I've implicitly and explicitly turned down a lot of people who were into me because I just didn't find them attractive enough physically or didn't enjoy spending time with them enough. Is that morally acceptable or should I give more people a chance? I just don't see the point in dating people casually if I don't think they're exceptional because I probably would feel like I'm missing out later. Yet at the same time I'm kind of disappointed at being alone too. Is this shallow or wrong in any way? ( I don't even know why I'm making this... I guess I feel guilty sometimes about being like that )
It's fine or good
50% (16)35% (7)44% (23)Vote
It's shallow but not wrong
31% (10)25% (5)29% (15)Vote
It's wrong in some way
9% (3)10% (2)10% (5)Vote
It's neither but you should lower them for some other reason (explain)
It would be easy to say relax it up a bit and accept more people in, but what if that person that met all your standards walked in the door, would your standards really be all that high and lofty then? Only you know what you want and if you are willing to wait for that person to come along then by all means. However, I think when people say lower their standards, I don't feel that's really accurate because you can't help how you feel about someone and you can't fake that feeling either unless you want to waste time and energy. So if you happen to say suddenly be attracted to someone who doesn't look like the last 5 people you dated, maybe that's your mind making room for more possibility because no one is forcing you to say yes to someone you don't want to right?
You're fine. Nothing wrong with what you're doing. If you feel like it needs to change, you can always do that, but there's nothing immoral about preferences.
Sounds like you're asking if you should settle. That's up to you, but you're 25. You've got time before settling should be on your radar. Idealists will get heart-shaped eyes and say, "You should never settle!" None of those people are 40 year old former party girls, I guarantee it.
No, it's good to have high standards, in fact that says a lot about yourself, it shows that you value yourself and you know what you want and won't settle for anything less that what you deserve.
However having high standards means you will tend to be alone/single for a long time if not forever , that's because it will be difficult for you to find someone that appeals to you ( physically and personality).
Hence you should be prepared to bear the consequences of your own thinking.
Well, you will be shallow if you give importance to only physical looks and attractiveness of the other person as a factor to be in love/relationship.
You are not going to be shallow if :
1. You give less importance to looks but much more importance to personality factor. Say 6/10 on looks but 8/10 on personality.
2. You won't be shallow if you give equal importance to both physical looks as well personality. Say 8/10 on looks and maybe 9/10 for personality. Hence in this case both are high and you are giving importance to both, in this way you are ensuring yourself that you will be attracted to that person and at the same time you will also be in love with that person as well.
In a relationship both are important, both looks ( attractiveness) and personality.
Hence if you are giving importance to both, then you will be seen as someone is very sensible/intelligent.
Ain't noting wrong with high standards. The idea is to spend your whole life with that one special person you find, so of course it is understandable that you want to make sure the person is perfect (for you). However, just know that everyone has their down sides as well, and ain't nobody perfect in this world.
If you just feel like playing around and having relationship after another, just let the other person know that you are not in to deep relationship, and remember to lower your standards, because you know now that the person is not there forever.
I can understand why people try to set the bar high with standards and expectations. I am kind of the same way myself, best trying aiming high than low! If it becomes a problem, one does not have to abandon high standards, maybe just drop a notch or two to be in the right or more practical place. By the way, I voted it is neither, but should be lowered.