Four months ago I met a guy online and we became friends. He lives in a different country. We both were dealing with our break ups. I was in a really bad state and he pulled me up, helped me get through my depression. We used to flirt a lot and that time he made me a promise not to fall in love with him, I think it was a joke. A few months ago he admitted he liked me but he didn't want a relationship. I was cool with it because I didn't have any feelings for him at that time.
Now I really like him but not sure if I should confess. Another thing is he suddenly stopped talking to me. It's been a week now. Mostly he wouldn't take that much time to message me. Last time we talked he said he was busy but I knew there was something wrong. After that no calls or texts. I want to tell him that I like him but there are lots of problems.
1. It's a long distance.
2. He already made me promise not to fall in love with him.
3. I got rejected by so many guys before that I don't have guts to tell him. And if he really liked me he would want a relationship right? 4. He once said he didn't want a relationship.
What should I do? Should I tell him or just forget about it and move on?
I think I should send a message like this: "Just want to tell something. I think I have developed some feelings for you. There I said it! I expect nothing in return. Just hope this wouldn't affect our good old friendship. Needed to open up so I did. Please don't judge or joke about it. Ignore if you want to."
So flirting online is fun and it may be one of the greater values of online because they other person seems perfect. But texting is not a relationship, it is a false sense of someone. you cannot trust or rely on that, do not bond. he's giving you some signals to stay away... you aren't listening.
If you want to say, I felt xyz about you, and I wish you the best... go ahead... and move on. but I'd move on.
p. s. it is not healthy, or at least be very careful, bonding to someone that was your crutch/savior. It is an unhealthy scenario. I know it feels good, but that needs to be someone else, your counselor, your God, your friend. But you don't want your boyfriend or husband to be your idol... they aren't worthy.
he doesn't want a relationship because of the long distant because almost all the time long distance doesn't work out. also maybe he's just busy or has some problems he's trying to sort out or maybe he's giving himself space from you because he's trying to move on. I say you should tell him you like him, because once its out in the open you would be able to have a proper conversation with you about it and then you could decide on whether you should try a long distance relationship or whether you need to move on.
You should probably tell him in a message him or send an email. It might help you clear the air even if it doesn't work out. Long distance relationships always lack physicalness. Not the end of the world or anything, just being so far away. I am sure he probably got rejected at some point too, so I wouldn't worry about that.
I guess by hom telling you not to fall for him, he simply was saying he isn't ready for a relationship. It makes sense, especially how both of you are just fresh out of one. He is smart, taking his own time.
Thats why he stopped talking to you for a week. He is trying to make it easier for you and him. He is trying to make you not fall for him.
I'd say just forget about it and move on. He stated he didn't want a relationship so even if you did tell him, it wouldn't go anywhere. The only thing that will come out of you telling him is him getting an ego boost I guess.
Why don't you make the entire inquiry longer you haven't said enough. Add about him tasks thing you on Friday but you not answer until next Wednesday or some other crock of crap. You talk too much you say too little. Leave the poor guy alone leave everybody alone go back in your hole and grow up