If a guy spends money on a girl and she dumps him in the end, should she pay him back?

Let say a man goes out on several dates with a girl and shelves out cash paying for these dates. The woman in question does not pay for anything but eventually hits him with "sorry. I'm just not feeling any chemistry" or some variation to signal rejection.

If a guy spends money on a girl and she dumps him in the end, should she pay him back ?
Should the woman compensate the man by giving him back the money he wasted on dates with her or no?

  • Pay the guy back
    29% (12)47% (34)40% (46)Vote
  • No it's fine the way it is
    71% (30)53% (39)60% (69)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He chose to spend all that money... money spent on dates fall under the gift rule - you can't ask for it back once it's given/spent.

    That said, it's not fucking cool to go on dates just to get a free meal or movie or whatever. I have known chicks who have done that. Buuuuut there are assholes of both genders and sometimes people get duped or taken advantage of - it's people's responsibility to learn from those experiences.

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What Guys Said 30

  • Should she pay him back?

    Well even if she can pay it back, I don't think any woman who dumped the guy would pay back the money the guy spent on her.

    However it was his choice to spend money for her. so it's not like there was a compulsion to pay.

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  • From a guys perspective... I think I am smart enough to know when I am being taken for a ride, so no! I don't think a girl has to pay me back if we were dating.

    However, one trick I have used in the pass when I was dating, was to forget my wallet in the car after the third date out. If she bawks at having to pay then it is adios amigo! If she has no issue, then I don't mind paying the next time.

    After all that could be something that could honestly happen?

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    • nice tip.

    • @106473 Thanks man, one of those things I thought would help to protect me from women that are out for a free ride. I have a accumulated a lot of things in my life and finding a woman that is not just into me for that fact was important to me.

  • The women who make excuses for why women shouldn't have to pay or who claim to believe in equality between the genders but then only apply the equality when it benefits them should. Also the ones who exploit men for free meals and such. Though how you would enforce that I have no idea.

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  • He decided to spend the money.

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  • Yes. So I hope that you pulled out a journal at the end of each date and recorded the amount he spent on you so that you could pay him back if it fell through. All women do that, you know.

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  • that's basicly like saying the point of paying is for you to give me sex and not to take somone out on a date.

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    • Well the reason i consider this because there are a lot of girls who use men for free meals even though they already know they have no romantic interest in them.

      "Toronto actress uses men for expensive meals and blogs about it"

      i.dailymail.co.uk/.../...100000578-280_634x467.jpg

    • that's dirty then. id ask for money back. or poop in her mail box at least

  • LOL , who's gonna be that cheap?
    Oh...60% of the guys

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  • Relationship are not Economy, there is no Algebra in it! The worst thing a woman could tell to a guy who offers to pay (or vice versa, but it is less common to happen) is "I don't accept you to pay because I don't wanna owe anything to you."
    THE WHOLE POINT OF OFFERING IS NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN EXCHANGE! If I go out with some friends, it is not uncommon that one of us will pay for everyone else's drink, and not because we are millionaire, hell yeah we are all broke, but it is because it is something nice that we like to do.
    So, no, she shouldn't ABSOLUTELY give him back money, 'cause that would be like saying to him "Hey, I know you're a jerk who just paid for my meals for get in my panties, so here are your money, we're even now!".

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  • No because he chose to pay for her even though he knew there was a chance it wouldn't work out

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  • It's his fault he spend that money on her, so he just gotta deal with it.

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  • It would be classy on her part to do that, and it would drive the point home, "No means No" and all that.

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  • I personally wouldn't make it to several dates if im paying for all of em. I don't think that really happens that often with people of normal income anyway, i think girls would be willing to go halves or pay half the time anyway so it's not an issue.

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    • I think it's pretty standard these days for the person who asked to pay for the first date or two but to take turns after than... if you've gone out with a girl 4 or 5 times and she hasn't once offered to pay that's a red flag.

  • no. money you spent on date is spent. it´s not a good you purchased you could turn back in or something.

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  • She used his love for her to get dinners. He should file charges of fraud against her if this was prolonged.

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  • If a guy would want that just would prove it that he wasn't worthy. Any way... IF he is rich doesn't matter... if he is poor he should spend money like that. If he is ok i just spent money trying to be happy so its on him. And if he wanted share that should have do it earlier ( today i fucked up my English so bad sorry)

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  • Fuck no

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  • You are your own problem if you spend a lot of money on a girl early on. If the girl always had to pay you back this would be an incentive for her to be dishonest, especially if she's poor.

