples. If you love someone, should you kill a child if they ask you to? No, obviously not. If you love someone, should you rob a bank and use the money to buy them a new car if they really want one? No, obviously not. If you love someone, should you cut off your limbs because they have a bit of an amputee fetish? No, obviously not. Someone that loves you would not ask those things of you. Your love would be simply being taken advantage of to do things that were bad for you, in order to appease someone that didn't truly love you. Getting rid of friends, while not as extreme, is still a similar thing - their jealousy and possessiveness is not a sign of love, it's a sign of infatuation and a sign that they love themselves and their own happiness more than your health and well-being. And that is not a good trade, which is why it's hard for guys to do it.3