Should I tell my boyfriend to try to cut down his smoking?

My boyfriend is a heavy smoker -- like about 15 cigarettes a day, sometimes a whole pack... He's 22, and has been smoking since he's 14, so it's been a while. Very often, people say that as his girlfriend, I should tell him to smoke less, or maybe even quit.

But the thing is I don't want to be a sanctimonious girlfriend -- I know very well that's what he disliked about his previous girlfriend, who reprimanded him all the time for his weird antics. He's quite crazy, and one of the strong aspects of our relationships is that we can be crazy and immature together :^) Also neither one of us has ever ordered the other one around yet "for their own good".

For his health I wish he would smoke less though... But as silly as it may be, he truly enjoys smoking, and I would feel bad about nagging him over something he truly likes. Everyone else nags him, should I join the party :^/ ?

Thanks for your advice!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmmm, let's picture this:
    You: Honey, I think you should cut back because it is bad for your health.
    BF: OMG. You mean smoking is not healthy? All this time, I thought it was good for me. Thank you baby. What have I done to deserve you!

    There is a warning on the pack, y'know.. and I am sure your boyfriend can read... and there is no shortage of idiots who like to babble about other people's health. If the smell bothers you, you have the right to speak to him about it. Otherwise, don't say a thing. I assume you knew he was a smoker before you met him, so deal with it. ( :

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    • nah, I don't mind the smell... It's just that others people started to make me feel irresponsible and uncaring because of it. But you're right, obviously he knows!!!

    • Fuck other people. They will always have something bad (or 'clever') to say. You sound mature and understanding, so hold on to those qualities and don't let the herd cloud your judgment. Yeah, and thanks for MHO. I am glad I was helpful. : D

What Guys Said 7

  • Smoking, like any other thing food included is a form of self medication, from an early trauma maybe just prior to he being 14. To tell him to cut down or quit is like telling a baby it can have it's milk or chew on something when it's teething. I'd try to understand the reason that he smokes in the first place, he might know then again he may just give the reason he thinks he knows. If he wants to quit often hypnosis has good results with that.

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  • You should ask him if he'd be interested in vaping instead.

    It's a new alternative to smoking that isn't nearly as lethal (f it is at all).

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  • He probably knows your feelings on it. Harping on about it will just make him defensive.

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  • The cigarettes tell him to cut Down on you.

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  • make him aware but don't nag.

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  • Yes tell him to stop

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  • You can try... don't know if it will work

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What Girls Said 6

  • Being you are a SO, the Best from the Rest is tell him Once Only here, dear, of What cigarettes can do to him and you hope in the future it doesn't happen to Him... Even give a Small Sample of an Example.
    My own dad was Told by his doctor over 4 years ago that he had a Serious lung disorder, and when he Then Quit Johnny on the Spot, although still alive but now on oxygen, it was the Doctor's Best Advice that Sad Dad did follow and no one Else's... Some of us need to find out the hard Way some Day.
    Good luck. xx

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  • I also have a boyfriend who smokes and he smokes more than yours.
    You have the right to tell him what you think and say that you would want him to quit but in the end it's his decision. It's not your role to make him quit or smoke less.
    To stop smoking, a person had to want to stop. It's hard to do and he has to do it on his own.
    My boyfriend knows I don't like it, I sometimes tell him when he does it a little to much and he tries to smoke a little less but I don't tell him to stop because it would he useless

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  • Don't nag him. But do let him know that you care for him and are concerned about his health and think it would be a good idea if he smoked less. Or you could do some roundabout way to get that to happen.. I didn't like it when my boyfriend smoked so I stopped kissing him whenever he did (he was only a social smoker though, so this might not work for you), and he eventually stopped. Just be careful how you come off, dont nag.

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  • I wouldn't do it, because I like smoking once In a while too

    if he would want to quit, I'd support his decision, if he doesn't... I wouldn't care

    but you... that's on you, what do YOU want?

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  • U shouldn't degrade him for smoking but encourage him not to. But if thats his one nich all relationships have compromises so i wouldn't make a huge deal of it.

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  • ... You want a "fun " dead boyfriend? didn't think so. ask him to start cutting down and open up a new door in the relationship

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