What needs to change in a nice, quiet guy to make him more appealing?

I feel as though my first impression makes me look boring. I feel like I come off as a guy who treat a girl wonderfully but not be that exciting. What needs to change to make me more appealing? I understand that girls say they want a nice guy who will treat them the best way possible (which is me) but why do they really want?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Honestly here's the thing that guys always miss: girls DO want a nice guy who treats them well, but in my experience (even with the guy I began seeing) the issue was more than he made everything about appealing to me and proving what a great guy he could be for me. You easily lose your personality in the "nice guy" bit and it can make you seem uninteresting or like you are either hiding your personality or are simply void of one. I had to ask a guy once to actually talk to me about himself and be more about himself instead of just constantly focusing solely on me. We want a partner who is an individual, not a person who is just there to serve us.

    Also, I know many women won't admit this but sometimes we want a few more traditionally "masculine" (I say loosely) traits, like being forward and a touch aggressive perhaps in opinions you're passionate about, or what have you.

    So honestly, all I can say is don't lose yourself in your partner and you should be fine.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Most of the girls want self confident boys. I think the right girl for you is not one of them. My boyfriend is also a bit shy but that's the way I like him. To show a girl that you're not boring you need to make jokes. First impressions are not everything but very important. I suggest you have a best friend that you are really laughing with and seeing with him.

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    • Unfortunately my best friend is a girl. Even though she is gay we tend to give off a couple vibe lol

  • nothing. Maybe his attitude!

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  • I prefer nice quiet guy personally... they are better listeners and overall better company than a narcissistic jerk. Girls like nice guys but they do like some spontaneous moments to counteract the kind boring personality with a kind spontaneous/romantic personalities. How to be spontaneous is the question you should be asking... and to that i say don't be afraid to pull her close sweep her off her feet, dance! You can't be a bore when you dance! Even the you aren't good at it. Girls also enjoy seeing guys doing stuff there into so if you are a gamer show her what you are like in the zone show her your competitive streak. And don't be afraid to try new things.

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  • Nothing.
    ie: Some people will like that, some won't.

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  • Not at all. I'd keep you all to myself. No refunds or exchanges is cook with me!

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  • I don't think you should change. I think you're boyfriend material, and when you find the right girl, she'll be your adventurous side.

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  • If you approached me, maybe I would go out with you. Approach women!

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What Guys Said 15

  • I think that we might already be appealing, but the girls won't come talk to us. Girls have a hard time communicating with people, much like shy guys have a hard time speaking to people. think the best thing to do is to do a group activity, like a sport, with mixed guys and girls, and sometimes you can get to know people.

    I also feel like we present an uninteresting persona. I feel like, if I were to go to a bar alone which I often do, but then do something like pull out a pad of blank paper and start making plans to make a new electric guitar that they might set of a bomb of conversation. but then maybe it wouldn't so I don't know. Sometimes when I go to bars alone, I don't dress very well for that, but sometimes I feel like the female workers look around and may speak if there was a reason. but that is likely just fantasy.

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  • Shy folks on average tend to be more sincere than the party animals. And in a world with the incessant ego-trip of tinder, a sincere, dependable low brow guy is appealing to pragmatic chicks. My suggestion: just be very confident about all your best qualities and abilities. Apart from that: I don't think your diffidence will be a significant deterrent to the quality of your love life as long as you take the effort to get to know someone. You'll meet the sort of chicks that'll appreciate your quiet confidence.

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  • How about your gay best friend be your 'wing-person'?

    If you said your comfortable around her go to the bar and dance and have fun. Girls will take notice. Then you and your friend scope out who has noticed you.

    If your super-shy like me she could even accompany you over to the ladies to introduce yourselves. Once you get over the shyness your friend can reveal if she wants she's gay ( or not ) and can step out from the conversation.

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  • First, I applaud your efforts for even asking such a question!

    vomzi.com/.../new-standing-ovation-gif-231.gif

    Next, a few background questions. What are you doing with your life right now?

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    • On a path to a career. And enjoying my passions and hobbies

    • Are you in school or are you already in a career?
      What might that career be?

      What are your hobbies?

    • What are your passions?

