Are men scared of accomplished women?

Are men intimidated by accomplished women?
Guys that I have spoken to in the would always talk to me about what they've accomplished and the moment I talk about my own they kinda grow silent.
Makes me wonder?
Does it make men feel less Masculine when a woman is more ambitious and accomplished?
I don't brag about my accomplishments I actually present myself normally, always cracking jokes and laughing and being really nice and I usually praise the other person for their accomplishments.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Usually women who are "accomplished" have way higher standards and think too highly of themselves. I would love to date a woman with her shit together but I know she wouldn't want to date someone like me who doesn't have his all worked out yet (and she probably wouldn't have the patience to wait for me to figure it out - I'd still try to date her though but from past experiences... girls don't care if you're improving they want you to be successful already lol).

    Sure some guys have egos but the main problem is what that particular woman wants is unrealistic, there's a really good article I read last year written by this woman with an ego the size of the solar system completely dumbfounded by why she and her friends are failing in the dating world but little does she realize that her standards are too high and the way she described herself made her seem very unattractive/undesirable... and the commenters let her know pretty fast lol.

    here it is - www.forbes.com/.../#448d00e47801

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    • Yeah; honestly I'm very down to earth and don't have high standards; the standards matter to me whether or not the guy has a vision and an ambitious goal that he is working towards. For instance, if a guy is planning to become let's say, an architect or a college professor or engineer and he is still in school studying and working towards that then is fine with me. But if a man is being lazy and just saying he wants to do all of this stuff but ends up sitting on his ass all day watching TV then by all means I don't want that in my life.
      I've been with men who didn't have a set career or an education and most of the time I didn't work out simply because the men told me I should be with someone who is in school with me or as ambitious.
      I've been hurt and confused because I don't ever portray or act like I'm some big shot with huge standards; really I just want someone who's respectful, educated, and loves me. That's all.

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    • @skykidx1 I think that is wonderful! A person who is working towards a career that adds to the benefit of others is great. You may not bring home the biggest paycheque, but the world operates on more then just that!. I don't think we ever really get it together. ( no matter how put together it might look on the outside). There is always something more they we are striving for.

    • @Poppykate maybe your right.. but for now I just wanna be able to live by myself and drive around. So till then I gotta keep pushing

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm being really nice in my reply so please excuse whatever you consider abrasive. First, I think in general men want a passive partner a submissive partner so they feel superior, so they can feel superior. Unfortunately too many women fall into the trap of being submissive and when asked especially on websites such as this one, they claim they want to be passive or submissive or basically plainly stupid. That's the mold they think they are supposed to fit. So my answer to your question is yes men are scared of accomplishment when it applies to the opposite sex.
    These are not the kind of man you want to hang around. And you don't have to four if you place yourself in situations where guys are comfortable with themselves and their accomplishments you will not intimidate them. So my answer is in addition to my first response, you are hanging around the wrong kind of guys. And don't tell me you're not because obviously the response you getting proves my point. I'm going into my senior year of college and while I don't know everyplace in Manhattan or Rochester I can tell you that there are places in both cities where dumb guys go and they don't like seeing intelligent or accomplished women there. And there are places that attract accomplished women and accomplished men and those men are not intimidated by a woman who presents as confident or accomplished or intelligent. So if you find that the kind of men you seem to find are intimidated by you, then you need to move on. It's not you you are not the problem, rather it is the situation where the locale that needs to be changed. The most overt and black-and-white situation I can think of is if you're going for your masters degree in chemistry don't hang around a pool hall.

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What Guys Said 22

  • Scared or intimidated is always the wrong word for these kinds of instances. Vast majority of men are never afraid of women, regardless of the womens accomplishments/status or her looks.

    Even with taller women, vast majority of guys are just way way stronger than any woman and that male dominance trait we have just makes us feel like women cannot compete in the same way.

    However, i agree that many men will back off if a woman is known to be very ackomplished, in a higher position or if she starts bragging. And the reason is almost always because we dont want to bother talking with someone who is likely to have a huge ego (this is true if we meet a guy who is way more successful as well) But the difference i guess is that when talking to a man there is no risk of the guy assuming you are trying to hit on him, the woman might think we are interested in more if we talk to her, but if she talked to me first then i wouldn't have any issue responding, but most of us assume high achieving women have to much attitude so we just dont bother being social with them unless they approach first.

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    • I will add that very young guys might be intimidated of a goodlooking girl if he is interested in her and wants to ask her out, but in that case he is more scared of the high risk of getting rejected rather than the girl herself. But accomplishments makes little difference in those cases.

  • Simple.

    Women are hypergamous, as men well know. That is, women want the tallest, wealthiest, best educated, most high status man they can get. The Nurse and the Doctor. The Secretary and the Lawyer.

    Men know that if they date down, they will have a much easier time in dating. Such as, a 6ft tall guy dating a 5ft tall girl, or a office guy dating a waitress, or a somewhat handsome guy dating a chubby girl.

    If a woman has a high education, it doesn't matter if she's still paying off 50k for a degree that landed her a 30k a year job. It will puff her ego up, that she's got a masters or whatever. It will detract from how she looks at a man. And frankly, your degree just doesn't do it for us, even as we know it removes how awesome we might look. So we don't want to bother.

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  • They may not be turned off by success. It may be the bragging (or passive bragging). So many girls say "I'm not bragging but..." and then they immediately just start bragging since literally no one was asking about their accomplishments. THAT is a turn off.

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  • personally i have never meet anyone in person who was like you described so i dont know how i would react to them. in general no matter who they are i try to treat everyone with dignity and respect. since i have never actually meet a women like that i think i would be interested in getting to now her better. even if it was just for friendship.
    off the record with your age if i did try to be friends with you my wife would probable beat the crap out of me. she is the jealous type.

