How do you get rid of the desire to date?

So I've never been good with relationships and rarely enjoy them. Majority of my time spent in romantic relationships is filled with frustration, anxiety, guilt, or wanderlust. Even sex is filled with disappointment and/or fear. I hate the small talk of texting. I hate having to remember minuscule details. I hate feeling responsible for other people's happiness while often getting nothing in return. It's all a huge negative experience for me. And I'm not a very negative person despite how this post sounds. In fact relationship stuff is pretty much the sole source of negativity in my life. I thought for years that all I need to do was find the right person or learn the right skills or just change my perception of it all but nothing seems to work and I've hit the point where I don't want it to work. Each time I try dating someone new the idea of 100% isolating myself from the rest of the world becomes more and more appealing and I hate that because I have a wonderful family and a lot of absolutely amazing friends but dating makes me hate people. It's just so much drama and confusion about things that barely even matter and I just want help removing myself from it all so I can just enjoy living with my friends and family. How can I stop craving relationships?


What Girls Said 2

  • Wow! While you hate many aspects the dating process and relationships, you admit to craving it, and maybe the craving is not a bad thing, a desire to connect which is actually normal. It is just seems you have not found a right fit or are you running into dating the same type of women? Are you really okay with being alone for the rest of your life? Or are you just giving up due to your experiences? The fact that you have family and friends, and ready to swear off relationships, but crave it, should tell you missing something. I hope you find something right for you and don't give up. I'm not sure there is a way to stop that craving, it is most likely there for a reason.

    • I'm 100% giving up due to past experiences... If the experiences were positive I wouldn't want to give it all up. Yes I believe i'd be okay being alone. I'm alone most of the time already and the only negative feelings I feel is when I'm reminded that I'm single. Which is why I want to get rid of the feeling. I don't believe there has to be a reason for something just because it exists. I mean tons of people crave things that aren't necessarily good for them. alcoholics, drug addicts, pedophiles. They all have unhealthy cravings. I personally believe that for whatever reason relationships don't work well for me and I want to get rid of the craving. I understand that you want to help me reconnect with some romantic side of myself but I don't want that. And if all you can do is continue to try and convince me to want what I already know I don't want than I'll save you the time and tell you we're just going to go back and forth you'll eventually give up and I'll feel exactly the same.

    • No, I hear you loud and clear now... When you put that way as a bad craving to get rid of, wow... I guess it is that bad. I truly do hope you find a way to get rid of it if that is your desire. I hate to see people giving up, but you have a right to feel how you feel and live life the way you want.

  • burn all your bridges and buy a dog


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