Sleep apnea is ruining my relationship, what do I do?

Here is a brief synopsis. My boyfriend is an unemployed psychologist. He is Jewish and his mother died 3 years ago. He and his mother were extremely close. She moved across the state of Florida and purchased another home just live near him. After her death he went into deep depression, lost his job, and was placed on antidepressants. He started living off his savings. He then started looking for work but due to how saturated the small town he lives in is with highly educated people he hasn't been offered a position. He has only been seriously looking for 6 months. He is the best guy I have dated. Sweet, caring, loving, and has all the qualities of a good long term partner. He has been renting out 2 rooms in his house for extra income. he also teaches martial arts for extra money.

He comes from a upper class family. He has sleep apnea and it is driving me crazy. He snores so loud I can barely sleep next to him even with earplugs. He sleeps 16 hours a day. We live an hour and a half apart. I usually commute to his house because I am in the military, living on base. I reside in a studio style room. The two times I had him spend the weekend, I almost wanted to shoot myself because of the snoring. I couldn't watch TV in the day or sleep because he snores so loud. When I go to his houses, I usually end up on the couch because of the snoring.

I have talked to him about it but he can't get a cpap and get formally diagnosed until he secures a job and buys insurance. He is very accommodating by agreeing to make changes. He has tried nasal strips, mouth pieces, and etc but nothing has worked. This weekend is coming up and I find myself not wanting to go visit him because I am so tired of sleeping on the couch. I am also tired of him sleeping most the weekend. I love him and he's crazy about me, but sleep apnea is ruining our relationship. What do I do?


What Guys Said 2

  • What's his health, weight and diet like? It seems he's in a pretty bad way =/ 16 hours a day? Wow, is all I can say. With that lack of physical conditioning, it seems unlikely that he'd be able to hold down a job. It looks like he needs a holistic and multi-faceted approach, and an extremely strong will from him, to get him out of the hole he now finds himself in. Of course, it's all down to what you want. But I don't think it's realistic to expect change to be forthcoming any time soon. How long are you willing to wait? The sleep apnea thing sounds like a mere nub of his problems.

    • Well sleep apnea causes a person to feel tired even after a full nights sleep. I am thinking that's why he is so tired and sleeping so much. He held the same job for 15 years so I am not sure what has changed

    • He snorres and stops breathing for a few seconds. He has all the symptoms of sleep apnea. He really needs to be treated

  • Not much can be done till he gets treatment. In the mean time keep him as active as you can to prevent him sleeping. He sleeps because of depression. It's an impossibility to be depressed while physically active


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