How can I get the guts to ask a guy out and how?

I have never successfully asked a guy out
out of fear of rejection.

how would one go about asking a guy out?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should be afraid. If you weren't afraid of rejection you'd be borderline a psychopath. People fear negative judgement. It's natural. It's what keeps society functioning. If you weren't afraid of asking these guys out then either you're experienced or you don't really care about their opinion of you. And since we know you're not that experienced and you DO care about their opinion then it makes sense that you should be nervous. But it's like jumping off a plane (I know bad example because most people haven't done this). When you jump off a plane for the first time you're actually strapped to someone more experienced. You don't really get to decide once your on the edge and they bend their knees you're falling and there's no going back. But you are freaking out the whole way up and when you're dangling over the edge of the plane you're most likely about to cry. On the way down you kinda chill out and realize well I'm up here now. If I die I die might as well enjoy these potential last few minutes. Attempting to start a relationship is the same way. You feel immense fear that escalates and peaks right at the moment your about to ask but right after you don't care. You think the rejections going to hurt but really it'll feel like a little prick. You'll say oh well in a sad voice, maybe eat some ice cream and move on. The anticipation doesn't match the actual outcomes. And when you don't pay attention to the process this happens every single time. But once you've done it enough you're body kinda understands that rejection is nothing more than a slight bummer and the prize of a relationship is totally worth that risk. It becomes like walking. When you start you're terrified of falling and you don't want to let go. But then you fall a few times and start walking without holding anything fast forward a couple years and your walking while kicking a ball or texting like its nothing. Learning new things is always scary but usually necessary.

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    • "If you weren't afraid of rejection, you'd be a borderline psychopath" Well, if you're a female, a male has to man up or he's a wimp!
      I am 19 years old and trust me, I've approached so many women in my life and many have rejected me but I don't care. One time, in the mall, a woman sat down (she was so freaking hot and I was so freaking horny) and I've approached her; we went to her place and had a one night stand! ( this was a few months ago). She said to me the next morning saying she wanted a relationship and I said to her "I'm busy with my school work, I'm still in college at the moment so I can't have a girlfriend right now" and it went from there. She never texted me back again! I was like "woo hoo!" I mean, it's pretty easy to initiate with women all you need is the moment to begin!

    • and courage!

    • she told me to get out! I was laughing as she threw my shit out the door. It was historical!

What Guys Said 14

  • I have only been asked out, twice, by a woman, and both times I didn't even know that she was liking me!! I knew both, and seen them around the campus, and watched them, liking what they were wearing, how they moved, their hair. One, I worked closely, with, in a class, and didn't think anything of how she just 'bumped' into me (Photography class, darkroom). To her, I guess, she was 'suggesting' her interest, but I'm 'Relationship Retarded' in that way, and she had to actually ask me out!! WOW!! YEAH!!!
    A lot of guys really like when girls ask them out!! Sometimes we aren't always paying attention, focused on school, or work, or whatever, but when she asks you! WOW!!
    Just do it!! Be all nervous, and crap, and terrified, and think that, because you will be anyway, and make it part of the invite!! Laugh it off, being nervous, because if he likes you, he will know how you feel, and appreciate the effort!!
    Most normal, non-conceited guys are ALWAYS nervous, and terrified, asking out the woman!! It's nice to be on the other side!!

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    • Yeah, we do but we'd rather do it ourselves because it's a masculine trait derives from us men!

    • @Stanley23 I don't think women are lesser, and why shouldn't it be NORMAL for them to ask guys out?

    • Well, we're men! Come on, it's ridiculous for a woman to ask a man out.

  • Practice on your friend, practice in front of a mirror.

    Read the book change your life in 7 days for some tips on how to boost your self confidence.

    Direct: "There is a fun restaurant, want to check it out with me sometime"?
    Indirect: "oh you like 80's rock as well. I wonder if there are any bands playing this weekend? Pause... if he takes the bait...
    Really direct: "You are such a nice guy, lets meet for coffee sometime, I know this fun place".

    p. s. rejection doesn't mean you are bad, it means they may not be mature, not available, not interested, etc..

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  • I don't think there is any standard way to go about this. You just have to be brave and be prepared for rejection that will make it easier for you.

    everydaylife.globalpost.com/...ople-out-33514.html

    Read the link, hopefully it helps

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  • Step one flirt a bit with him and see how he reacts.
    step two if your freinds or hangout a bit tease him about going on a date if he likes your flirting
    step three he should come to ask you out in a short while. If not just ask him if he wants to grab lunch sometime.

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  • Just go for it and start talking about movies you like and ask him what he likes and also sports and if you hit it off pop the magic question

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  • If I may make a suggestion. Start by asking out sure things. Imagine the scenario, along with counter-responses, how to react, etc. then ask someone who probably won't say no. Maybe a shyer guy that's still attractive. Be prepared to go on a date, that kind of thing.

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  • if there's one thing you should be impulsive about in life, it's approaching someone you're interested in. do it the second you want to. it's natural, and you're guaranteed to be yourself.

    coming back the next day w/ a plan and some prep is acting... and the times i've done this i have a 0% success rate.

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  • Usually it's my job

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  • I don't know its usually me who has to do the asking and talking

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  • When you're to. o scared to and you have the chance at the moment, ask yourself "will I regret not asking him later?"

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  • Have some balls... Man up... Oh wait..

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  • Don't! Just move on if he doesn't ask you out, period! You're not a man; a man has to initiate to you, not the ither way around!

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  • Honestly, just do it.

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  • love to help ya out

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What Girls Said 6

  • There's no way to ask a guy out without risking rejection.
    So you've got to weigh what is more important to you... whether you're willing to risk getting turned down, or be alone for an indefinite amount of time.

    I asked my boyfriend out, and it wasn't so bad. Just asked him to join me for coffee, mentioning that I wanted to talk and the rest is history. :)

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  • I've never had a guy ask me out and it was mainly because I was always the one asking them out first.
    Just believe that they are more insecure and nervous than you and the fact that you are just talking to them is a huge bonus for them- and then reel them in by saying:
    Dude know any good places to eat? Heck I'm so freaken hungry!

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  • Start by dropping hints, it's obviously scary everyone fears rejection, but guys usually go for it a lot more than girls... so lets learn from them, first make some inviting advancements like maintaining eye contact and smiling at him, then look away when he starts to smile back, sit close to him, get things for him, try touching legs and this may sound stupid but just randomly smile at another guy and see his reaction, if he responds positively to all the advancements and gets a little jealous at you smiling at the other guy, then congratulations he may also be interested take the dive, if he doesn't then... still try your luck, rejection is part of life anyway. good luck 😊

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  • Well first of all. You must be sure about whether you two communicate well with each other. If you're good friends. Just ask him to get sth to eat or drink and tell him its a date. Be playful. Be nice. Show him you like him. If that doesn't work out. He probably isn't the guy. Try again with someone else. That someone else could appreciate you for your advances :) :) basically spit it out. As long as you keep it in. You are going to be suffering so just tell him you wanna go out. :) hope this helped.

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  • Walk up to him, start a conversation. Once things are clicking ask him. "By the way I found this cool little _________ restaurant, wanna try it out with me..." Or something that easy.

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  • lol i got my boyfriend over text

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    • You're a kid! Things change when you're an adult!

    • Show All
    • @Stanley23 ya ya I saw it after I sent that text. And you sound like you are calling me stupid that's not very nice.

    • @Stanley23 I never said anything bad about you. So why are you saying bad shit about me?

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