Unsure of feelings?

So I want to get to know this girl, but I don't know if I can like her in that way yet. Is it smart to just become friends and hang out with her in the summer and see where I stand? Or is that an issue?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yep, that's an issue. But whatever you do, always be honest with her upfront. Tell her you are not sure and that you would like to hang out some more and get to know her a bit more before jumping into anything. And then let her decide what she wants. Honestly this happened to me recently, but the guy wasn't really honest with me, he could've explained it better. He just said he is a mess right now and that he would like to keep hanging out. All I took from that was "I'm not into you but I want us to be just friends" so I bailed out. I said no thanks and walked away. I'm sure he didn't see that coming, but I did what I felt was right. If he maybe explained it better and said that he needs some time, I'd definitely give him time and accept to slow down and just hang out for now. But for the love of God, if you're not into me and you know you never will be, don't string me along.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Of course taking your time always leads to longer lasting relationships :)

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  • It's not an issue, it's a great idea. I always think it's a good to start with someone as friends, because it's a simple, harmless way to get to know them well and see if they are a good match for you before taking things any further. If you ask her to hang a lot one-on-one however, she will assume that you have a crush on her. So maybe it would be best to learn as much about her as possible through text first and if everything seems promising, then ask her to hang.

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    • Wow I did exactly what you just said to a guy I like bu thte guy kind of blew me off with no explanation to his odd text to me over a text while he was on a trip to Europe last summer last year. My idea was like you said hang out first as friends to get to know each other to see if he and I were good match and therefore take it from there, that did not help me at all I guess he assumed I liked him but he di dnot tell me he suspect I did, probably he thought I was going to fast in jus tone date we had and believed I wanted something with him quick which it was not my intention at all but he perceived as it was that way.

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    • @little_bird1 @kitty71
      So he should just not get to know her then? Speaking for myself, guys have shown interest in me before and have asked me to hang out, but then dropped off or pulled away. But so what? I'm not gonna let it ruin my life or get all absorbed wondering why he did that. I don't take it personally. And if he's totally up-front with her at the beginning, she might not even give him a chance, not wanting to waste her time.

    • Yep because shouldn't waste her time. By letting him lead on his terms you are practically dismissing your own dignity and self-esteem. Who the fuck needs time to figure out if they like you or not? If you want to be the doormat, by all means, be it. But I am 99% sure if she keeps just hanging out with him, he's gonna start seeing as just a friend. It doesn't matter WHY, it only matters WHAT. Seriously, people need to learn how to walk away because THAT'S how you don't let it affect/ruin your life.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you should become friends with her and in that way you may know where you stand.

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