Should I heed this random guy's warning about a guy I'm talking to online?

So something really strange happened today. I've been talking to this dude online, we'll call him Stanley.

Stanley seemed like a nice guy when I first started talking to him. But it became clear something was up with him, but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Anyway, I kept talking to him thinking it was just nerves or something. Because when we would talk, he would trip up on things when he would talk to me. It was sometimes like he was confusing me with another person (you know what I mean?).

So we tried to make plans for a date. Well we made a few plans but stuff kept coming up with him. He said he had to work or something. Anyway, we stopped talking for a couple weeks and then we started talking again. He basically blamed me for not seeing me. Because he said he never knew when I was free (which is a lie, bc I told him often when I was free). Plus he always wanted to meet me last minute.

So today, this guy we will call Chad, messaged me online. He told me basically to be wary of Stanley. HE said Stanley is a smooth talker and lies a lot. He said Stanley was seeing his friend Clarrissa. Stanley told Clarrissa they were in a relationship and started sleeping together. Then Stanley left Clarrissa.

I asked Chad for more details about Stanley and the details seemed to fit what I know about Stanley.

Do you think I should believe Chad?

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

  • You should believe Chad, he seems to know what's up
    64% (7)67% (2)64% (9)Vote
  • I think you should see Stanley anyway, what does this strange Chad guy know?
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • I'm not sure
    18% (2)33% (1)21% (3)Vote
  • Other/will explain below
    18% (2)0% (0)15% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • Have you ever considered Stan and Chad are the same guy?

    • I actually did think about that. It seems odd though, what would be the point of this?

    • Show All
    • Possibly, I definitely considered that to be what could be happening. It just seems odd that there are so many people out there that need to pull such terrible games :( I just want to find love! :( Why is it so hard? I'm a really nice person and I am losing hope and becoming severely depressed over this stuff :( It's not good to toy with people's emotions.

    • I don't understand it either and I'm looking for love and marriage myself

Most Helpful Girl

  • Even if Chad didn't say anything I would just say that Stanley seems like a sketchball. How many times can something for work come up? If he really wanted to meet you he would have made some time or at least rescheduled to a time he KNEW he'd be free..

    • I totally agree! He cancelled the day of once, and then when I was busy texted me to say that he could see me now because they gave his shift to his friend. That seemed fishy to me, as if they already gave him the shift, why did they give it to his friend?

    • Show All
    • Oh my goodness, okay glad you dodged that one!

    • Oh for sure!

What Guys Said 1

  • You might aswell just believe chad better safe then sorry in my opinion


What Girls Said 1

  • First up... he has lied to you and you have caught him out on it. Do you want to spend the rest of your time knowing "Stanley" when you now cannot believe a word he says.

    Secondly, he has already tried to blame stuff on you for not meeting up... this is classic control tactics and another reason you should not go near him with a barge pole.

    I would be inclined to believe "Chad" as what he is saying fits in with some of Stanley's dodgy movements... I also think that Chad could also be an ex girlfriend of Stanleys, as not too many guys weigh in on that sort of stuff, where as ex girlfriends tend to warn future women.

    Good luck, but I say, run and don't look back!

    • I kind of feel like some of the things he is saying are wishy washy. Like he told me initially he wanted kids and to settle down. Then last week we were talking and he inferred he didn't want kids. So then I asked him directly, and he back tracked. It's kind of like he is just saying what he thinks I want to hear sometimes.

      I only agreed to meet him for this date because I've been online so long and haven't had any luck so far. Figured I might as well give him a chance. But after this whole freaky message, I really am not sure if I even want to go through with it anymore.

    • It does feel like he is saying what you want to hear in the beginning to get your attention, but now he has started to relax a bit and his real opinions are starting to show...

      The whole kids thing... yet another lie. If you want children, do not waste your time with a guy who doesn't. My best friend wasted 10 years of her life with a guy like that, and now she is 40, single with no children. I still say you walk and don't look back.

    • Oh for sure! I've stopped talking to this guy and cancelled our date. Something just didn't seem right about him and what this guy said only further supported what I was kind of already thinking.