Now I have a niece who is 16, I love to bits and anything she wants she I get it and I try to be a good uncle because her parents are idiots I'm sorry to say. Even though she is a millennial and is living decently she has her electronic equipment and should be happy but isn't, she spends all day in her room just talking to her friends. Now I'm pretty liberal in my thinking and she talks to me about her wanting a black boyfriend and I'm fine with that (I'm her friend and favourite uncle), her parents are not but they don't tell her not to or anything, they're still pretty understanding, though it's hard for them to accept mainly because it's a huge culture shock and they're worried that their child will ditch them in future.
Now lately she's been a little too honest which is good but she makes hurtful comments which I honestly believe to be truthfully spoken out of her mouth. Sometimes I don't think she realises that she is hurting us by saying these things but, she's said such things like:
How she wishes she was black. How she thinks dark-skinned Asians (Indians/Pakistanis/Bangladeshis) are ugly and that she would rather be black but she's happy because she is very light skinned. She often talks about black peoples rights and race issues, (even though as an Asian, I believe we face it a lot worse nowadays from bothe white and black people because of all the media coverage.) And I think the boys she sought after are the more trendy ones and I even said to her that I hope you're not gonna have a black boyfriend because it makes you look good in front of your friends, because that seems to be the theme with her, we've caught her lying so we buy her stuff for school. I don't know how to talk to her about self-hate. I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I'm sure you would understand if you had a child with a similar behaviour.
Most Helpful Girl
tell your 16 year old neice to take a step back and analyze her self hatred. teach her about south Asian culture because she obviously sees it as something it's not, no one likes a person who doesn't have pride in their *actual* roots.
deep roots aren't withered by the frost, you should remind her that.1
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