Where to meet a good guy?

Why is it that the majority of the guys I bump into (either online or in person) are not looking for anything serious. Where do these other women find these guys that like to go out on real dates and enjoy time together... not just screw and run. So many interesting things to do in my city and yet I can't find a great guy to enjoy them with or get to know.

Sometimes I feel like walking up to a girl and being like "hey where did you get him from?".. you know like when a girl digs another girls outfit "hey I love your outfit where did you get that?"...

My girlfriends have the same problem as well. Is it something in the air? Is dating dead... what gives?

(no crude/silly responses please)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you are at your 30s and you started to notice that all the good men are either taken or gay.

    This is for good reasons. Imagine you were in your mid to late 20s and you noticed a decent guy. What are the chances that you would let him get away? That's right! The good guys got nabbed pretty quickly the moment they pop into the market and what you are left with are men living their extended childhood into their 30s. Don't worry because there are a lot of good guys just waiting to be found. They have some kind of social flaw that prevented them from being discovered so you will have to look a little harder.

    To find the good men who didn't get nabbed requires a little digging. These guys don't stand out of a crowd. They aren't noticeable. They are like ninjas and women tend to ignore them - that's why they are still available. They might have low to no social skills or some social flaw that prevented them from getting a partner. They might talk little and tend to be a little silent even on texts, facebook, social media and even on emails. Thus, these guys tend to have a close circle of friends and families in single digits. They are straight to the point when they want to talk or they fumble around a little but rarely leading the conversation around.

    Also, you have to identify 3-5 things you really want in your guy. These traits have to be concrete and you must be able to confirm them for certain. For example, honesty can not be confirmed for certain while financial stability is as you can spot a fake quickly. Another one would be ambition as people tend to talk big but failed at the 1st obstacle; Be driven is an easier trait to spot because these guys tend to be excited about what they do.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly, there is no secret place where the good guys grow. It's all about taking chances and making your desires and expectations known and doing so confidently. That'll weed out the players and bring in the guys who are seriously into it.

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What Guys Said 18

  • right here honey buns ;) you feel me dawg?

    media.giphy.com/.../giphy.gif

    real response though, you just gotta keep trying until you find someone who wants the same thing, you know its different for everyone. some people meet their match the first time, others don't meet their match until like the 10th, 15th, or even 20th person.

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    • Thank you kindly for your response... and the gif... made me laugh :)
      Its that "ehhhh babyyyy" face... haha

    • hahaa np. and good luck with the love life

  • Just because they just wanna have sex doesn't mean they aren't good men... they are good, but with different priorities.

    Just keep meeting men. There's no specific place where to find men interested in relationships, unless you go to like meetings specifically for that.
    Try to avoid meeting guys at clubs and bars, there's little chances of finding boyfriend material there.

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  • Try a paid dating site, if someone has to pay they usually take their dating more seriously.

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  • By getting out and making your self-known by delving into your line of work or by traveling and being happy, genuinely happy.

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    • There is so much I can do... I work in a public library specializing in teens, I travel on the transit, and aside from running errands and going to the gym... that's all I've got. I am not into clubs and my line of work only allows me to travel on occasion when another branch is short...

  • Church

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  • Omg sis! my thoughts exactly, except for the girls tho

    by the way your second paragraph Hahaha😂

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  • cause it's pointless to look for something serious randomly, you have to start slowly and then if you realize the relationship is meaningful and deep it naturally becomes something serious, but you can't force it, it's not a deal, you're not buyinga car..

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    • but what I am getting at is most of the guys that I have encountered or my girlfriends encounter their brains are going straight to when can we have sex. I work in a library. I was running a program. A man approached me started talking about how he was in town for the film festival and would love to get some insight on places he could go for dinner. We started talking on my break about where he was from... the role he was playing in the film that was being shown. We swapped contacts. About 6 hours later after his initial message that he was glad he met me, and he looks forward to hanging out... he says he has a picture he thinks I would like... and he sends me a dick pic... LIKE COME ON...

      Totally blindsided... didn't see this coming. And between myself and a good few female friends this happens. Either the dick pic, or asking when they can come over... just all kinds of BS.

      My thing is where are the guys that aren't like "That".

    • well i have no idea if sending dick pics is common or not, but thinking about sex it is, i mean, the fact we ask a date implies we feel attraction so obviously we have sexual desire, of course this doesn't mean being rude or too direct but attraction is obviously faster to reach than feelings. Still sex and relationships are not mutually exclusive, something may start as sex and develop to a very deep relationship, but it takes time, cause if you may just need to look to feel attraction, you need to know a person well to develop feelings

  • Why crave a relationship. There's no benefit to it at all. It releases oxytocin which fucks with your head.

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  • I'm in the exact same situation (expect with girls not guys) i'm open to something casual but i mainly want something long term and girls my age don't seem to want that

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  • The problem is these men aren't really desirable to women, because they're not as sexually exciting.

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  • depends where you live, me personally where I live, I don't date local girls. I prefer to go out of town its an adventure.

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  • They're sitting at home infront of their computers. They know when they're not wanted.

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  • I'm looking for something serious

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  • The place doesn't matter you need intuition about the guy. You neef to find out if he's a player or not.

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  • some of us guys are still looking for dating and relationships

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  • you know what they say. the shitflies go to shit. its always a two ways thing.

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  • We're out there. Women just seem to ignore us. You love confidence in a man and most good MEN don't show confidence unless its needed. Go for a shy guy once in awhile. Just because you're not attracted to him now, doesn't mean you never will be. Most successful marriages are between people who were friends fist and have known each other for a long time. Women seem to either want instant sparks, love and sexual attraction at first sight rather than work for it. That's why most divorces are by Women. Once they feel the spark is gone, they just want out without working for it.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Church!

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  • Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

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