I'm in love with my bestfriend and I need an outsiders perspective?

So long story as short and sweet as i can. I met him when we were 12 (we are not 21). I've been in love with him for as long as I can remember. We dated a little bit longer than a year in high school (when we were 15 till we were 16) We broke up but decided that our bond was to strong to go our separate ways. Since then he goes back and forth between seeing other men and hooking up and seeing other women. We fished Highschool we were eachothers prom date and we even won - " most likely to always be best friends" and "most likely to get married". Since then he moved away for 2 years and we were both in relationships (him more than me). When he tends to date people it never lasts more than 3/4 months. Anyways he moved back home 9 months ago and since then we are back to our inseparable selves. We text 24/7, and hang out 3-4 times a week or more schedule permitting. When we go out places people think we are a couple because we are ALWAYS flirting.
Anyways recently I've been very confused because when we hang out he makes a lot of sexual jokes with me (more than before) and it makes me unconformable because sometimes I just want to blurt out that I want to sleep with him. For example - we were in the book store and he picked up a sexstrology book and was reading our compatibility in bed and he was like "yeah that sounds about right". We have also been joking a lot latley about living together , and how if we are both single at 30 how we would get married because it would work out.
I just want him to be my man. But I don't know if he would consider dating me again based on past comments of not looking for anything serious right now. BUT hanging out with him kills me because I just want to hold his hand, kiss him and tell him how I feel. I feel like he is the "ONE"
Just looking for an outsiders perspective on this situation! Is he playing mindgames with me? Is there anything I can do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • wow... ummm the best you can do is make him feel the same way, you know him for quite a while right? you must know what he likes and what attracts him, use that knowledge and give him so hints. for that story i dont know if you are in the friendzone or not, you may because when a guy dates a girl that it was their friend and then broke up they do what happens in the story, they go back together but we sometimes try to resist going back together, maybe he fills the same way but doesn't want to hurt you or beleives the same way. so you have to broke that idea by being direct or by make him stop resisting

    • Thanks for your reply! I don't think I'm in the friend zone per say we both agree that "we are more than friends but less than lovers" at the moment and it has always been like that so we are in some sorta weird limbo. I'm just don't know if taliking to him is enough because we have talked about it a few times in the past and he always makes up excues - " I just got out of a relationship" or his fave one is " I know you are looking for a long term thing and I cannot commit to that now"

    • I dont feel he is a good guy for you, if he knows how you feel but just leaves you hanging then he doesn't care about how you feel and just likes having you liking him, i know its hard to leave someone who you really like but if he doesn't wanna commit after all that i dont think he is gonna change he's mind

Most Helpful Girl

  • Ouch! NOOO!


What Guys Said 1

  • You need to sit him down and tell him face to face exactly how you feel about him in direct terms leaving no room for misinterpretation

    • Thanks for your reply! I don't know how well he will take it we have had these conversations in the past and we always agree that we both have those feelings BUT he will make up excuses for not being with me ie. "I just got out of a relationship" " I only want short term flings" "I know you want something long term and I can't give that to you right now" . Things between us will be awkward for a day or two but then we go right back to the scenario above and flirt constantly and it physically hurts me that we can't be together

    • Tell him you can't be around him anymore if he doesn't feel the same

What Girls Said 1

  • Sounds like love masked by friendship. The best solution is to talk to him about how you feel in specially since you two are such good friends in can almost guarantee he will understand.

    • Thanks for the reply! What do you mean by love masked by friendship (just curious)? And we have had conversations in the past about this but it never ends up going anywhere there is quite a few excuses made from his behalf. But it's just getting to the point where I can't even imagine seeing other guys

    • He loves you but doesn't want to risk your friendship only time will tell as to what will happen from here