I was only 22 at the time (now I'm 28) and not really ready, he was already almost 7 years older than me. It resulted in an break-up within a short time followed by not ever hearing from him again.
Fast-forward to weeks ago: I was dating someone (not my bf) and the topic about how some guy's marriage proposal got declined in a basketball game stadium came and my date thought the girl was mean to say no, how she could have accepted it but postpone it because it's according to him it's already hard when guys get rejected when asking out a girl he likes on a date so a rejection like that it's like rejecting him as a whole.
When I told him about what I did long ago, he also thought I should have accepted it and pospone it. This is the same thing one of my friends told me long ago. At the time, yes I did felt some guilt even if part of me feels I did nothing wrong.
But now I think it's right not to say yes if you really don't feel ready. So in your view, is it right to decline along with an explanation given as I did or should a girl spare his feeling and accept it but postpone it?
Most Helpful Guy
You must be really stupid to ask your girlfriend in marriage in front of an audience when you are not even sure she'll say yes. I actually find it disrespectful because you are putting undue pressure on her to accept because she doesn't want to humiliate you in public. If you do that, you deserve to be humiliated. You were right to decline. Your current boyfriend is being unfair.2
Most Helpful Girl
What the fuck? That dude is weird. No, you should not accept a proposal you don't want ever. You did the right thing saying no. It's so much worse to say yes and then change your answer later. Besides, if a guy asks a woman to marry him and she isn't ready, I really have no sympathy the him when she says no... a marriage proposal isn't something that should ever be sprung on someone when it hasn't already been talked about seriously, and it is definitely not something that should be done publicly if the person proposing isn't 100% sure the answer is yes and 100% sure the askee wants a public proposal. Springing something like that on someone who isn't ready for it is inconsiderate and selfish.1