I won't say all of us, but at least most of us have been rejected. But while most of use can balance their number of rejections and acceptations, others just cannot "avoid being avoided".
Even though I have no problem socializing, what I'm always afraid to reveal is to say to a girl which I like what I feel toward her; hence, I can't say I'm the most rejected man of history, but, as far as things are going right now, the percentage is 100% rejection for this guy. If I'm not wrong, I guess that would make 12 rejections in total. With 8 of those girls I'm still in contact as a friend, though, I guess that's something, right? Yeah...
So, what it is that can always assure you the rejection? Is it your game? Is it your style? Is it your appearance? Who knows! What you know is that you can't live in your comfort zone forever, but you're always afraid to get hurt, to LOSE self-esteem.
Oh, come on! What's the worst that can happen? She/he will say no and you will move to the next person! It's not like she/he's going to beat you for having asked! Most people are very polite while jecting someone, they know it sucks!
Yes, MOST PEOPLE.
Why again I wanted to share this stupid thought, anyway? Ah, right... this has happened to me this morning.
Aaaaand after that she blocked me. How rude was to me for ask, uh? I am a nasty boy, am I not?
Now, of course rationally I'm just guessing this woman was just angry for something that has happened to her and she unleashed the Hulk (or at least, I hope this is the case), but still her words actually hurt me to death, and made me wonder if I actually did something wrong in the past or it is just that I'm not good looking enough. That could be, it's not the worst thing in the world. But taking such a bullet is not so easy, and it actually made me become a little self-conscious. That's why I said "I don't like to express my feelings." If I didn't I wouldn't have ever heard such horrible messages.
My personal experience is irrelevant, it is just an example for what I'm saying!
Most Helpful Girl
That fb conversation is way too harsh. I can't think of any decent human being to reject someone like that. You are a man and you have a right to ask girls out. I always keep incouraging guys around and now this shocker!! Keep doing what you doing we all have to deal with our fair shares of as... les.2
Most Helpful Guy
Yep, what she said was mean and hurtful. What attracted you to her? I have plenty of experience in rejection. There's little choice to keep going, to learn from the experience (not to keep doing the same thing, amend it slightly). The other alternative is to give up on life, which we're not considering a viable option. :)
A few things I will say. Don't date on the internet. It's bloody awful. People some times say nice things about my appearance, but I don't think I could score a date on those kind of sites. They just attract the worst kind of behaviour and the worst kind of insecurities, they're not focused towards quality at all. Personally I think I can do better than the average dating site woman who would likely reject me on those sites. But implied in internet dating is something else. And that's that you're not willing to strengthen and solidify yourself in the so called 'real world'. The only way to raise one's confidence (which as you correctly identify, is important in dating), is to do things of tangible meaning, that are bloody frightening as hell, but invaluable to one's self development. You do it to strengthen yourself, not to win yourself a woman, that would be the wrong motivation. One doesn't have to be confident in that situation, but brave. Put yourself in meaningfully scary situations, then you become extremely powerful and an all rounded individual if you're willing to face your weaknesses.
Secondly, just something I notice from the way you talk to these women. You're extremely passive and servile to these women, waiting on their every whim. That implies a lack of self esteem. Now, I'm not saying contrive some kind of 'bad boy' personality, that just represents repression, but use that knowledge as a tool for self development.
But yes, seriously, screw the net dating. It's not meaningful. And you just become a punching bag for all the worst elements out there. When you know you can make conversation with real life women (presuming you aren't), in natural situations, that's when you're making progress.1