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  • I said no, but it kind of depends on how much he has to spend and how much he spent. If he has very little and paid very much, she should have tried to help pay for some of it.

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  • Lol you don't get a refund on a date.
    Either split the bill or quit bitching.

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  • No, he chose to pay for those dates.

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  • Nah, he needs to keep it moving.

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  • If you're trying to pay him back. He won't accept it for sure

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  • No. Payback is not required.

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  • i'v seen this happen a lot and the man never gets paid back so really vote a would not even matter and vote b you have no choice

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  • sounds like she lead him on
    and if she did he has ALL right too punch her in the face

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  • just dont take half of my shit

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  • Sunk cost...

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  • Heck yes. It's time for real equality... not the feminist equality bullshit

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  • Depending on how much was spent, then maybe she should think about paying him back for a little bit of the sum

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  • No, dont have to

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What Girls Said 20

  • No, it's an investment, and not every investment will yield positive dividends/results. That's just how it works unfortunately. Now, the girl is bitch for letting it go multiple dates because I bet she already knew her feelings from before.. but I still don't think she's obligated to pay him back.

    For example, if you give your best friend a gift but then you guys have a fall out, are you going to ask for it back? No, you already gave it to them.

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  • I mean, what the fuck, tho?
    I'm sorry, but, is she retarded in the head?

    "Lack of chemistry" is something I can conclusively detect in a maximum of about, oh, like 8 seconds.
    If I were on a FIRST date with someone and that happened... um... why the hell would there be a 2nd or 3rd or Nth date?
    Do not get.
    #mindBlown

    I mean... srsly. Ain't got time for that. My time is valuable. My company, even more so.

    Not to mention, dealing with that epic awkwardness... HOW? How could she deal? ::mouth hanging open::

    All for some food?

    Srsly?

    Someone explain this to me, please, because... I just can't. Can't even.

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  • I guess that's up to the individuals conscience.

    I think I'd feel too guilty and offer him something for his kindness. I'd feel as though I'd taken advantage of his kindness even if not intentional. So I'd offer my share.

    Personally, if I'd been on a few dates with him, then he wouldn't have paid every time. If he paid the first time then I'd suggest I pay next time.

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  • Heck no! There was no contract or agreement in place, he did that of his own free will. In love and dating there are no guarantees so he is just going to have take the loss in money spent.

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  • If you offer and choose to pay for someone on a date, then it's basically a gamble. When you gamble, you win or lose. If you offer, it's essentially a gift, which you do not need to return.

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  • Huh? No. I am assuming that on that date you ate dinner just like she did. You watched a movie or enjoyed a baseball game or went hiking or skydiving or whatever. You enjoyed it as much as she did. So why would she pay you for that?

    As for that woman in Toronto, she should have "gold digger" forcibly tattooed on her forehead, because she is a low life giving the rest of us ladies a bad name.

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  • That would be ridiculous. As much as I'm all for equality and taking turns paying each time, if he decided to pay for all of the dates whilst they were going out that was his choice.
    People would be in a lot of debt if they had to start paying their ex's back for the dates that they chose to pay for.

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  • I would honestly feel disrespected but I would give his money back.

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  • This is one reason I don't like guys to pay for too much stuff cos of the assumption they are paying for you or sex. This would be the equivalent of giving someone a gift. When you end a relationship, at any stage, you do not return gifts. Well I hope so, otherwise I'm in a lot of debt. 😳

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  • That's stupid. A girl doesn't owe a guy anything once they break up. Plus I'm sure she's had sex with him so that's enough "compensation"

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  • Hell no. He should've saw the signs as early as date number one. I'd feel kinda bad for the guy but he's an idiot.

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  • I don't remember where, but there is a law that states that the girl must return part of the money spent to the guy if she dumps him after having dated certain time. Same applies to the guy, when the girl was the one who payed.

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  • No because he chose to do that.

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  • No, it was his choice/decision to spend his money (and time) on the girl.

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  • I would return a percentage of the amount spent.

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  • a relationship is not a financial transaction

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  • No, it's him who wanted to give her gift

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  • Option 3: let her not abuse his money

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  • No. If you take someone on a date, and pay for them, that should be out of your kindness to want to get to know that person. Not because you are sure they will want to date you.

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  • I believe it'd be very awkward to just pay him back, if you aren't interested you better walk away and that's it, you can't undo what was done already

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    • Let me ask you this, do you pay for dates frequently?

    • @alfonsosloan45 I simply don't go on dates anymore, but when I used to I used to pay half of the bill, unless the guy really insisted to pay

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