  • Look there's a difference between a nice guy who's genuinely got a decent heart and is a good person and some fake who has the right image and makes the right noises to fit in. The latter is repulsive to everybody. Women fuck about behind the latter's back because they can sense the insincerity. A real good person never gets treated badly off of men or women unless the men or women are total twats themselves

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  • Have more confidence
    Dress better

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  • be nice just not too nice, be confident as in girls are important but not the most important you can live without them, dont throw attention at them that is never good, also stop caring and look your best, to get girls you need to look good and act like you're some hot shot.

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  • They want someone who doesn't give them everything, but instead makes them work for it. Have you ever read a good book, or seen or heard a good story, you likely thought it was good because you didn't know how it would end. It's the same with women. If you know what's about to happen with someone, they become bland. Be spontaneous, be unpredictable (but don't do anything dumb).

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    • So that spontaneous and unpredictable nature is a part of me. How would I show that naturally? I just don't even know how I would start to make that something that people would see right away.

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    • Well the major issue I kknow I have is inability to flirt. Once someone flirts with me or at least I get a feeling that they are ok with it I'm fine. But other than that I'm just really friendly and people just keep emphasizing how "nice" I am.

    • Flirting is simply teasing. You can even make fun of a girl, as long as you say it politely, and not in a rude manner. That's not necessarily being a douche, it's just being friendly, because friends make fun of each other all the time, but they hardly ever have bad intentions. As long as you tease her, but she knows you aren't serious, she will laugh.

  • Be attractive.

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  • If they acted less like a nice guy and more like a banana then they'd have a peel.

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  • Well... are you boring?

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    • Not in the least. I enjoy socializing, and am willing try anything once. While I myself don't really care for smoking or drinking I don't mind being around it at all. I enjoy and am good at dancing and would enjoy doing things on the regular. I just Gove off a boring vibe I guess because I am quiet. People actually are very surprised when I tell them my hobbies.

    • Dang i see, well you gotta find a way to let people know who you are and what you are like.

      Im quiet too, but i got a funny and sarcastic side and people are surprised when they see this quiet serious looking guy having a great sense of humor

  • Girls like bad boys even if they say something different...

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  • Stop being quiet.

    I would recommend listening to rap music. Hear me out. In hip-hop the albums often begin with a long self aggrandizing intro where the rapper talks about how great he is and nobody else comes close blah blah blah etc. A lot of people will roll their eyes at this and not think much of it, but in that culture it's just the norm.

    Works the same way with girls, they value confidence a lot but cannot differentiate between actual confidence and rhetoric. So my advice is to either fake it till you make it, or if you have confidence already be sure to present it in a format they can easily recognize without much thought.

    Next time you walk into a room just start screaming "SUP LADIES YOUR PRINCE CHARMING IS HERE! NO AUTOGRAPHS PLEASE!" be as loud as you can, spread your arms wide, and never ever break character!

    Some girls will talk shit about you, but you'll notice when they do they'll be smiling a bit, and you'll find them looking at you more and more. Girls can't help themselves, they fall for this stuff all the time. You just have to get started and keep it up relentlessly. Basically tell them why you are perfect and why they should choose you over every other man that has ever existed. Only do this if you can perform without irony--American women won't get that type of humor. If you want to be the funny guy it has to be the right type of humor for them, not you.

    Best of luck sir!

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  • he needs to grow a set of fucking balls and act like a man.

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  • Women get bored very easily. I'm also one of these guys and honestly, you have to be everything you're not which is just not being you. So my opinion is if women don't like it, it's their loss. Be happy with the way you are and don't change who you are just for a woman.

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    • That's what I've told myself for a long time but it seems to be getting me nowhere. I'm always told by female friends that I would make a great boyfriend and could get a girlfriend easily but no one ever seems romanticly interested in me.

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    • "That's what I've told myself for a long time but it seems to be getting me nowhere. I'm always told by female friends that I would make a great boyfriend and could get a girlfriend easily but no one ever seems romanticly interested in me."
      You might be not see in the ones that are interested in you. Because that's what happened to my boyfriend before he came to talk to me. I was liking him for a while but he didn't talk to me before because he thought I would not be accepting it.

    • @girlwhothinkstoomuch This is why I always tell women to not be afraid to make the first move. And especially when it comes to guys like this because they are less likely to.

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