How to stay friends with the guy I rejected?

Yesterday I rejected him, I told him as nice as I could that I can't be in a relationship with him. He's a great a guy and I felt really bad doing this but we're in the same group of friends and I really want to be ok. It would suck to end our friendship just because of this. He said it's ok but he seemed really hurt... What should I do to stay friends and to be really ok? Should I give him a few days of space or should I message him today? Casual talk, you know... And also, it's ok if I ask some of our friends how is he rn? I appreciate any advice. Xx


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From someone who has experience asking girls out. I'l tell you that it really depends on the guy whether you can be friends with him after that or not.

    It really depends on the guy and how he thinks. Usually, If he really really had a crush on you, then it's never a good idea to be friends with him because he will always have this little hope in him.

    If he had a slight crush on you or has a good way of thinking and moving on, then he might be okay with being friends after finding out that he doesn't have a chance with you and will forget about making a move on you.

    So it completely depends on him, just wait to see how he will be reacting. If he doesn't have a strong mind or doesn't know how to adapt and feels weird if he sees you again, he will try to avoid seeing you for a long time. If he just avoided for the first couple weeks then came back then he might just have needed some time for himself.

    Don't initiate with him, and don't ever even slightly flirt with him. One time i asked out a girl who i had a huge crush on (huge). She turned me down but didn't tell me anything to make things clearer for me. I apologized to her after a while and asked to stay friends and start a new page. She seemed happier and more comfortable but i kinda had hopes again and asked her out once again. That was back in my first days asking people out haha. We didn't see each other again afterwards and she avoided me big time. It killed me but thinking about it now i'm glad it happened because i would have kept being attached to her.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Why should you stay friends with the guy you rejected? I mean that's never a good thing to do. Moreover once you reject a guy then from the next moment or from the next day they will start to avoid you so it's highly unlikely that they would even talk to you.

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  • You can't.
    and if you rejected him then what is the point?
    I laugh every time I hear women think they can have men as friends.
    they can be friendly, but never ever friends.
    men are always going to want to fuck you or have you blow them.
    if they are single, and you offer, they will accept. that is not what friends do.
    so move along

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  • After he gets over it just treat him like you were treating him or just treat him like a freind. Give him a week or two then message and tell him that you still want to be freinds.

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  • Yes, give him some time. He may even need more than a few days. Maybe after a week or two, message him and tell him that you still want to be friends but only friends. I think you should be okay after that. However, it may also depend on if he fell really hard for you. If that's the case, he'll need a bit more time to the point where he may not think a friendship is even acceptable. In that case, I guess you won't be friends with him anymore. But give it a week or two before you message him again either way.

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  • how are friendships supposed to end?

    now he can move on w/ his life and befriend another girl. really no point in continuing to be friends if you're deadset it'll never progress into a relationship.

    if your counter is... "but he's a great guy, i want him as a friend. guys and girls can be strictly friends without anything more"

    not in this case. friends come and go.

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  • sorry to say... same happened to me in ( Jan 2012) it’s really painful I am still not able to overcome as she is married but I still not able to talk and thought to any girl like I talked and thought about her.. … so I would suggest you Don’t talk with him and don't message him at all . If you don’t love him don’t confuse him … because of your messages he could think that you have some space for him.. I know you are nice girl as you asked this ... give him time gap... and try to avoid … you can’t even think that how painful is this. You have done a good thing that you told him you are not thinking the same he thinks about you … rest is up to you.

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  • Give him some space. But the next time you see him, behave normally. He's probably hurt from the rejection and so will be wishing it never happened, so put it in the past and move on with it.

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  • Let him come to you when he's ready. He may or may not want you in his life now. Just like it wouldn't be fair for him to keep pushing for a relationship it's also not fair to push for friendship. So just let him sort it out.

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  • Show him you still wanna be his friend, then it's up to him to want it or not.

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  • Just let him be. Let him choose whether he wants to stay friends with you or not.

    If I were him, I wouldn't. I wouldn't want to stay friends with a girl I like, it would be suicide.

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  • You won't be friends with him! You perhaps want to be his friend but guess what... he DOESN'T WANT IT!

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  • Probably give him some space to process it, and be friendly when you do meet.

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  • Give him a few days of space and act like nothing ever happend.

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  • Lol you can't, that ship has sailed soon as he realized he was friend zoned.

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  • Just keep talking with im normally. Happend to me once and I'm still talking with her casually.

    But that's probably because I found a new one.

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  • You can't. What's the point? Leave him alone.

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  • This may sound crazy, but why do i get the sense from this that you actually do like this guy? Ni girl that didn't like a guy would care this much

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  • You would be the absolute last person who should be comforting him.

    Give him tons of space.

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  • he has friends. he doesn't need a cunning vagina that wants to keep him close as a backup. when a bitch rejects me i just move on, i dont go all platonic beta faggot with her... . she can find another man to be her period wiper, ego booster or cryshoulder.. .

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    • funny how offended you get when you get rejected. Not all girls are forced to date you you know. Every girl has different tastes, just like you have a taste in girls. Some girls will find you super attractive, and others will find you average. Don't just hate on them because they didn't find you attractive. The only way you should get offended and act like that is if she was a bytch about it when she rejected you and thats it. Otherwise you are just being a butthurt ignorant. Sorry for my language

    • @Battooot whiteknight fag you are so clueless that you didn't even get it. its the manipulative bitches that piss us off not the ones that reject us.

    • i'm a whiteknight alright :p

      and if you are talking about girls who intentionally lead you on then i agree with you

What Girls Said 2

  • I don't think he'd like to stay friends after he got rejected by you. Perhaps just leave him alone for a bit. If he texts you, great. If he doesn't, then don't text him. That's the tough thing about spilling your feelings to someone you are friends with. The friendship may not be the same after that. That's why I've never told my crush I like him, because I wouldn't like to lose him as a friend!! I wish you luck!

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  • Give him some time to heal. Also, if you are really interested in keeping him as a friend, introduce him to a hot female friend of yours who might be interested in him as well.

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    • That happened to me once. Funny thing is she then became jealous of me and her friend and did her best to break us up. It worked. And then she had the audacity to try to be with me.

    • @blueeyes81 Your friend sounds like an incredibly insecure person.

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