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    • Ha-ha aww so we can't be friends? ;)

    • personally i would like it but when it comes to being friends with a female i usually try to avoid them. because every time im nice to a female other than my wife, it only causes problems. she has gotten better about it over time when i say please and thank you to a waitress or to a female cashier but you can sometimes still see the look on her face.
      So any female friendship i have is in works only on here

  • Yes I do , men like to impress women and feel appreciated and looked upon fondly. If I wasn't that interesting I would feel I'm not in her league haha but maybe my question can kind of give u a better in sight to the male mindset. www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1978336-girl-who-showed-signs-blocked-me

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  • Prejudiced men are not always accomplished. I wouldn't mind if the chick I like is much more accomplished than me... But yeah, accomplished women have massive egos, which you won't find in accomplished men all the time. And I have no illusions that women want their partners to be less successful than them. To prevent this situation from arising, I have this principle, I never persue women out of my current league... And if I'm way ahead of the chick I date, I usually break up and try scoring with someone superior.

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  • Guys on here yea lmao they are intimidated by tall chicks, hot chicks, big boobs and various shit lmao

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    • I'm short with big boobs but I don't think that intimidates men.
      I think what intimates men is really when I open my mouth and they realize I have a brain. Lol

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    • So you don't brag?
      I'd imagine that on a first date you'd brag about how accomplished you were in working out/muscle building... would you not? Same concept.

    • Nope lol I'd be busy taking her in boner town baha. I am very very easy laid bak guy but yea if we talk more I'd brag about how I am going pro at NFL and every other shit lmao

  • I can't really speak for other guys, but I'm not.

    I'll admit I probably would be if said accomplishments were at the gym (bench pressing more than me for instance), but apart from that I wouldn't be. I don't get the issue with a girl making more money than a guy.

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  • Some are, some aren't. Personally I love ambitious and successful women but I think where these women often go wrong is that they only look for men who are even more successful and ambitious than them, even ignoring men who are equally successful and ambitious, then they complain they can't find a man...

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  • No, why would we? The more accomplished she is, the better for both of us.

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  • A guy that conquers life needs a girl that conquers life too!

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    • That's the thing though! Ambitious men (or ones that perceive to be) tend to waver whenever I tell them about my own ambitions and goals. They seem impressed but then sort of drawn back. The body language tells me a lot.

    • Really that's strange

    • I feel that is is possible that men feel Masculine when they are the ones far more accomplished and more in power over their female partner.

  • I would love an accomplished woman. The more and accomplished she is, the better. Especially if her personality is top notch!

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  • He would be a possi if he was scared from accomplished woman.
    She can be the biggest inspiration for her husband/boyfriend

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  • Probably the reason they're being quite is because you're talking.

    I don't know anyone, boy or girl, whose scared of someone who is accomplished. The idea that strong women scare men is BS.

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  • Nope, why would I be scared? I actually admire any other higher educated person regardless of their gender. I admire their acomplishment and the effort they have put in their success!

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    • It's an impression I have been receiving. First impressed and then drawn back.

  • Men are scared of women in general. Doesn't matter how successful they are. =/

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  • no, are in awe of them

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    • That's the impression I get. But then they usually back away or get competitive.

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    • How refreshing. Wish I was born 30 years ago!

    • I think men these days lack plumb, a lot need to grow a set, particularly around women

  • Things like that dont really intimidate me at all.

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  • just the scum you don't want, anyway.

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  • only the pussy men are..

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  • I don't think that it so much emasculates a guy as it just makes the woman less feminine in a lot of guys minds

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  • no noone is "intimidated" by you. we just dont want all the baggage that goes with you... .

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    • What baggage? Being successful?

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    • I'm not prideful nor do I have any baggage. Like I mentioned I don't braf about things I'm doing but simply my actions are what implies that I'm taking steps towards accomplishing high end goals. Being ambitious and serious with work.
      My personality is laid back and humorous but when it comes to work and school I'm serious.
      Most people who meet me first don't get an impression that I'm ambitious but rather I'm girlish and kiddish.

    • You could always downplay your work. If someone asks me about my work, I usually tell them I design clothing or that I work in retail, I never tell them I own the company.

What Girls Said 8

  • some are; studies show that a lot of men relate their pride to their success at work, so hearing that you've accomplished a lot can be intimidating.

    that said, there are men out there who aren't insecure and will support you.

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    • So true. That makes a lot of sense. Men tend to get in awe but then become extremely competitive with me as well as bragging about their own acconplishments. I don't say a word but rather through my actions they get struck.

    • I agree as well.

  • Speaking as someone who has a PhD I will say that if a man is insecure he will be threatened by it. I've dated a few guys like this who turned it into an issue when there was never one in the first place. I'm like you in that I don't brag about what I've done and I'm pretty laidback and relaxed. When I get asked about what I do I'm going to say it but I don't get hung up on it and make it into a huge deal. I've also dated guys who respected me for it but they were confident so it didn't intimidate them one bit.

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  • Only if he himself isn't accomplished.

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  • They're not intimidated. It's just that someone who has a lot to offer may be someone who's hard to please as well. Also, they come across as "humblebrag" as well.

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  • The insecure ones yeah

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  • I wish I could find this study that says men are intimidated by successful women. I think women who have something to say intimidates men in general. Why? I don't know

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  • Yes, because it threatens their ego and they want u to need them, if they are a real man. Most men nowadays want their woman to pay half the bills and birth their children and keep them excited and be mysterious etc etc which is a lot of work. It really depends on how successful the man is themselves I suppose.

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  • Some of them are afraid of such women.

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