My boyfriend and I are both shy and passive, should I make things happen or wait for him to act?

We have been dating for about two months now. A friend of my boyfriend told me that it was the first time she saw him actively pursuing someone, as he always dated confident, extroverted girls that took the lead in the relationship. She said he was like that even in his friendships, and that it was good for him, that it forced him to be more dynamic.

We originally got along because we were introverted in very similar ways. Once we warm up to each other, we get along wonderfully. Really. However, our shyness is sometimes problematic: we can stay mute for a good hour or two, or just avoid communication at crucial moments. This is even more of a problem since we're in a long distance relationship. We've had a couple silent phone calls :^p Right now he's back for 10 days, and it's been a month and a half since we've seen each other.

I have exams coming up, but managed to study enough to be free these three upcoming days. However, despite him knowing that, and even though we both said we would see each other "soon", neither one of us dares to make the first step and organize something... I feel like I've pushed enough, but what do I know, maybe he thinks so as well? Or maybe he wants to be alone?

Anyhow, what should I do? Should I just bear with it and take the initiative each time I would like something to happen? It's hard for me though, and it would make me feel pushy. Or should I wait for him to take action? In which case, worst case scenario, we may barely ever see each other?


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What Guys Said 1

  • From just the title one of you should make the first move, just smile and encourage him.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should be the one to take the initiative if he is so passive.

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