Guys, I told him how I felt... now what?

Okay, I'm going to try to make this short. I've been friends with a guy for a couple of years now. We fell out of touch for a while because he had a girlfriend who made him cut off all of his female friends. We reconnected last summer, have seen each other at least once a month ever since but the dynamic of our relationship has changed since then. It used to be strictly platonic, but now every time I see him it goes beyond that level. Without going into detail, we have not had sex but we kissed and heavily made out, and I caught feelings. I asked him where we stood with each other and he told me that we were friends (he's told me he's rejected several women friends who have tried to kiss him saying that he doesn't cross those lines with friends). I later heard through some of our mutual friends that there was another woman who was interested in him who seemed to be coming on stronger (this was what prompted me to ask him where we stood with each other). I wanted him to know how I felt but feared I would lose my shot, so I told him in a text (not the best method I know but I have a hard time reaching him on the phone and even harder time getting to see him in person since he is a first responder) that I was very attracted to him but at the same time was very happy to have him as a friend. We chatted amiably for quite awhile that day and the day after, but he didn't mention the attraction aspect. Now I'm really confused.

Does it sound like he lost interest when the other woman came along or does it sound like he is confused or got scared of ruining the friendship we have (I know the latter is highly unlikely as most guys could care less about ruining a friendship with a girl if they are really attracted to each other but I would like to believe that it could be a.1% chance lol) Should I have not told him? Thanks in advance.

I told him about a week ago if that bears any relevance.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think he is ready to be in a relationship right now.

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    • I don't think so either now that I think about it but at least I still have a friend :-)

What Guys Said 1

  • You actually ruin the other girl chance. Now you will be in back door of his mind, if they get together. Which usually results in breakup cuz guy lost interest and want other girl,
    Good work chick you just back stabbed that girl, its common. I have experienced it.

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    • Backstabbing: the action or practice of criticizing someone in a treacherous manner while feigning friendship.

      Actually I didn't back stab anyone. I didn't feign friendship with her. I've never even met hert or talked to her, only heard about her. You can't back stab someone you don't even know.

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    • I realize it wasn't sarcasm, but it's still not backstabbing because I don't know this chick. Besides which, who knows she possibly confessed her feelings first and he may choose her because of the fact, likewise since she doesn't know me it's still not backstabbing. Or he may not choose either one of us however, if he really wants to be with her, me telling him my feelings is not going to change that. I only confessed because I didn't want him to choose the other girl for the simple reason that I kept quiet about it and he didn't know how I felt. That has happened to me before and I do not want that to happen again.

      I know that's a painful situation and I'm really sorry it happened to you, but just because it happened in your situation doesn't mean that is going to happen here. Most guys typically aren't fickle like so many of us women are.

    • Adding this because there is no edit button. Also, he's not dating either one of us (that I know of) so he's still fair game. It's backstabbing if I knew he was dating her and still went for him.

What Girls Said 0

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