Why do I attract these type of men?

I am a decent person, well educated and quiet. I am not slutty nor do I sleep around. The only guys I seem to meet are guys that want one thing (I know there are girls like that out there too). I really don't get it, I don't go to bars/clubs that often. Like I had a date w/a guy that just started to talk to me as I was walking home. I went w/him to a public place and as soon as he found out that I am not one to sleep around he rejected me right away (he actually wanted me to come to his place). Are there any decent guys out there? I am not naive or stupid, just very cautious.

Updates:
by the way I never go to a strangers house guy or girl.
He was not happy when I rejected the idea of going to his place.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • There are decent guys, I just don't think many people are mature right now. Most young people just want to have fun and then it hits them they are 30 and all alone. Time wasted money wasted with nothing. Lots of guys specifically just want sex because society tells them its what they should have before they settle down, which is foolish. They wanna tell their stupid friends about all the girls they've had while drinking beers and being a child. I m no longer like that, and want just one woman for the rest of my life, i'm good. Hope that answers your question, not all Cus the same (just 95% haha, and no you are not stupid). GOOD LUCK!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • There is a large and an ever-widening divide between people with the mindset that sex is only for marriage/very serious relationships and people who see it as a casual aspect of dating--or even an act that provides them with necessary information about the other person early on in the relationship from which they make their decision about whether or not to commit. Past a certain age especially, telling a man (or woman, for that matter) that you will not have sex with them until they have proved themselves over a long period of time or after an elaborate set of requirements have been met is generally a deal-breaker to the latter group. Do not think that there's something about you that's wrong or in need of correction before you can "attract a certain type of man". Just realize that the odds of being asked out by someone in the second group remain high, and you may need to actively seeking a very specific type of man (generally a religious one, but in case that's not the reason you put off the act, trust me when I say you can still find one even if they're less common. I've dated two atheist men who either didn't mind waiting or in one case preferred to take things even slower than I did.) Lastly, please don't judge men or women who have sex early in a relationship as being somehow any less decent than you. It may be frustrating to someone in your position to feel like you are incompatible with a lot of men because of the difference in your views on sex, but they are not bad men who don't care about all of the other great qualities you have just because sex remains high on their priority list. "Slutty" women have already figured this out and are often in happy, committed relationships with high quality men for it. If you still don't think there's any decent men out there, maybe reexamine your definition of "decent".

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What Guys Said 12

  • If you think that guys who want sex aren't decent, you'll never find a decent guy who wants a girlfriend. If he rejected you politely, I don't see what's not decent about him. You want what you want, he wants what he wants. What you both wanted did not align, that doesn't mean he is not decent.

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  • Of course there are, but they tend to be more reserved and approach less, so if you never approach guys all you're going to get are the players.

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  • Depends what you mean by rejected and also how you communicated that you don't "sleep around."

    Consider that he wasn't "only looking for one thing" and that you just turned him down. It tends to make me shut down when I fuck up or get declined or rejected in anyway, even when I'm mentally preparing myself for rejection.

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    • The last guy ended the date abruptly when I wouldn't go inside his place.

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    • We walking in the area, he invited me to a bar close to his place and my place.

    • Seems like a natural moment to end it on, albeit awkwardly. Depends on what you said.

  • Just because a guy is promiscuous doesn't mean he's not decent.

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  • Those guys are far more confident than the ones you're looking for.
    I suggest approaching guys yourself.

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  • Well here's a tip if a random dude approaches he's not thinking "maybe this random chick is my future wife ill ask her out" he wants pussy asap honestly if your looking for your best shot do the aporoaching yourself then you at least know he didn't intend of having sex with you from the first thing he ever said 2 u

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    • I'm not saying a relationship. but like a friend, meeting someone to hang out w/.

    • Same thing really but if you want a friend a librarys a good place to find a nice quiet person

  • Story of my life also. Guess what? It happens to men too. Woman want one thing from me also. Maybe we attract the wrong people, but their are still some good out there just rare.

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  • Me 🙌

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  • hey there :D

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  • Try visiting new places...

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  • there are. guys like what you want.

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  • I prefer a challenge and a girl that holds out for a bit.

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What Girls Said 7

  • There are, it took me forever to meet a few as unfortunately we live in an overly sexualized society where a lot of people want to fuck first and make a relationship later. You just have to stick to your guns confidently and you WILL eventually attract the right people.

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  • Because guys!

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  • Thats shit happens to me too. So many fuckboys, am gonna needed a longer sheet of paper. I seem to attract the wrong types.

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  • Men look for sex and find love, women look for love and find sex. I actually prefer to have sex with the guy after couple of dates to see if he is really interested. The right guy will contact you within few days and organise to see you again. And if he forses you into sex on the first meeting then hey we all get our fair share of as... les! Remember guys are not like us. Women under normal circumstances will only sleep with the guys they want to date. Single men are happy to sleep with all the girls they can if they dont see anyone they want to date. And yes few man would happily sleep with girls even being in happy relationship. That is nature.

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  • thing is honey... most men want that thing

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  • I had a guy who was so interested in me I was too shy to let him into my life, so I cut all contact and now I can't stop thinking about him. Its like I'm doing it more ugh. I will have to give in and unblock him Its driving bananas... he is a good guy after all and I regret and miss our chats. He made me feel good, I was wrong now that I've reflected on it

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  • I have the same problem! Unfortunately it seems like the norm now for people to expect you to sleep with them within 5 minutes of meeting them. The only thing you can do is to try and weed out these people.

    I've had guys tell me they are looking to settle down, but then after meeting all they want to do is talk about sex.

    I'm not a prude I very much enjoy sex. But to me a relationship is much more than just sex.

    There is nothing wrong with being cautious, it's a smart thing to do because you just never know. Especially when you are meeting guys online and don't know them.

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