How long into dating someone would you have the "what are we conversation"?

Simple - how long?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends how often you see eachother. How far and how fast things escalate. If you see eachother once a week, 2 months isn't really that long. If you see eachother 3-4 days a week and text daily. Had a sleep over or two, then 2 months is well more than enough time to ask.

    You just judge it by feel. There's no set number of days.

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What Guys Said 9

  • Depends on the person. It can be as early as a month, or may take several months. Too many factors and variables involved here.

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  • I feel like this question is something that is specific to the millennial generation, I am including myself in this grouping.

    Anyway, I digress.

    Before you have this conversation you should first realize that you wanting to ask this usually means one of two things; either you want to take it to the next level or you want to keep things as is.

    Meaning you have to take time with yourself and establish which side of the line you are on.

    This does two things:
    One, by taking some time to answer this question you will determine how you
    truly feel and why
    Two, when you have the "what are we conversation" and your partner doesn't see you eye to eye you can make a better decision about the next step.

    I agree with the responses saying you can't set a number of dates/months, trust your gut. Best of Luck

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  • I would say something after a couple of months or so, especially if you have been seeing them frequently.

    If you see them every other week then maybe a little longer.

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  • It soo depends, if he has balls he'll lead that conversation tho

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  • I had the what are we conversation with my girlfriend after like 2 weeks. Let's just say we moved really fast but it's worked out for a solid 2 years soooo, yeah!

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  • Exactly 4 months, 18 days and 3 hours.
    -Science school

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  • Like 2-3 months, depending on how often you see each other and stuff like that.

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  • 2 years

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  • never

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What Girls Said 19

  • I'd say... after a few months (3) you should be able to figure out if you want to be exclusive (boyfriend/girlfriend)... and then at least a year before you decide "I love you" is appropriate.

    It's important to define the relationship.. aka "what are we" within a few months so you are both on the same page, but the "I love you" takes more time. It's easy to think you love someone when you are in the beginning stages of a relationship, but REAL love that is worth pursuing and effort to last isn't based on your feelings... but your decision to CHOOSE that you care about that person's happiness and overall well-being even when you are mad at them or don't like them at the particular moment. Love is an action, not a feeling. Lust, interest, infatuation, adoration, like, etc... are all feelings associated with love, but not love itself.

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  • Entirely depends on the situation and how long you've known each other before dating. The longer you've known each other, the earlier (in general) you can talk about it in my opinion. Because at that point you can already figure out if you want to pursue it or not, whereas if you don't know each other too well, you might have to go on a few more dates to really figure each other out.
    I think it's a conversation you should have when it feels right. Maybe on the 3rd date, maybe on the 10th.

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  • probably like 3 months?

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  • Umm! Like 3 month I would be like wtf! hahaha

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  • Usually guys ask me after about a month or mention it. If they didn't I'd probably move on after about a month or two, if a guy isn't crazy about you enough to want you to be his girl after a month or two i'd move on.

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  • Like the first 3-6 months!!

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  • 6 months

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  • Upfront serial dater right here who NEVER wants that conversation and runs if other people instigate it.

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  • Depends on he people.
    When you feel like you're ready to take the relationship to the next level with that person you need to bring it up.
    I brought it up 5 months in.

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  • Like 2 months.

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  • before sex

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  • the first 5 minutes

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  • I would say about a month or two.

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  • Umm a month or so maybe

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  • maybe a month or 3 months. usually a month

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  • Six months.

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  • "What are we" I don't understand? Cultural thing?

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  • I don't know, maybe when you feel like you are more then just friends or something...

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  • 4 months
    But I learned that if I have to ask then he does not want a relationship

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