This girl I've been going out with has been extremely hot and cold recently and I don't know what to do?

I've been going out with this girl for a couple months. She has always taken a bit of time to respond, but recently it's gotten a lot worse. She'll take hours to respond, even though I see her on various social networking sites and apps all day. I've been trying my best to wait for her to respond to me. After hours of not hearing from her, she does occasionally text me asking what's up. I'll respond, and then it'll take hours to even respond to that. So she still wants to stay in contact because she'll still start some of the conversations. We also recently broke around a 70 day snapchat streak, she was posting all day to her story but wouldn't send any to me. I don't care about that really, it's more just the change in behavior... we had 70 straight days of exchanging snapchats, and then suddenly one day just nothing.

We don't live too close to each other which is a problem, and it's closing in on the end of the school year. But I don't know how to approach this without sounding needy, desperate or like a jerk? I haven't been able to see her too often in the last month, and I want to ask if there is a problem because she's been acting distant recently. What should I do?

Also, every time I see her, she drives to me (granted her family lives near me, so she has other reasons to drive too). But I don't want her to have to drive to me everytime we see each other, would it be weird for me to ask to come visit her? (I have yet to drive to her since she's been pretty busy)


What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if it is getting worse, like you say, maybe u should just take some time away from each other and meet new people.

  • Communicate with her about your concerns. Are you both very busy in life? I believe no matter what, you always make time to speak with your significant other at least for a bit each day. I hope it all goes well and you both work this out!

    • We are both pretty busy, I have work and she has school. We still do talk every day... but sometimes she just isn't all there, and since we mainly communicate via text, it's hard to tell how she's feeling. Because whenever we hang out it's great. We might be hanging out this weekend, so maybe I'll ask her then if things have been ok.

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    • Okay well now that you explained a little more of her, it seems like she still wants your attention so I don't think she has lost interest in you at all! Don't let past experiences cause you worry in your present relationship. It's good to learn from the past and keep your guard up when things feel a little off, but remember that this is a different girl you are with, not your ex. Either way ask her about it, but in the mean time don't stress too much over it :) it's only because of the past that you are feeling this way.

    • Thanks, yea hopefully. Things have been really busy for her, and I know that. It's just a little frustrating that she can't take 3 minutes out of her day to text me back. Granted she does at least apologize for taking so long to respond. It's just been difficult to carry on a conversation with her

What Guys Said 1

  • Hey man. I'm not an expert.. But I was once on a similar position as you are now.. And it seems to me that you're in her friendzone.
    If were you I would either try to spend some alone time with her and create the mood to go for a kiss (this way you will totally find out if she's into you), or, you can do the opposite (in case you think you're in the friendzone) which is backing off for a while. If she likes you she will miss you, and then may be easier for you to be with her and start with all the flirting..
    Hope that was helpful!

    • I highly doubt I'm friendzoned, we've already made out for a few hours haha. But yea... I've been friendzoned before and it sucks pretty much.

    • Well in that case she probably lost her interest/attraction for you..
      Anyway, good luck!

    • She apologized for taking so long to respond the other day, so I asked her if there was something wrong and she said no, she's jsut been insanely busy and is a bad texter and she knows that that is probably very annoying. And since then she has been texting me a lot more, i just don't think she realized it was stressing me out.