Really like my female friend however she is an abuse survivor been used by guys in the past an mentally unwell an keeps knocking me back?

she said she feels I'm putting pressure on her she's not ready for , she told me she's back in therapy soon and can't think of relationships right now , as she is struggling with panic attacks depression an getting through her past , however I won't give up and keep being persistent now I've had her friend say will you just back off she's not well , she needs to focus on herself , she has agoraphobia too , do you think I should just leave her alone or keep trying?


What Girls Said 2

  • In these situations you have to allow her to focus on herself. I mean Im pretty sure she's aware of your feelings and might come back to you later if she's interested in you and when she feels ready. If you don't have the patience to wait for her now then I don't think you will have the patience to deal with her in a relationship.

    • I understand but she's been like this nearly 4 years someone I used to know got involved with her after the abuse an she said destroyed her recovery so past two years she relasped. Shouldn't she be healed by now?

    • When it comes to victims of abuse, child molestation, or rape (etc.) people don't just heal as time go by. They will always be affected by what they went through. It could take 2 years to "get better" and it could take 10, even through therapy. But they will still be affected, that being major trust issues, difficulty to get vulnerable in bed with you (have sex), depression, so and so.

      I can understand where she's coming from when saying that getting into another relationship destroyed her recovery. She did do something that really isn't recommended to do. Getting into a relationship can slow down recovery immensely, and it can make it incredibly difficult to focus on oneself only, and I don't know what other drama went on when in a relationship but I assume it just tore her down for the worse.

      Honestly I recommend you not to keep trying to get into a relationship with her. She needs her time and she definitely do not have the time to deal with someone pushy (again).

  • She is telling you LOUD! and CLEAR to back off you're pressuring her YOU should know better after all you know what she has been through STOP being selfish and back up from her, she needs to deal with her own stuff, now you are being a leech and hounding her making her condition worse, leave her alone.


What Guys Said 1

  • You're not going to win her over that way, at all. Back off and let her heal.