Is ghosting really such a big deal?

Is ghosting really such a big deal? Not saying I don't think it's bad manners, and the only time I ghost someone is if they're harassing me and don't take no for answer, but on the list of dating frustrations I think ghosting is very low on the list.

When you like someone but they don't feel the same way it is disappointing, but does it really matter what the reason was? If someone doesn't go out with you again it's because they don't want to. No one ever forgot about a date they were excited about, if they did then they're lying about how excited they were. Even if they do give you a reason the reason is probably either a lie or something extremely vague like "we just didn't click", "there was no chemistry", or "I don't think this is working out".

in my opinion, I think this is just another extension of entitlement culture. The idea that you're entitled to someone's time just because you went on one date with them. When someone gets upset and demands you respond to them while you're at work just because you went on a date last week is a huge turn off and also a huge warning sign about their personality.

What do you guys think?

  • I agree, being ghosted is no more disappointing than someone telling you "they're busy".
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  • I disagree, I think being ghosted is way worse than telling someone you're not interested.
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it depends on the situation. How long you've been seeing each other and if you were intimate. After one or two dates with no intimacy then I think it is fine to just not respond anymore. However, if you have been hanging out for a month or more and intimate, you should talk about not seeing each other anymore. I am so frustrated when it happens to me, but I have done it to guys too, but with those above guidelines. One guy told me "karma" will suck for me, but it has happened to me so much more so I still owe "karma"!!! There was one guy that I was not intimate with but we hung out a lot, so I decided if I was going to end it, I couldn't ghost on him and would have to tell him. BUT, he ended up ghosting on me!! So that hurt since I decided that I would give him that respect. I feel like I am being ghosted on as we speak, I was intimate with him and it is crushing me. BUT, I look at it like this, if he told me he didn't want to see me anymore last week I would have been devastated at first then started accepting it. Since he is ghosting, I have spent this week wondering what is going on, but haven't seen him and by next week when I know for sure that he is ghosting, I already have had a week of not seeing him and preparing for the worst. So I feel like in the end the result is the same.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah it kinda is a big deal in my opinion. I don't know I like eschew people that don't have the balls to just communicate and be transparent soo yeah lol

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What Girls Said 5

  • I get what you're saying but you're missing the mark. I care about ghosting when we both have fun and both acknowledge that we had fun (which has happened) and then they ghost me. This is annoying because I'd rather have someone be straightforward with me and say they're not interested - because when we both had fun, I'm going to remember that and be confused when the actions and words don't match (and yes I know that actions are all that matters, but I believe that integrity in that sense is important)

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  • Yeah I'm a little on the fence, I mean obviously if you weren't interested you are probably not going to seek them out, but if they are trying to get ahold of you over and over again it makes sense to just let them know its not going to happen.

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  • Yes it is.

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  • Ghosting isn't a big deal after one date, but after months of talking it can be upsetting. And also worrying. Like "Things were totally fine. What if something bad happened? Hope he's okay..." You don't want to "cheat" on them but you also don't want to wait for someone who is never coming back. You need some information to go off of in that situation.

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  • It's bad.
    Doesn't give closure and the person is just left wondering "what did i do wrong".
    People should be upfront if they don't wanna date or talk to someone anymore.

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What Guys Said 0

The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

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